Co-workers are good for a lot of things. Moving targets. Objects of jest. And occassionally, some inspiring deep thoughts. One of my co-workers shared this little bit of insight with us yesturday (precurrsor…I live in Austin, so remember the climate):
“What’s so refreshing about a Summer’s Breeze, anyway? I mean, summers are all hot and sticky here.”
I worked with these two girls who always said stupid things, but here are the two I remember the best. Keep in mind with the first one, she had been working with us for 2 or 3 months. and the second one was after the girl was fired and working at the bakery were I went to pay for my wedding cake.
Girl A: “Do we have cinnamon rolls?”
Me thinking: Duh, you put them out this morning!
This is 5 min into a conversation on why my check didn’t go though for my wedding cake. (I was double charged for something from another buisness.)
Okay, I know I told this tale in one of those “Unbelievably dumb things people have said” threads, but I feel oddly compelled to share it again.
My 19-year-old coworker told me she wanted to go to Vancouver, because it’s legal to smoke pot there. I seriously doubted the veracity of this statement, and said so. She assured me that this was true, and while I still didn’t believe it, I just shrugged it off. I didn’t feel like having an argument on such an inane topic. But then I remembered a college classmate telling me she got arrested for trying to bring a tiny bit of pot over the Canadian border into British Columbia. I related this story to my coworker, and she said, “Whatever, I know it’s legal in Vancouver.”
Me: “But my classmate was arrested trying trying to bring pot into British Columbia. I seriously don’t think it’s legal to smoke pot in Canada.”
Her: “I don’t think it is legal in Canada, I’m going to go to Vancouver.”
Me: “Uh…huh? Vancouver is in Canada.”
** Great deal of confusion ensues. I wonder if she is putting me on. **
Her: “So, what IS Vancouver?”
Me: “Um…a city. In British Columbia. In Canada.”
Her: “What’s British Columbia?”
Me: “A province.”
Her: “What’s that?”
Me: “It’s like a state. But in Canada.”
AHHHH!!! I can’t believe I had that conversation. Just thinking of it hurts my head.
This isn’t so much a stupid thing to say, but more of a surreal moment. I heard this from the cubicle next to mine, “No, don’t put crotchless panties on the monkey.”
Thea is my tiny evil clone here at work. She looks as sweet as pie, but comes up with some really impressive bitchiness: once she looked at me and said, “Gee, I hope I’m bitter as you when I get to be old!” And when I came back to work with a cast on my arm, she asked me, "Did you piss off your pimp again?
Eve - I think that working with Thea must be a hoot. It has to beat working with some of my co-workers who have been known to express racist comments without batting an eye.
A customer walks into the store and asks my coworker if we have anything for Valentine’s.
“Sure, everything we have is there,” my coworker said, pointing to the small display of candy and heart-shaped junk. “Plus we’ve got stuffed animals out the yang.”
“Are they fresh out the yang?” the customer asked.
When it was slow at my former job, I use to waste valuable time on line checking stock prices. ( This is back in the days known as When I Use To Care About Such Things.)
Anywhoo, my boss, a woman about 44, didn’t get stocks.
" If the stock goes up, you get money. *But * if it goes down, do you owe them money?."
My coworkers invariably forward any email that tells them to without checking the veracity first. I’ve given up on trying to tell them that there is no such thing as email tracking software, that antipersperants do not cause cancer, or whatever else is currently making the rounds.
At least one of the bosses has taken to checking with me before she spams the office.
That reminds me, the boss who checks with me sent me somone’s attempt at humor a couple of months back. The topic was Dubya approving a larger than normal raise for Government employees. I told her that it’s probably not true because the site the email linked was nothing more than an insult.
I also tracked down the boss of the moron responsible for that spam and forwarded it to him along with the message that his employees should be more careful what they email.