Is that… a Scotsman trying to fit in in South Central?
To review applications from aspiring writers is to swim in a sea of irony without a lifejacket.
The letter I’m printing below, exactly as received, is framed and on my wall as a fine example of the genre:
hello
my nae is bassma
and i wanted to ask about how to send like a piece or something?
i’m 20 years old and kind of “dont know how does that work”
but i think that i can write…so i wanted to try sending you something
hoping to be answered back
and a little explaination of how i can apply will help me
thank you very much
It’s poetry, really.
I have a couple of email accounts, lynnbodoni and granitasmithdott, both at Hotmail. The granitasmithdott is the name of an old game character, and I use it for any sort of commercial business…for instance, if I register for something, and I’m not dead certain that I won’t get spam, I use the GS name.
I don’t have a paid email address that I check regularly. I think I have a charter.net address, but my husband is always threatening to switch ISPs, so I never use it. The beauty of the Hotmail accounts is that I can carry them from one ISP to another.
It was the SexyMcHottie part I didn’t like. It struck me as unprofessional…and there’s no way I wanted any email from my work account to SexyMcHottie. I have no objections to hotmail, yahoo, etc.
I have 3 paid email addresses. 2 of which I forward to my gmail address (my main address). My ISP webmail server is a bitch to get in Yemen, but gmail works fine which is why I got that address.
Any resume gets sent with the gmail address. firstname.lastname@gmail.com. They already have your resume so why use an anonymous address?
My paid ISP address break out as follows: 1 for friends and family that is like my gmail address. One for online business that is a shortened version of the first name last name bit, but that won’t bother me to change if need be. And the last one is for the, uh, more unsavoury sites on the web that would probably generate lots of spam.
You should see some of the resume’s I get in Yemen.
“I am looking for a job that <pasted description from job posting>”
Multiple copies of the same resume with different names on the top of it.
Qualifications that would make Doogie Howser envious. eg. A Master’s in computer design. Age 22. Applying for an entry level position as a workstation tech.
What’s so bad about this? I hate hate HATE it when I’m told I’m “overqualified” for a job I apply to. I want to shake them and say, “have you read the newspaper lately? Do you really think I’ll ‘get bored’ with the job market in this state?”
I’d expect someone with a Master’s to be older than 22, so I’d wonder if maybe the applicant was less than completely honest about his or her qualifications.
Really? 22/23 doesn’t seem at all unusual for a Master’s if you went straight from undergrad to grad school. I have several friends who finished their masters at 22.
Sorry OP, but I am about to become one of these idiots. I’ve tried unsuccessfully to get a better job for the last three years by only utilizing the communication methods suggested by the employer. You know how many call backs I’ve gotten from filling out what I estimate to be around 500 online applications? One, and I didn’t get the job.
Well, I’ve had enough of it. I am almost done with a Master’s degree in Criminal Justice and I still work for $9 / hr and have had enough of it. I’m going to call, I’m going to fax, hell I might even just show up at your office until someone acknowledges that I am a competent and hard working human being who really really really wants to make enough money to actually responsibly raise a family. I turn 25 in a month and am fucking sick of working with people just graduating high school.
Are you free at 10AM, or should I stop by at 11?
Speaking of first impressions:
Just ran across this on a job site…
Yes… yes you do.
Coming straight from this thread to that job listing made me laugh out loud. 
That cracked me up at my last job, actually.
My boss hated people calling concerning job apps. Every time someone made a call he’d go on a rant about how the fact that they did it proved they were idiots. What kind of idiot would CALL? (Yes, when I was gearing up, getting advice, ‘always call’ was a big part of it.)
Now, I wasn’t an idiot (the fact that I didn’t call isn’t proof of it, it just was never an option, given how I applied), so I didn’t argue with him (at the time I still wanted to keep the job, though I regretted that, later), but I always rolled my eyes, a bit.
Also, since we’ve opened it to rants from the interview table…one thing I’ve come to hate is when requirements for a given job aren’t stated in the ad, or on the app. My last two job interviews, I didn’t find out until the interview that a valid licence was required (and since both were for office work, I wouldn’t have assumed they would be) - once, it was the first question, which lead to ‘sorry, but that’s a requirement’, the other I didn’t find out until after what was a pretty good interview (I got several compliments from the interviewer). (To that second company’s credit, when they relisted the job, they did add a ‘must have a licence’ disclaimer.)
Assuming that they actually have finished their Master’s, would you hire any one of them as a junior, bottom of the barrel, technician’s position that requires at most a technical school qualification?
Don’t be daft. They are either not telling the truth (a lot of these qualifications in the third world are bought, or not worth the paper they are printed on), or they actually have the qualifications and are so overqualified that they’ll expect immediate promotions and raises, or will jump ship at the first opportunity.
My advice to job applicants is to always look out for #1. Don’t be afraid to demand the things you think you deserve, because dammit, they owe you!
Did I mention I got my current job because the first pick shot himself in the foot making special demands?
I have! I got my current job through an online application. I did have two years more experience than they were looking for, but that was because I’d worked part-time on a newspaper through university, and I was still in the category (recent graduates and early-career starters) that they were looking for.
We’ve just gone through the hiring process for another subeditor, and some of the cover letters were awful. My personal favorite was the one which began:
Which didn’t endear him to an all-female production desk even before the errors started!
edit:
Are you talking about recent applications? There probably aren’t any other jobs for them in the current economy, honestly.
FTR, I finished my bachelor’s at 21 would have been 22 with a master’s if I had chosen grad school. I think that’s not unusual.
Masters at 22 is run-of-the-mill in the UK. Last time I checked, we weren’t a third world country, either.
I’m working late and feeling sorry for myself because of it. The above quote has kept me giggling for the last 5 mins. Thanks!
Every job, aside from the present one, I’ve gotten in the last decade has been gained online. Having said that, I only apply for jobs that I really want, and I create each application specifically for the position being advertised.
My favourite one was the girl who referred to herself in the third person, and by her surname.
In fairness, several years ago when a person took the initiative to “go the extra mile” by calling, emailing, or showing up in person, the recruiter took that as a motivated employee and a positive attribute. Today it is seen as being a pain in the ass.
I’m not saying that this is you or your company, but it seems like the message is, “We don’t want to see you as an individual. You are a name on a sheet of paper.” I know that you have hundreds of names to go through, but if the position was that important to you, then you wouldn’t mind chatting with someone who called you on the phone.
No offense, but if you’re serious about hiring someone why do it through Craig’s List? With all the riffraff and scum that post and reply to that site, why look there? You aren’t going to soar with the eagles by running with the turkeys.
Damn, this entire thread, I was thinking “NO ONE has mentioned that the problem might be that you’re posting at CRAIGSLIST?!?!?” and I was beaten to it right at the end.
Seriously… the people looking at the job listings are the same people writing the Rants & Raves. These are not people I want to know, let alone work with.
Poor MacTen never could find someone to accept him. His practice of making haggis with chitlins and hog maws probably didn’t help, though, but he could tag his tartan without using stencils!