Actually, Jim Morrison was drowned in wine and his place in the band taken by Jimi Hendrix, who was murdered by the C.I.A. to thwart the existence of a multiracial supergroup.
Read this and you will understand, eventually.
Not only that, Mama Cass and Dan Blocker were the same person.
I will admit that when I first saw this thread title, and that it grown to 62 posts since I last browsed the boards (last night around 10pm), my heart did skip a beat. 
:o
How did Jim treat the AIDS he got from loving people two too many times?
Or was that the guy from Crystal Shit? Now out-obscure my reference!
“The FBI was contacted, and would not verify that it was not him.”
Sorry, but this is significant, how?
Was this done over the phone or did the Fibbies actually go to Loyer’s house?
That whole sentence cancels itself out, Jlizard!!!
I am reminded of the time back in the 80’s when a guy named “Orion” was thought to be Elvis and although he exploited the similarity of his voice with the King’s, he never actually claimed to be Elvis.
http://www.orionjimmyellis.com/
I interviewed the guy and he himself stated he was just an Elvis impersonator. He was encouraged to wear the mask by his manager.
He and his wife were shot to death in 1998 in a pawn shop he owned…
I’m just giving this as an example to say that if this Loyer wants to impersonate JM onstage as an “act”, fine, but don’t insult my intelligence by saying that he’s the real thing using the above FBI reference and a poorly produced video as some kind of proof.
Don’t know how many posts you have, but whew you picked a tough “room” for this one, dude!
Quasi
Major premise: Milkmen are dead
Minor premise: Jim Morrison is not a milkman
Conclusion: Jim Morrisson is not dead
Man, Jim can do anything. So tomorrow will he enter the town of his bith?
What’s really amazing is that while Jim Morrison was born in 1943, he still looks exactly like he did in 1971.
But there’s a portrait in a drawer that’s fugly as all hell.
I’m assuming the conversation went something like this:
JLizard: “Is Bill Loyer secretly John F Kennedy?”
FBI: “We can verify Bill Loyer is not John F Kennedy.”
JLizard: “Is Bill Loyer secretly Elvis Presley?”
FBI: “We can verify Bill Loyer is not Elvis Presley.”
JLizard: “Is Bill Loyer secretly Tupac Shakur?”
FBI: “We can verify Bill Loyer is not Tupac Shakur.”
JLizard: “Is Bill Loyer secretly Marilyn Monroe?”
FBI: “We can verify Bill Loyer is not Marilyn Monroe.”
JLizard: “Is Bill Loyer secretly Jimi Hendrix?”
FBI: “We can verify Bill Loyer is not Jimi Hendrix.”
JLizard: “Is Bill Loyer secretly John Lennon?”
FBI: “We can verify Bill Loyer is not John Lennon.”
JLizard: “Is Bill Loyer secretly L. Ron Hubbard?”
FBI: “We can verify Bill Loyer is not L. Ron Hubbard.”
JLizard: “Is Bill Loyer secretly Jim Morrisson?”
FBI: “…no comment.”
And I bet Jim has a bitchin’ Camaro.
I didn’t think anything was going to top the OP for silliness, but I stand corrected: Oliver Stone’s Doors bio was responsible for the success of grunge rock?
Perhaps the drugs wore off and they realized “No one’s going to go to a remote spot in the mountains for a concert!”
Dammit! I told you to read my book.
Fighting ignorance indeed… :rolleyes:
[QUOTE=Jlizard]
I think between Jim’s high iq and enormous drug usage he was really tough to work with so a lot of people breathed a sigh of relief when he faked his death. Then the legend took a life of its own for a bit, but by the time Oliver Stone’s movie came out the DOORS had been forgotten- superceded by 80s type of music and other bands. Stone’s movie opened the door for rock and roll to come back and shortly thereafter you had STP, Nirvana, Pearl Jam and about a dozen others making it to center stage.
Ian Ashberry from the Cult was called in to be the (sued for 6 milllion dollar) Doors of the 21st Century and most critics say this was the worst second chance attempt in the history of rock in roll. Without a doubt the DOORS did not want to steal limelight or revenue from the Jim Morrison DOORS… but Ray and Robbie just wanted a job for themselves to keep the DOORS fire raging.
[/QUOTE]
Ok…let’s assume that all of the above convoluted logic and misdirection is 100% accurate (whatever it’s supposed to mean). Fine. What’s in it for Jimmy to remain silent? Why would he, on the one hand, fake his death permanently (going to a hell of a lot of trouble to do so), then move back to the US (which, according to your OP would prosecute him and put him in jail), and hide out for years, while supposedly telling you to get the word out for him to his fans that he’s still alive and kicking? How does this make any logical sense?
