If I am out in public, I am one of the nicest, politest people you would ever want to meet, as long as I am treated with a bit of respect. That is, as long as you keep your kids at YOUR table in the restaurant, I’m not likely to complain about their noise levels, no matter how much it bothers me. If a child (or adult) comes to my table and starts bothering me, I’m likely to tell that person to go away. Similarly, when I’m shopping, I understand that the clerks have to come up to me, ask how I’m doing, what I’m looking for, etc. I vastly prefer to shop in blessed silence, but by going into a brick and mortar store, I understand that I’m subject to the store’s policies.
However, if you disturb me in my home, without benefit to me*…then you bring your doom upon your own head. I WILL answer the door wearing my usual house apparel, which consists of a pair of glasses, a pair of underwear, and a pair of flip flops. Don’t like it? Don’t ring my frigging doorbell, the one that has a couple of signs next to it, one with a man with a briefcase with a line through him, and one with a couple of generic people, one holding up a book with a cross on it, and with a line through them. These signs don’t have language on them, so there’s no excuse to ring my doorbell. I sleep during the day, which makes me even crankier if someone keeps ringing my bell.
*If I’m expecting a package or a repair person, then I’ll get up, stay up, and be modestly dressed.
And for the record, I am generally a nice person when I am out and about. My home is my sanctuary and if you don’t have official business with me and I didn’t invite you, you are not welcome to ring my doorbell and disturb my peace.
I was living out in the boonies with three kids and a dog, so I was just chat starved enough to invite the JW in for coffee a few times and they were nice enough company.
Eventually after a few visits they started talking about how their version of the bible was found buried somewhere (or whatever) and I asked what would happen if I buried a copy of the National Enquirer and decades later someone dug it up and started a religion based on the text…blink…
They said they’d get back to me but I never saw them again.
Living in apartment complexes over the years, most of the time, I’ve not been disturbed by folks coming to my door to sell me Jesus or anything else. But when I still lived in the city, the last one was in a working class Hispanic neighborhood and had no signs barring solicitation.
Many Saturday mornings, when I was trying to sleep in from either working late the night before or partying, I would be awakened by a knock on the door. Most of the time, a polite but gruff “not interested” was my response. Once in a while, though, smartassery got the better of me.
One Saturday, about 9:00 am, a couple of what appeared to be Penecostal ladies rapped, waking me from a sound sleep. When I answered the door, one of them asked me if I would like to get to know Jesus better.
My reply? “Isn’t he the guy who lives in apartment 79? Literally, the man upstairs?”
They just handed me a pamphlet and left with just a polite thank you.
My husband was my secret weapon he attended two Sunday schools as a kid - Catholic and Anglican - he looks the most unlikely person to know anything about the bible but surprise! He’ll tie them in knots - they become the ones trying to get away.
Recently two carpet-cleaning hucksters came up the driveway, and I happened to see them ‘cause I was standing at the kitchen sink. The window was open, so I just said, "Whatever it is you’re sellin’, fellas, I’m not interested."
“Oh, we’re giving away a free carpet cleaning!” one said brightly.
“Don’t have any carpet.” They looked so confused, I found it hilarious. Had they never encountered a home with all hardwood floors before?
I mentioned it to my Mom, and said, “Well, I guess they were better than Jehovah’s Witnesses.”
She said if the JWs come to the door, just tell them the following (rather offensive) joke:
[spoiler] Why do Jehovah’s Witness women usually have inverted nipples?
From people always saying, “Get poke the poke hell poke off poke my poke porch!”
(OK, that jokes works a lot better when told in person.)[/spoiler]
Had to ------ small breechclout and slightly above average “everything”. The Delaware not being known for their horses I figured to keep my mine under the blanket.
The lengths I will go to not to be British. :smack:
One time in NYC, I got accosted by a Mormon. Then two seconds later I got accosted by a deaf peddler selling ASL cards. I also once got accosted by a Sciencelogist in Times Square.
I got TARGETED by the JWs. Apparently they target deaf and hoh folks. They repeately stopped by and really wanted me to come to their church. I SO BADLY wished my girlfriend had been around… Would have turned to her and kissed her on the lips, and asked her " what do you think? Should we go?"
They seem to work somewhat. I still get the occasional idjit (both sales and proselytizers) who thinks that such things don’t apply to him/her. With sales, they are “collecting votes for a scholarship”, that is, they’re selling magazine subscriptions and each dollar or sale is a vote, and with proselytizers, they can’t believe that I don’t want to hear the Good News. I have seen people approach my front door, glare at the signs, and then walk away without ringing the doorbell. So I guess that the signs DO work some of the time.
I picked the signs up at an office supply store, though I’ve also seen them online. If you go to an atheist sales site, there’s a decent chance that they’ll have them in stock.
I’m tempted to get this one, though: http://no-solicitors-sign.com/ . It covers EVERYTHING, although I’d probably need another one in Spanish. I get a lot of men ringing my doorbell, wanting to cut my lawn, and talking to me in Spanish. I know that they want to cut the lawn because they have a truck with a bunch of lawnmowers in the bed, and they use sign language.
Good question, I have UPS/FEDEX and DHL trained to drop the package off and leave me alone, and for the longest time the blind on my door window was a used pistol sillhouette target taped on the inside of the glass and a note saying that if you did not call ahead and make an appointment I was not answering the door and to go away. It seemed to work quite well, but mrAru made me take it down and the missionaries have started knocking again.
Having recently moved to PA I don’t kow if this is typical or not but I get supper salesmen at my door about twice a month. They are selling tickets to a church BarBQ. Apparently I have to tell every single church in a 20 mile radius 3 times each, no I don’t want to go to your church even if you feed me. Waving them away from my door from the inside is not working at all, they just keep standing there while I put 7 yapping dogs away that are certain we are being invaded, I’m thinking of a sign that says I don’t want tickets to anything or maybe a nice sign of a church steeple with a NO sign on it.
I’ve only been visited by JWs once. It was in my old apartment about 3 weeks before we moved out. When I heard the knock on the door and the buzzer hadn’t gone off I assumed that meant that it was an apartment finder and someone who wanted to look at the place. Unfortunately since it was Saturday at about 9:30 I was wearing nothing but a sleep shirt and my boyfriend was wearing nothing but boxers so I sent him to put on some pants and I answered the door with the intention of peeking my head out and advising them to hold on one minute while we dressed before they could see the apartment. The moment I noticed that it wasn’t a apartment realtor but instead someone who wanted to sell me religion was the exact same moment that my cat decided to make a break out the door and run up the next 3 flights of stairs. He had done this about 5 times before and I knew I needed to be fast on his heels to catch him before he found an open door or window to get out of the building completely or into a stranger’s apartment so I just pulled the door shut behind me and ran up the stairs after him pants-and-underpantless. When I came back down carrying the cat (who hates being held but never fights it when you pick him up to carry him back into the apartment) my boyfriend was standing there with a copy of the watchtower and no religious visitors. Apparently the sight of my naked ass rushing past them was enough to have them leave the building completely even though they hadn’t visited every apartment.
and the missionaries have started knocking again.