Seriously…from what I’ve seen with my own family’s experience, it seems to be a hateful religion… My perspective comes from my now sister-in-law, a former Jehovah’s Witness. When she first started dating my brother (she was 16, he was 17), she hid it from her parents because he wasn’t a JW and that was not allowed. Well, they found out. And when she refused to stop seeing him, they kicked her out of the house. Literally. They pushed her out the door and locked her out. She eventually came to live with my family because my parents couldn’t just leave her on the street. And so it was for a couple years until her and my brother married.
Her parents refused to come to the wedding. They had barely even spoken to her over the last few years except to try to make her leave my brother and rejoin the church (she had been kicked out of the church too). So the poor thing had to spend her wedding without any family there. A few months later she gave birth to my niece and begged her parents to come see her. They finally did. But only because they had gone to the church and gotten permission from the elders to go see their own daughter in the hospital.
From that point forward, things got a bit better. But they still only talked to her occassionally. But she couldn’t spend the night at their house or come by without clearing it through them before hand. Noone in my family, including her or my brother or their kids could eat with her family. Apparently they won’t dine with non-JW’s. Everytime they move, her family sends JW’s to their house to try and get her back into the church. It’s getting to the point where it’s straining their marriage because she’s desperate to be on good terms with her family again and is trying to get my brother to join the church (which he refuses to do).
From what I’ve seen, why would anyone voluntarily be part of a church that seems to value family so little? That they would choose their religion over their own daughter…it just seems so hateful to me. How has this religion gotten so popular and stayed alive for so long? It reeks more of a cult to me than a religion. But then again I suppose I’m biased. Are all JW’s like this? Or are they the extremists of the bunch?
(mods I think this is the right form, but if it belongs in imho I’m sorry)
I am an agnostic who dated a JW for several years. By the time that relationship ended, she was agnostic, too. Their witnessing backfired! Score 1 for the team. 
Anyway, from what I gathered during that time, one of the teachings is that JWs are not to affiliate themselves with the “worldly” (essentially anything or anyone non-JW) as Satan has too much control and influence over the worldly. So, if you are a non-JW, you are worldly, and and worldly things should not corrupt the JWs or come between JWs and Jehovah.
I dated their daughter for a long time, and I was always welcome in their house and I went to some of their Kingdom Hall gatherings. We had many great conversations about religion. It was fun. In fact, the family was sad to see me go.
So, it seems that there are varying levels of acceptance of worldly people and things. Some JWs are more willing to accept the fact that you cannot simply divorce yourself 100% from all things worldly. It’s just not realistic. The JWs you encountered seem to be on the extreme end of JWs. There are others who are more reasonable.
However, IIRC, if a JW marries a worldly person, the JW can expect to be kicked out of the church, and the family may attempt to remind the JW of how wrong it is. Whether they push the issue so hard that it breaks up the family depends on the family.
The teaching is not to hate worldy people. Love them, but do not allow worldly things to creep into and influence your life… Something in the Bible about you’re not supposed to share the darkness with the light. It’s not rooted in hate toward worldly people, but more of a desire to keep yourself pure. I never detected any hate from JWs.
I don’t think it is a JW thing per se, simply because any bigoted couple whose daughter had married someone of a different race or faith would behave in a virtually identical manner.
The only relevant JW element is that the parents can tell themselves that the suffering they inflict on themselves and everyone else puts them in God’s good graces. It’s sadomasochism, with a bible.
Luke 14:26
“If any man come to me, and hate not his father, and mother, and wife, and children, and brethren, and sisters, yea, and his own life also, he cannot be my disciple.”
Unless there are any JWs here, your best bet is to register at a JW board and attempt to ask questions respectfully about what they believe and why.
It might be because they think that Jehovah’s Witnesses are the true faith. It’s my own opinion that they are sincere but misled and the faith has some pretty shaky theological underpinnings. But those that believe, really believe and for them it’s perfectly logical to value their church above everything else, even their own families.
Some very close family friends of ours became Jehovah’s Witnesses about thirty-five years ago. They are wonderful people, friendly and tolerant of others, and do not themselves proselytise much.
Prior to the conversion, they were lapsed Catholics, I believe.
The conversion was brought about after lots of grief and soul searching after their son was killed in Vietnam, and it has brought them some comfort since. I’m not willing to fault their motives nor their chosen path, especially as their application of it hews well to good Christian behavior (indeed, good moral behavior in general) as I understand that to be.