And if, indeed this guy IS the real, honest to Dog Jim Morrison, and if, indeed he wants to get the word out to his fans that he’s still alive and kicking, why would he need you? At all? His freaking finger prints would be enough to conclusively show that he’s the real Jim Morrison! Let alone a quick, easy and relatively cheap DNA analysis. Let alone myriad other things he could do to prove, conclusively, that he was in fact Jim Morrison. Untold wealth and fame would be his if he did so, since even if most people have forgotten him, the story alone is enough to get him on the talk show circuit. Book deals. Movie deals. Speaking engagements. Hell, if he still has a voice at all he could probably cut a record deal. And yet, we are supposed to just believe that this guy contacted you to get the word out that he’s actually Jim Morrison and wants his loyal fans to know that he’s still alive?? And, well, you seriously want us to believe this?
Does it even make logical sense on any level at all?
Two things. First off, what do you think that ‘scientists’ (it would be lab techs that would run the simple DNA tests, man, but lets just leave that for now) would do with the DNA sample? Construct some sort of Jim Morrison clone?? Develop a Jim Morrison and Wombat mutant hybrid army to take over the world?? Seriously…we are talking about a simple test here.
Secondly, because you are paranoid about some mysterious thing that ‘scientists’ may or may not do with Jimmy’s DNA, why would he be? If he is in fact the real Mr. Mojo Risen this would be conclusive proof that he is who he says he is. For that matter his freaking finger prints, available to his wife on his morning glass of prune juice would be enough to make the claim at least partially credible. Or could the ‘scientists’ do something weird and alarming with is finger prints too??
Do you see how your entire story falls apart here? I mean, if this were the 70’s then it might be at least partly credible that the guy could be Jim Morrison (except they had finger prints then too). But today we have modern ways of conclusively demonstrating whether this is true or not. The fact that this guy does not want to avail himself to any of them but, instead, picks you to be his messiah to get the word out to the 5 or 6 loony ‘loyal fans’ that are still out there awaiting the second coming should speak volumes about the credibility of this story.
-XT
The scientists could hybridize Jim Morrison’s DNA with that of a wooly mammoth, ending up with a giant prehistoric creature that sings “Break On Through” and potentially cleaning up on live concerts, assuming you could adequately reinforce the stage.
C’mon xtisme, you’re not even trying here.
Jim Morrison had to fake his own death and change his identity because he was in on the murder of Jimi Hendrix and the OP was going to find him out.
Personally I much prefer the idea that Morrison was killed in a bar fight and the bathtub stuff was staged to cover up the bar fight.
If only there were some way to obtain the real Jim Morrison’s fingerprints! What a shame there’s no reason for them to be on record.
The funniest part of this whole preposterous story is the implication that Krieger and Manzarek are in on the conspiracy. Ray Manzarek, no disrespect intended, is one of the biggest hucksters in rock ‘n’ roll, who has been milking the Morrison legend for everything it’s worth for lo these many years. If Morrison turned out to be alive, Manzarek would jump over his own grandmother’s grave to get back onstage with him and be part of the biggest resurrection story since Jesus.
I had a cousin who worked in a coroners office in southern California who insisted Bud Abbott faked his death in 1974. He said Abbott actually died in 1978 and that’s how he found out about it. An investigation revealed Abbott had a life insurance policy that had an age cap of 80 years old. Abbott had been battling prostate cancer since 1972, but his prognosis was allegedly fair. Abbott feared that if he lived past 80 his family would not get the 500K his policy was worth. So with the help of a family friend doctor he faked his death. Being in his late 70’s and having had cancer nobody questioned the death.
I have found nothing about this ridiculous story online. And I couldn’t question my cousin on it again if I wanted to. He was killed in a car accident in 1983.
Or was he?
Larry King is interesting in that he died in 1989 and for the past 22 years has successfully faked being alive. I wonder which is harder.
I hope it’s not frowned upon to give links to the Onion, but this. Though I always mentally substitute Manzarek’s name there, instead of Keieger’s.
I made this half-Jim Morrison half-wombat monster to please you
But I get the feeling you don’t like it
What’s with all the screaming?
You like wombats
You like Jim Morrison
Maybe you don’t like monsters so much
Maybe I used too many wombats
Isn’t enough to know I ruined a Jim Morrison making a gift for you?
(With apologies to Jonathan Coulton [Who is way better than Jim Morrison as a lyricist {But I digress (And I use too many parentheses)}])
He’s like Weekend at Bernie’s or Psycho, except that either of those are funnier and more interesting.
