My friend has experienced this. He and his wife had marital problems a few years ago, and he left. He was no longer aloud to enter his home or the church, he was no longer welcome at his parent’s house, and he was expected to wait in the car when picking up his children for visits. His mother refused to speak with him even by phone, his estranged wife began a successful campaign to turn his teenage daughter against him, and all former members of his large church would turn their backs on him when he met them in the grocery store, at gas stations, the mall- whenever their paths would cross. Because the church encourages segregation from the “worldly” people (meaning: everyone outside the JW faith) he had not a single friend to speak with. His only human contact outside of work was a once per week visit with his young son. After six long, dark months of loneliness, depression, thoughts of suicide, and alcohol abuse, he returned to the church. When I ask why he returned to the place that condoned such contemptible treatment, he defends the church vehemently, and explained that the shunning procedure was a necessary means of forcing an apostate’s return to the church. He also swears by the separation of JW members and world people, and feels strongly that the JW members need to be protected from the world when possible- so most of his fellow parishioners home school their children. His church also discourages members from attending college, and female members are discouraged from pursuing professional careers. It is implied (though not stated in print, as far as I know) that only men are strong enough to work a full time job and maintain a sense of detachment from the world people.
He still ashamedly complains of unhappiness in his marriage, but is once again a member in good standing of the JW church. He confesses feelings of bitterness, anger, and feelings of spiritual bankruptcy. Of course, he is not supposed to converse with me at all outside of casual pleasantries, so I feel lucky that he feels comfortable enough to confide in me. I am very careful to say nothing but encouraging and reassuring words. My heart has been breaking for him for years, but if the alternative to the church is total isolation, scorn and contempt, he is probably better off with the church.
raindog, I noted that you have offered to provide factual information about the JW faith to share, and I apologize if you are tasked with correcting any of my information. Several duties at my job require both a male and female staff member present, and I am stuck in a car with my JW friend for hours long road trips to transport kids in state custody. As my friend’s faith is a source of inner turmoil as well as a fact of his existence, we talk about little else. I have watched him struggle mightily, and have felt largely helpless when attempting to find comforting words.