Not the path I would choose, certainly, but not my choice.
Do you mean the part about her hiding her relationship from her parents when she was a minor? Or the part about her disobeying her parents when she was still a minor? Do you mean those family values?
Seriously, one sample hardly describes the norm of any particular group. From what I’ve seen of Jehovah’s Witnesses, they’re generally polite and not very confrontational. I’ve actually had a few rather interesting conversations with a few Jehovah’s Witnesses on my commute to work in Incheon. Now, that doesn’t mean that’s the norm either for that group.
I used to be best friends with a JW. I never got a hint from him or his family that they didn’t like me because I was “worldly.” Nicest, more generous folks you’d ever care to meet.
All faiths have their nice folks and their bigots. I’ve heard tales of most every denomination kicking kids out of the house for this sort of things.
As well for those with no religion at all - witness Madyln Murray O’Hair’s cutting off contact with her son after he became a Christian.
At least the Jehovah’s Witnesses are doing it as a matter of principle - I am not aware of any requirement of atheism that they cut themselves off from those that believe in God. O’Hair seems merely to have been an asshole.
Any group large enough to see is going to have a few of those.
Regards,
Shodan
I don’t see how this has anything to do with JWs. Many religous families are like this, many are not. The religion itself has very little to do with it. I use to date a Jewish girl, we were going out for 2.5-3 years or so. Never once was I invited to a family dinner, her father barely even acknowledged my existence, when he saw me I was normally greeted with a grunt. When I complained she said that ‘I didn’t understand’. I did, she didn’t, her parents were bigoted. Being a bigot has absolutely nothing to do with what particular religion or race you are. This persons parents are bigots, that is it, they probably wouldn’t have wanted her to date/marry a black guy either. Unless you are a black person. If that was the case, would you attribute their bigotry to their religion as well?
Well. As odd as this may sound: My mom became a Jehova’s Witness when she got cancer. She was baptized and all, just before she died.
I come from a long line of non-believers, or atheïsts, if you like.
I think my mother was searching for something. Forgiveness? I don’t know.
I dò know that she wasn’t overjoyed by being a JW.
She didn’t like the door-to-door thing and she certainly wasn’t as strict as the OP’s example.
I was a kid though, at that time, and she insisted I’d go with her doing the prostilizing and going to the gatherings.
After she died her fellow JWs came and repeatedly checked whether I was ready for their club.
I didn’t believe then, as I don’t believe now, so I guess they’re still waiting. 
So, as to ‘Why would anyone want to be a Jehova’s Witness?’
I think the answer is: For the same reason someone chooses any religion.
Although I agree with you in principle, I disagree with this application.
It is quite clear that as far as these parents are concerned, (the OP) their “bigotry” was based on their religion. (Although they may have had other issues with this young man even if he was a JW)
Even with your own situation, you may have been selling your girlfriend and her parents short. From dictionary.com
For fear of seeming too blunt, or hurting your feelings, (not to mention the simple fact there would be nothing to gain) the parents would probably not engage you on the subject. And it is true that the term “Bigot” carries a lot baggage.
In another setting, those parents might gladly state that,
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They are strongly partial to their own religion, including the fact that most of their social connections and network of friends are from that group, and;
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While they may show a high degree of tolerance towards those of other faiths in their day to day lives, they would be intolerant of someone carrying on with their princess. (which may include moral/family values like pre-marital sex etc)
Does that define “bigotry?” I think so. Is it always a bad thing? I don’t think so. In fact, by dictionary.com’s definition I am a bigot in some ways, and most people I know would fit the definition.
As to your point about bigotry being universal, I would disagree. Just because someone displays a form of bigotry (which as I said, is not a universally bad thing) doesn’'t mean that they must display indiscriminate bigotry, or that it is pervasive in other areas of their lives. As far as JW’s are considered, it is exponentially more likely (assuming the OP is white) that the parents would have accepted a black JW suitor vs. a white non-JW suitor. They would also been opposed to any suitor for their 16 year old daughter.
At 16 just about everyone’s disobeying their parents. It’s not a big surprise and she’s not the first to do it. She hid it from them because she knew what would happen. She knew what the church taught and what her parents believed. That’s why she hid it from them. And she disobeyed them because she loved my brother. If you loved someone deeply at 16 and your parents ordered you not to see them anymore, would you just say “okey dokey?”. The truth is not many teens would.
