My sister and niece visited me this week and we went out to eat. Niece refused to try the duck, and my sister gently asked why. The explanation that my niece gave was kind of crazy. She basically admitted to having never had duck before, but that it seemed totally gross to her. To her credit, I think she heard how lame she sounded and actually tried some. Still didn’t like it, but we all praised her for being brave.
That said, she’s a teenager and we were trying to encourage her to be more adventurous. Nagging a grown person to eat when they don’t want to is not only rude, but it’s counter-productive. Who has ever fallen in love with someone that they’ve been pressured to eat?
I’d love for someone to post a story about how they were pressured into eating something and they ended up vomiting all over the table.
I eat all kinds of stuff, just no factory farmed animal products. That means I’m pretty much vegan when I’m not at home, save for a few other like minded friends’ houses and a few restaurants.
Somehow, I’ve gotten very lucky and while I have explained my stance at extended family gatherings, it’s never been under the pressure of “you have to try this,” or people trying to sneak food onto my plate or something. I always find something to eat, I bring a dish to pass that of course I can eat, and the subject doesn’t really come up except in conversations started out of curiosity. Of course, it doesn’t hurt that in the rest of my non-family life, the majority of my friends and co-workers are vegetarian and vegan or eat like me.
You know, when my mother in law declared she did not like meat I didn’t nitpick her for using bacon. If someone tells me “I don’t like game meat” I hear that as “if something is from a wild animal the odds are overwhelming I won’t like it”. If they are over at my house after that I’ll say something like “the venison stew is done - by the way, I also have this other thing over here, which everyone else is welcome to try, too.” and it will be something without any wild critters in it.
Seriously, I try to be respectful of the food choices of other adults. I don’t care if it’s for medical, religious, or simple dislike reasons. I get no joy from coercing others. Adults should be able to refuse game meat, shellfish, any type of wine, mushrooms, broccoli, or whatever. On the flip side they shouldn’t make faces at others enjoying what they don’t like, but really, a little more respect all around would be a good thing.
I’ve got plenty of friends. What I don’t have is an abundance of people that piss me off all the time being rude. The system works, if you don’t want to spend your life rolling your eyes and muttering “oh, boy” when a purported “friend” comes on the scene. Some people want to live like that - some people like Justin Beiber; I’m not in either group.
Judith Martin and I agree on huge point about etiquette - its purpose is not “how to stay friends with people that treat you rudely.” Most etiquette questions boil down to “This person treats me like crap - how do I keep them as a friend?” The answer is “You don’t.”
I’m somewhat of a super-taster. I can’t eat bitter vegetables like cress, and beets make me gag. My wife is forever trying to get me to eat beets, even though I tell her “no, not now, not ever, never.” I think I’ve finally gotten through to her not to put jagged-leaf greens on my salads, and to go easy on the spinach, though. But it’s taken 20 years. I also do better with mixed fruit, so a bowlful of just raspberries is over-tart to me. So what did I get this morning? Right.
When I was in first grade, and eating lunch in the school cafeteria, I refused to eat the wax beans that were on my tray. One of the teachers stood over me and insisted I eat at least three bites before deciding I didn’t like them. I took a forkful and shoved them in my mouth and then blew chunks all over the table. They didn’t make me eat anything I didn’t like ever again. In my defense, I was only six years old.
You know what’s passive-aggressive and dismissive as hell? Telling a fucking adult you know better than they do about what they like to eat. I don’t give a shit if his reaction is in his head. I don’t give a shit if he believes game meat is full of gremlin eggs and if you eat it you’ll puke up fuckin’ mogwais. Grown ups get to decide what they do and do not want to eat, and polite people shut the fuck up about it.
We all know what you are.
Well… that did happen to me once, but it was due to my food allergy. The offender just didn’t comprehend that ketchup, no matter how small the quantity, was also forbidden under the “tomatoes can kill Broomstick” rule. So I’m not sure it applies, exactly. I mean, the stew was decreed as safe and normally I like stew, so there wasn’t any refusal.
Quite an exciting night. The hostess never did forgive me for what I did to her guest “powder room” but I honestly couldn’t help it. Then there was the ambulance ride, the ER in Rockford, Illinois… Not the best end to an evening.
For many years after, though, no one in that social circle EVER insisted I try something after the first refusal…
Wow. I eat lots of stuff that many people won’t touch, oysters on the half shell? Decimated 3 dozen at one sitting before i got embarrased. I have tried quail, pheasant, squirrel, rabbit, something called hunter’s stew that was all kinds of game, and deer. No like. The incident that got me thinking was being prevailed upon to try elk. And I just figured, I had to choke down the other, and at my age, I just ain’t gonna do it again. And drastic_quench, sorry, miss elizabeth is right. You’re just doing the same thing–saying “well, you haven’t tried it ALL, so you can’t say that.” I can and will say it. I’m a grown-up.
Adding my story. This goes back to nursery school days, though I still remember it and still have an aversion to jam. Someone insisted, against my objections, that I ‘just try’ the jam sandwich. I ate it, thought, in all honesty that it wasn’t too bad and promptly hurled it all back up again.
I still don’t eat jam.
Similar incident as an adult when a friend and her Mom assured me that what they were offering was guaranteed to settle my stomach. At their insistence, I tried it and barely made it to the nearby washroom to projectile vomit. I mostly hit the toilet, cleaned up what I could, but apparently didn’t get it all.
There are things that I can eat now that I refused as a child, and some things that I still can’t choke down, even for politeness’ sake. If need be, the phrase “Have you ever seen projectile vomit?” seems to dissuade most people from pursuing the path of insisting I try things I clearly have no desire to.
You’re all fussing about clueless people who insist you try something you know you don’t like.
But wait, it gets worse!
Sometimes it gets serious!
There have been news stories that I’ve read (sorry, I can’t find any cites right now) of parties, the kind of birthday party full of little kids, where the hostess just had to insist that a certain little kiddie try her delicious home-baked peanut butter cookies!
You already know where this is going. Little kid declines, saying “I’m allergic to peanuts!”.
Party hostess-mom-person insists.
Little kid declines.
Party hostess-mom-person insists, cajoles, wheedles, etc.
Little kid declines.
Party hostess-mom-person insists, cajoles, wheedles, etc.
Little kid, worn down, takes a bite.
Little kid . . . Okay, you already know how it ends.
I am not quite so militant about it. I would never insist someone try something once it is offered and refused but I do cut a little slack if someone is proud of a new dish and really wants feedback. More than once I have been pleaseantly surprised and on a few occassions I wanted to barf. I tend to eat what I put on my own plate and if someone else puts something on my plate I reserve the right to simply not eat it.
I like to cook and I also like to entertain guests for dinner. If I don't know them that well I inquire ahead of time about their tastes.
My worst experience has been with wild duck and beaver. Both of them made me want to barf. I took one bite of each.
Too many examples to mention, but how about feta cheese? My wife thought it looked like the most disgusting thing she had ever seen floating in the brine, got her to try it in a salad. At some point after that I was looking for a block of feta I bought the night before in the fridge, she said she made a salad and ate it. :eek:You ate an entire block of feta?
