The office manager left for another job and I’m left fielding questions about the open position and taking applications. This wouldn’t be a problem, if only applicants would remember a few basic rules:
If it says apply in person, don’t call me to ask me if you have to apply in person.
If you call for directions, don’t tell me you “had no idea that you guys were there.” That doesn’t impress me with your observational skills. Our company has been here for 20 years. Don’t ask me for information about the company. Do your research. That’s part of your job as an applicant.
Don’t hang your arms and head through the receptionist’s window. I can see and hear you just fine. And, as a corollary:
Shower before coming and hanging your arms and head through the receptionist’s window.
The position requires telephone skills. If you can’t speak in a reasonably polite tone when you want something from me (like a job), I’m going to guess that you can’t do it when you are talking to customers.
I do not know what a “papper shreddar” is. I do not know what a “compter” is. I do not know what a “coypeer”! is. I do not think we have a facks machine.
If you leave the application blank, you will not get the job. If you tell me that you are only applying so that you can keep your unemployment benefits, I will tell that to any official who asks. None ever have, but there’s a first time for everything.
I don’t want to know any personal details about you. I realize that working at home is apparently ruining your marriage and that there’s some significance to the number of children you have currently. But that won’t help you answer my damned phones.
To the girl who said we can only call her if we’re going to hire her, we can’t interview unless we call. We can’t hire unless we interview. We aren’t permitted to call. So we won’t.
If you have that much trouble getting here between 9 and 5 while only living 1/2 mile away and being currently unemployed, what’s going to happen when it’s your job? Don’t force me to think bad things about you. I don’t want to.
SHOWER BEFORE COMING.
Since I already told you that the decision maker isn’t in today, no you can’t see her. She’s very short. You may never see her.
Do not leave used tissues on the chairs in the vestibule.
Do not attempt to use a former employee who was fired for stealing as a reference.
To everyone else: I regret we have only one position open. You seem like nice people. Best wishes.
Julie
I used to work for an internet jobs website. Very rarely, as a test, we would post an unrealistic job on the live site to confirm stuff was working.
These jobs would have “TEST! TEST! THIS JOB IS A TEST. DO NOT APPLY” all over them. They’d also have insanely unrealistic requirements, like a PhD in astrophysics and ten years experience as a McDonald’s burger flipper. They’d also never be there for more than about an hour before being delisted.
Each time we got anywhere from 20 to 50 applications.
I can’t imagine what these people were thinking. I can’t imagine how they even found the jobs in the search engine.
We also got a lot of emails from people asking if they were on the jobs blacklist, even though no such thing exists.
There’s no need for a blacklist. People manage to disqualify themselves quite effectively without any help.
Sheesh! With even college-degreed people out looking for any kind of work nowadays, one would think you’d get a much better caliber of applicants. Any out of work Dopers in your area? At least you know they can spell, read and write and presumably answer a telephone.
Those are the folks who are sent away for being “over-qualified”. :rolleyes:
I interviewed with a large company that did dirty, industrial route sales. The guy who interviewed me asked me (rather snarkily, to boot!), “Why would a guy with a college degree want to drive one of our trucks?”. I said, “Well, your starting salary is more than I make right now, and with my degree, I’d be your boss in about 6 months.” I got offered the job, but took something else.
We’ve had a couple of over-qualified applicants. We most likely won’t be hiring them. Why? Because the job we have available has no opportunity for advancement and is completely unchallenging. We want to hire people who intend to make a career of simple office work. It costs us less in both time and money than it would to rehire every six months.
I work in a café half of the time as a manager and the other half of the time as a normal cashier (not enough hours for me to be full-time.) As one of the managers, I have a say in who gets fired and hired. In fact, after my boss, I have the most say and have been responsible for getting people more hours or getting people fired. I have the least tolerance of any of my manager co-workers for incompetence.
Anyway, sometimes when I am a cashier, someone will hand in an application and be completely rude to me. They’ll demand to talk to the manager when he or she is currently busy or they will hound me about when they’ll get a call-back.
Their application goes in the trash as soon as they leave. I don’t care how qualified you are, if you want to work in the service industry, you have to at least be polite.
Particularly for internet listings, read the f***ing ad!! Don’t send a resume saying you’re looking for a sales job when we advertised for a graphic designer, or one that shows 15 years of engineering work when we’re looking for a receptionist. The carpet bombing might help you at some point, but you’re damned sure not going to get a job here.
If the posting has a section listing “minimum requirements,” make sure you have those before you apply. No, your B.A. in Communications is not an acceptable substitute for a degree in Industrial Design; knowing someone who can “show you a couple things” about AutoCAD is not the same as having used it in a work evironment; and just because we are a company whose products have a marketing purpose doesn’t mean that a Marketing degree can help you get any job here.
However, I’ve found that I’ve had job interviews for positions even though I didn’t meet all the minimum requirement (I did, however, meet most of them).
The way I look at it is, if I don’t apply, then I definitely did not get the job. If I apply and they don’t think my skills are up to snuff, then all I’ve lost is the time it took me to write up the cover letter.
I don’t apply for jobs that are completely out of my skillset, but I’ve never let the fact that I didn’t meet all the requirements stop me.
It’s important to note that although jsgoddess’ companies’ ads may be spot-on, many firms that write ads have no idea what in hell they are doing. I say if it looks close to what you have done/can do, go for it.
Don’t ask me to mail you an application. You want the job, get your lazy ass in here and pick up an application.
Don’t ask me for a pen to fill out the application once you do arrive. It’s called being prepared. Bring your own damn pen. And it better be blue or black ink. Neon green does not scream “professional” to me.
Show up on time (if not early) for the interview. I have told the receptionist if they show up late, tell them I am in a meeting and will call them to reschedule. (Yeah, right.) Of course, if they call and tell me they have a flat tire, I will cut some slack.
When I call and offer you an interview, and you find out where we’re located, don’t say “Oh, that’s too far for me to drive.” That’s of no concern to someone who drives 60 miles round trip daily. If you bothered to send in your resume or drop off your application, you knew how far it was then. Don’t waste my time if you don’t want to make the trek on a daily basis.
There was an article in the paper recently from an HR professional. She gets a lot of resumes via email. She stated her first culling method was to ignore applicants with “unprofessional” email addresses.
Evidently she was recieving a fair number of posts from addresses like
I work as a baker in a cafe located in our public library. MY boss just showed me an application, part of which is, of course, the listing for one’s last three jobs.
Under position, in the last two jobs, “fast food” was listed, and the reason for leaving, for both jobs, was “couldn’t handle it” The job before that was pizza delivery, and the reason for leaving was “I didn’t want to ruin my car.”
Ok, I’ll meet you halfway. How about you design your posting so that you a) leave room for someone that may know what the hell they’re doing, but not have a degree. I’ve been doing my job for 14 years, I’m sure I’m easily equal to someone with a BS, and 2 years experience.
and
b) know what the hell you’re typing for requirements. I can’t count the number of times when I’ve seen a posting that has a requirement that isn’t even possible, as what they’re looking for hasn’t been around long enough for someone to have that qualification, and 6 years experience.
I think that’s pretty silly. If it’s a problem that a qualified applicant has an unprofessional email, they can very, very easily set up another one. And it’s not like they’d necessarily even use their email for their job anyway.
That’s not really the issue, though. Listing your email on a resume as ‘littlenasty1@hotmail,com’ is just as unprofessional as showing up to get an application or for an interview in cutoff jeans and a halter top. Even if you’re a good worker, it gives the opposite first impression of what people are looking for in most jobs.