I agree that I can’t judge the whole based on my personal experiences with the few, but this isn’t my only run in with fanatical JW’s. I have a friend who told me and my other friends point blank that we were ‘wordly’ people (ie not JW) and she shouldn’t even be friends with us according to her church. She also fell in love with a non-JW and also got ostracized from her family and her church. Hell, when I was ten I had a friend who was a JW and I took her with me one Halloween to go trick or treating and her mother found out. Yes, I understand they don’t celebrate anything but their parents’ anniversary, but her mother literally flipped out and made the poor thing go door to door and return all the candy. How humiliating must that have been for her?
Maybe I’ve just had bad luck and only ran into the crazys but this just seems like there’s a running theme in the religion where if you’re not 100% with the church or your family, they have no need of you.
I was asked to be a Jehovah’s Witness once, but I told them I couldn’t . . . because I didn’t see the accident!
Thank you, I’ll be here all week, try the macaroni salad! 
The JW’s are indeed usually very nice people, but if you want to know more about them, you should do some online research. You may be quite surprised at what you find. This is a good site to start at, (I thought this page was particularly interesting.)
I once dated a girl who could only be described as vehemently anti-JW. She subscribed to some ex-JW newsletters and bought a few books which were highly critical of JW. (She had never been a JW or had anything to do with them - I think she just got tired of them knocking.) Anyway, a lot of that stuff was pretty shocking, but I have no idea how accurate it was. Rather than repeat what could be rumors, I’d just recommend you look it up for yourself.
Based upon my second-hand knowledge, as I mentioned, it goes back to that scripture where the followers of Jehovah are not to share the darkness with the light. This is interpreted to mean that JWs are not to share or participate in things that are “dark” or worldly, as Satan rules the “world”. Participating in worldly things is to share in the works of Satan.
Halloween is seen as an event with roots in pagan religions dealing with demons, etc. Most other holidays are rooted in pagan celebrations. To partake in those holidays is to “share the darkness with the light.” So, JWs don’t do it.
I can understand why the parent made the kid go back and return the candy. Embarassing for the kid, yes. Fitting punishment for disobeying your parents and violating the tenets of your family religion? Yes.
BTW, JWs honor the death of Christ as the only “holiday.” To many Christians, that means “Easter.” To JWs, Easter is a pagan fertility ritual, so JWs don’t do Easter. They honor the death of Christ in their own way on their own day… not coinciding with Easter.
I believe you are right Bearflag70. I believe II Corinthians 6:14 in particular applies:
Yes, I think that is the passage I was referring to, Twin. Thank you.
There is another passage where Satan talks to Jesus on a hill. Satan offers Jesus the world and its governments if Jesus will kneel before Satan. Jesus says, “No thanks.”
Note that Jesus did not say, “The world is not yours to give.”
The implication is that Satan indeed rules the world and has the power to hand it over if Satan wants to.
So, partcipating in “worldly” things, such as voting and pagan rituals and false religions (i.e., Christmas, Easter, Halloween, etc.) is to partake in the “darkness” and subject yourself to the corrupting influences of Satan.
So, when Jehovah instructs you not to share the darkness with the light, you are not supposed to do any of this stuff, even if the rest of the world thinks it’s harmless fun to go trick-or-treat.
When others tell you that there’s no harm in having a little fun, that’s really Satan trying to convince you to come into the darkness and disobey God. If you give in, then Satan wins and you are doomed and risk not being able to share in the gloroius afterlife.
JWs do not believe in a fiery burning in eternal hell, BTW. When you die, you are just dead, unless you are able to partake in paradise after the coming of Christ. The options are either eternal paradise with Christ or simple death.
Huh? I don’t know if I completely understand you here. Have no fear of hurting my feelings please. Just to clear things up a little, we were both in University at the time.
No, her parents wouldn’t engage me in any such discussion. To be engaged in discussion you first must you know say hello and stuff. The fact that in 2.5 years they never once invited me over to me, means something else is going on. Wouldn’t most parents want to get to know the guy who is with their daughter and has been for a fairly significant period? To not want to get to know him on any deeper levels then hello and grunt is very odd.
As to your assertion that most people are bigots you seem to think that is ok. It is okay to be intolerant (from your definition) of people based solely on WHAT they are not WHO are they are?
Why is exponentially more likely that the JWs would accept a black JW to a white none-JW? To me what is exponentially more likely is if one person is intolerant of one type of person (non-JW) they will be intolerant of another type of person as well (black guy).