It is a different breed of extraterrestrial ferret?
If I may be utterly heretical, I prefer my cheesesteaks with pepperjack. But I’ll settle for provolone if that’s not available.
Don Jr: Heh-heh. Hey, Eric. Let’s tell dad who to pick for VP.
Eric: Mheh. I’d rather pick my nose.
Don Jr: Shuttup, buttmunch. How about JD Vance?
Eric: Mheh. Yeah, he’s like teepee for my bunghole.
Don Jr: Yeah, and picking him will own some libs, Heh-heh…
I never truly understood what the term “mouth breather” meant until I saw multiple pictures of Eric Trump.
It’s all in a day’s work for Bicycle Repair Man!
Just wait till they find out that Vance’s hands are bigger than tanTrump’s
Weirdly shaped, but bigger.
He just comes across as three aliens piloting a human suit.
He is so funny to laugh at until I remember that he is my Senator. What an absolute embarrassment.
Don’t usual, less weird pols, when they invade a business for a photo-op, find a business with a crowd that they can interact with? What’s the point of going into a donut shop if you’re the only one there, and they don’t even know who you are? Just give me a box of whatever makes sense 
I read somewhere (can’t find the cite now) that he went into the wrong shop, instead of the one that had been prepped to expect him, which explains their confusion and unreceptiveness. I’ll look again.
Edit to add: on reconsideration I may be remembering it incorrectly. It may have been something like “they went to the wrong shop” not in the sense that there was a right one they failed to visit, but more in the sense that they picked one at random and got very unlucky with a cold reception. (Compare “Ya broke into the wrong rec room, didn’tcha!” from the classic film Tremors.)
This just feels like bad campaigning, before, during, and after.
BEFORE: Some campaign worker should’ve checked in with local Republicans to find a Republican small-business owner who would welcome Vance into the shop. This feels like a quick email or phone call to the local HQ, and then a phone call to the business owner. Surely there are some fascist stans in the area who want a couch-fucker in their store. Also, Vance needs to spend like twenty minutes watching videos of Obama and Clinton go into stores and shoot the shit with the yokels, see how it’s done.
DURING: Vance should be better at this. There’s no excuse for being so bad at talking to humans.
AFTER: Given the video that they got, why the fuck did they release it? Who on their team watched the video, said, “That’s gold!” and posted it to social media or whatever?
I mean, Vance is a hot mess, but his team is completely incompetent at this.
W. Kamau Bell agrees:
https://x.com/wkamaubell/status/1826779571288768897
Someone is supposed to scout ahead and make sure everyone there is interested in being on camera AND excited to talk to you. And if your team finds out that no one at the place is interested in talking to you and some don’t even want to be on camera with you - situations that I’m sure you are used to by now - then your team needs to find another establishment.
Yeah, they’re really bad at this, and this is an “event” that would require little prep. But you gotta do the prep.
Even teams supporting a skilled, charismatic politician, someone you could probably just set on autopilot, don’t take the risk that their guy is walking into an unfortunate (or even worse, hostile) situation.
I’ve never seen (until now) one of these photo-ops where the candidate isn’t at least jovial. Usually they can actually feign enjoying themselves for the short amount of time they spend with the unwashed.
Can’t wait for the mandatory state-fair appearances in which Vance attempts to deep-throat a bratwurst.
He also has no idea how to move a conversation forward. It should’ve been like this:
Instead, it was:
Like, there were NPCs in 1980s Nintendo games with more varied dialogue options.
I don’t want to know what he does with the bun!
At least pretend that you actually care about what kind of donuts you are picking out, not “whatever works”.
Or, you know, if you are unable to do the prep, you could look at the footage and decide, oh, maybe we should just delete this instead of sharing it around. But film is expensive and they cannot afford to waste it.
But what if that is the least embarrassing of the footage they got this week? The really bad stuff was deleted.
It would be hilarious if a bunch of comics could reenact the donut shop scene straight faced and verbatim.