With all the Christian bashing supposedly going on, one of the more common retorts suggests that the Church of the IPU is superior to that of JC.
I think it’s time we settled this question once and for all.
Rather than make this a death-match and risk destroying the Earth in the process let’s limit the battle to… Say the L.A. Coliseum.
The contest will start at dawn. Jesus will be equipped with a lasso, saddle, bridle, and a set of [gasp] …horseshoes, as well as the smithing equiptment to install them. The IPU will have her horn, her pink invisibility, and of course her wits.
Minor miracles are off course permitted, but both parties agree to refrain from any world-rending behavior. They may not alter or leave the coliseum or its environs, and may not invoke alternate incarnations (20 yard penalty for any burning bushes.)
Jesus has until dusk to shoe the IPU, saddle her, break her, and ride her around the interior of the Coliseum or the IPU will be declared victor.
PETA will of course ber on hand to ensure that no animals are harmed during proceedings.
Obviously you are unschooled in IPU dogma. It’s all perfectly logical. We know the IPU is invisible because we can’t see her. We know that she is pink because of faith.
The image I’m having trouble with is Saint Zero’s suggestion that the IPU grazes on astroturf. Hopefully PETA will put a stop to this before the IPU gets colic, and requires veterinary assistance.
As this is my first exposure to the Church of the IPU, may I ask a few questions? I can accept the invisibility thing. I can accept the pink thing. But how, if she is invisible, do we know she’s a unicorn? For that matter, how do we know she’s a ‘she’? And if, indeed, she is a she, wouldn’t that imply that there are other unicorns (since 'she’s only exist in conjunction with 'he’s)? And if so, what makes the IPU any more special than the other hypothetical unicorns? Aside from the invisible pinkness, that is?
As for who would win, I would have to say the IPU…
“Damn it, God, I’m a carpenter not a unicorn wrangler!”
Nah, even as a non-organized religion dude, I find this whole thing to be facetious and not worthy of the excellent debates we have on this topic elsewhere in the board. It seems to border on insulting others that have different opinions, though perhaps it is meant more as a polite joke. Like I said, I missed most of the inception of the IPU.
Again it must be asked: Is this topic not worthy because the challenge is from a newer religion, or is it because the challenge is from a religion you don’t believe in? How would you react to a thread titled Jesus VS. Odin or Jesus VS. Zeus?
Again, I would be more than pleased to contribute to a debate centered around real beliefs. There are (I believe) a few Norse-pagans left in the world, and I would be happy to discuss their beliefs with them should they open a “Jesus vs. Odin”…though I might hope they would phrase their subject line a bit more friendly. Such a post would, whatever my opinion on their religion, be sincere, and I might actually learn something. I would suggest that your
“new religion” is not sincere, and thus facetious, and meant only to be inflammatory. I find that contradictory to the “free exchange of ideas” in which mutual respect for divergent viewpoints is implied, which I feel is inherint to this board. Please let me know if I have misjudged the intent of this thread.
