Jason Bourne vs. Steve Austin

Cafe Society
1

man-stength:
bourne- 1.5-2.0 (with proper conditioning and focus)
austin- 50.0 (with unsettling sound effects)

maximum running speed:
bourne- 45kph
austin- 96kph

cost to replace:
bourne- $34million (2002 value)
austin- $6 million (1974 value)

martial skills:
bourne- various armed and unarmed techniques
austin- mainly boxing and combative football

main vocation:
bourne- soldier/assasin
austin- air force officer/astronaut

bosses:
bourne- alex conklin, devious irish CIA project head
austin- oscar goldman, level-headed jewish adminstrator

main weaknesses:
bourne- lack of story line
austin- character eclipsed by a professional wrestler of the same name, married farrah fawcett

2

Heh, at first I did think you meant “Stone Cold” Steve Austin.

Bourne might stand a chance if he has a book or a rolled-up magazine to use as a weapon.

3

Bourne would control most of the fight, but a sidden kick to the gut and a Stone Cold Stunner would end things. Much beer to be consumed afterward.

4

Bourne.

Austin has two things going against him: a glass cranium and he is extremely unlikely* to kill.

*I presume we’re talking about the Lee Majors version and not Martin Caidin’s original assassin.

5

28 MPH for Bourne? Is that a World Record?

NB: In 2011, those are:
JB: $41.78m
SA: $26.9m

Irish? We’re talking about the movies here, right, hence the 2002 date? Don’t remember an accent in there besides maybe Kansas City.

Was the $6 Million Dollar Man known for its plot? I never watched it so I’m asking honestly.

6

sorry, bit of a hyperbole. 100m in ten flat is 36kph. but that’s not the maximum speed the likes of carl lewis can run. somewhere along that 100m stretch, sprinters can go well past 40kph (so one nike ad claims.)

yeah, the jason bourne figure in the movie surprised me. 6 million for bionic man in 1974 already seemed far out.

sounded to me. no slurring intended.

well, it was hokey but episodes for the most part were well-constructed. the series eventually became a maintream viewers’ choice. it had a christmas special starring ray walston, a lyndsey wagner offshoot, even a reunion movie sometime in the late 80s. more to the point, a tv series can easily pick up plots of interest lasting 45 minutes than most movie productions. the fact that lee majors and farrah fawcett were mega-tv stars at the time was a big boost, although richard anderson’s acting carried most of the show.

7

“They spent six million dollars to give me all new bionic parts. Made me stronger, better, faster than I was. Then you know what they did? They put me to work! They expected me to pay it all back! Do you have any idea how long six million bucks takes to pay off on a government salary!?”

Oh wait, that was Steve Summers.

8

^
there’s mortgage redemption insurance. if you croak, the debt’s automatically paid.

9

Caidin’s version would snap Bourne like a twig.

10

Concur, with malice aforethought. :slight_smile:

11

This topic sucks* and is now about Evan Bourne vs Stone Cold

(lol, like that one would end with anything but a stunner and a beer)

*- no offense intended, it doesn’t really suck, but hey, that’s how the saying goes