Jessica Simpson, pop star, and more importantly the centerpiece of MTV’s hit reality absurdity, Newlyweds, makes even drug addled, over the hill, shock rocker Ozzie Osborne look relatively plugged in. In fact Jessica’s inanity is all the more impressive because she operates without the benefit of three decades of brain atrophying booze and narcotics or a cockney accent even Welsh gypsies find indecipherable. Her mental deficiencies are au natral. Here is a list of the what I’m certain will be the first of a volumous collection of cherished Jessica wisdom.
[li]Chicken of the Sea may or may not be made from chicken[/li][li]The Plata-ma-pus is an egg-laying mammal from Australia[/li][li]Buffalo have small but delicious wings[/li][li]If someone is talking about you behind your back your ears will itch[/li][li]When you try something risky you’re playing with water[/ul][/li]
And next week…
[li]23 is almost 25 which is almost mid-twenties[/ul][/li]
If laughing at dumb blonds is wrong, I don’t wanna’ be right.