Heard a good one from a friend today. Said he attended a movie that had cameo appearances by actors playing themselves. After a piece by an actor who had died in the past year, the little old lady behind him commented: “They must have filmed that before he died.”
Ya think? :smack:
GT
Ok, it was the word “ban” that threw people off including me. We can’t “ban” organizations or speech about anything really. They just tend to get less popular the more stupid things they say. Other parts of Europe haven’t seemed to grasp that concept yet. We like to kill offensive speech by letting them have as much as they want.
(Jack Chick seems to be unusually savvy about this strategy).
You think so? I’d never heard of the guy until I read my first thread about him here. And I’ve never seen him discussed here or elsewhere in any context other than “Point and laugh at this ridiculous, misguided old man.” Free speech has done the same thing to him as it has to the KKK: neither one has any support to speak of because everyone knows exactly what they’re about.
Maybe they changed their mind.
My folks were on a trip to the Bahamas with a group. Lady from Connecticut said, “Oh, Arizona? That’s between New Mexico and Texas, right?”
Now, this was decades ago before Phoenix was very large but, sheesh that’s about 300 miles off. A similar displacement would put Connecticut about where Ohio is, or North Carolina.
Having lived on both coasts and in Arizona and Texas, I don’t think that’s a big deal. That’s only one state off. On the East Coast, a state’s width isn’t much difference. I wouldn’t expect a lady from Connecticut to place New Mexico and Arizona relative to Texas any more than I’d expect a Zonie to place Vermont and New Hampshire relative to Connecticut.
I had honestly never heard anything other than 9 months concerning the whole gestation thing, and from the reactions of other people I have spoken to neither had they. So consider my ignorance (and soon that of quite a few of my friends) fought.
I mentioned this 9 vs 10 month debate to a friend of mine who laughed and said, “Everyone says 9 months because they really, really, don’t want to be the one pregnant for 42 weeks! That last month is the-month-which-must-not-be-named!” I think maybe he’s right. 
(And the only reason I even care about the whole thing is that I know more and more women who are being induced or c-sectioned at 38 weeks now, so they don’t go “overdue” and it pisses me off. When people don’t know how their bodies are supposed to work, they just blindly agree to what’s convenient for their doctors.)
I was a flute player before I was a Drum Major.
And that’s all I have to say about that.
These read like poorly-told blonde jokes.
Well, the comment was truly truly truly outrageous.
Well. I guess if Revenant Threshold’s version was too dry.
I see your point but I would say something like this in prompting the other person to say “It’s supposed to be just past <Town-I-Might-Know-the-Location-Of>.” I try not to give up without a fight in giving directions.
For those of you who think that food has to be blessed by a rabbi (or anyone else) in order to be kosher:
A relatively quick and painless explanation of the laws of kashrut
Food doesn’t have to be blessed by a rabbi in order to be deemed kosher, in the same way that food doesn’t have to be blessed by the FDA (or whoever approves food in your country) to be considered OK to serve and eat by federal law.
A girl at my university asked me where I was from.
Me: “Seattle.”
Her: “Seattle… Nebraska?”
Yes. The jewel of Nebraska: Seattle.
Me [to next-elbow neighbor on packed flight]: I’ve lived most of my life in Washington state.
Her: But you know, it’s not a state, it’s a district.
I “fell asleep” pretty quickly after that.
Does the SA still discriminate agains gays and lesbians in their hiring?
I read a Nancy Drew novel today that my little girl was reading. The theme is “Nancy tours South America,” so she visits several major historical sites, Macchu Picchu etc. The big crime syndicate activity that she hunts down in this episode? Quinine smuggling. In very small amounts. 
Were you peeking at my calendar? Babybeast was a New Years baby and we were given the due date of Oct 9th. The fact she came Sept 10 was just proof she’s been willful since conception.
On the baby track…We had a coworker that had 2 children who was honestly convinced that babies come from your butt. My husbands ex-girlfriend went to visit a friend in labor and when she was told the girl was 4 centimeters dilated, she peered very closely at the girls face and said “your eyes don’t look dilated!” She was 23 years old at the time.
I knew a girl who believed that she didn’t have germs but everyone else did (so her mom told her) and that if she sucked in her breath while weighing herself, she would weigh less.
I knew a woman that thought that if the car in front of you turned on their blinker to turn, you had to turn yours on too, on down the line to let everyone know someone up ahead was going to turn.
I wasn’t as stupid as one mechanic thought when he told me I needed new sparkplugs. I had a diesel.
My married, 24 year old sister in law called me and asked me how to clean a bathroom.
I see dumb people.
And how could I have forgotten this one?
On shore duty in Japan (early 1990s), I had the weekend CDO duty for the Atsugi PSD. That duty ran from Friday morning until Monday morning. One of the duty tasks was to take the Disbursing section’s locked briefcase and deliver it to the driver of the inter-base shuttle bus. The driver would then deliver it to the PSA (in Yokuska) CDO who would be waiting at the bus stop there. None of us CDOs–neither in Atsugi nor in Yokosuka–had the combination to the case.
Well, I did the duty as requred and was properly relieved by a DK2 who happens to be Filipina (the reason I mention this will be clear shortly). About an hour later, she came to me and said, “Petty Officer Monty, why didn’t you deliver the Disbursing briefcase to the bus driver Friday?” I responded with, “Excuse me? Ask me that again but think about it before you do.” (I didn’t take too kindly to being accused of not doing my duty.) She then said, “I just got off the phone with Yokosuka and they say the briefcase is empty. Why?”
I stared at her for a moment and then said, “Go to H~!” She got very upset and said, “I’m going to report this to the OIC!” Big whoop. That day, the OIC was off-base for the entire day, as scheduled. My supervisor, a PN1 who happened to be Filipino asked me why I told her that. I suggested he think about it for a second. I swear I saw a light bulb appear over his head. He said, “Ah! Of course! I’ll go talk to her about it.”
Thirty minutes later, the PN1 came back into my section and said, “That chick’s stupid even in Tagalog.”
Many years ago when the Olympics were in Lillehammer (sp?) a friend’s girlfriend was watching the ski jump. Well, it was a Norwegian who was jumping. Friend’s girlfriend chimed in with “Where’s Norwegia?” I think someone said something to effect that it was close to Canaydia