Jesus kicks ass!

[sturmhauke]

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/news0103/ut2k3mod.html

Some kid made a Jesus mod for Unreal Tournament 2003. I guess if you can’t convert 'em, frag 'em.

[Naz]

Those present at the demonstration were amazed to see the detailed maps and characters Timothy had created for the game. “I felt my heart flutter with excitement when Timothy was able to position Jesus in a spot under a tree on the Mount of Olives and get over 20 kills, but I was not pleased when a Muslim character snuck up behind Him and shot His head right off His shoulders!” said Pastor Deacon Fred, “And the character made a derogatory comment about the Lord, calling him a ‘camper.’”

Further, Pastor asked that the command that allows Jesus to drop his loincloth and activate a sexually suggestive bio-gun that shoots gooey green globs, be deleted from the game. Pastor Deacon Fred was adamant about holding back the release of the Christian maps to the public until Timothy could ensure him that Jesus wouldn’t get killed in the game. "Although it was thrilling to see Jesus killing sinners and hearing the announcer say things like, ‘ultra kill!’ and the words ‘Jesus is on a rampage!’ and ‘Jesus is unstoppable!’ pop up on the screen, I cannot in good conscience allow Timothy to release his maps and characters to the general public until he can get Jesus into this so-called, ‘god-mode’ thing. Only Jesus’ Daddy is authorized to torture and kill our Savior.

…Jesus’ mother, Mayhem Mary…

“It’s called fragging, and when Jesus starts fragging there is no where you can hide. I found that out the hard way yesterday when I played Joseph.”

…Have I just been whooshed?

Great article, though.

[SC_Wolf]

It almost had me fooled too, until I saw it was a Landover Baptist page.