I think The Onion says everything that needs to be said in this thread.
Hahahaaaaaa! Oh, Onion. I love you.
Because you don’t make a speech for yourself. It is intended for an audience and you’ve not done your job as the speaker if you’re a rambling mess, consistently tell in-jokes that the majority of your listeners won’t understand, go on and on about things that are irrelevant to the topic(s) at hand and are an incredible bore. Good grief. They teach that in like 6th grade when you have to give a report to the class. And this isn’t just leveled at poor Jodi, whom I like, but anyone who tackles public speaking. If all you’re about is humorist or applauding yourself, get a room and a mirror.
Pro tip: It’s also considered a Bad Thing if people walk away from you more embarrassed about your performance than anything else. Always, that’s a good indicator that you did something enormously wrong.
Are the people at The Guardian related to her? Sleeping with her? Something? Because that’s the only way that article could be taken seriously. 
What a load of bollocks to obscure a major misstep.
I had to go back and watch the YouTube version because friend told me about her statement to her mother. My dad had dementia. I cried. It was touching.
Well, we’ll disagree on that. Especially when it comes to entertainment awards. I didn’t find the speech any less entertaining than the typical award acceptance speech, which would be very low on the scale anyway.
:eek: Who will break the news to poor John Hinckley, Jr.?! 
Wait, she’s single? Awesome! … oh, wait…
Agree to disagree?! How dare you! This is unheard of on the SDMB. We should fight!! 
Trying to come up with some kind of “lesbian/beaver” joke here…
Fight! Fight! Fight! 
Yup.
“Secret to keeping your psyche intact”??? How about crying yourself to sleep on a mountain of money large enough to ensure that your kids and grand kids can afford all the education, health care, and comfort they could possibly desire. Foster’s estimated net worth is 100 million dollars.
It struck me as a moment where her mask slipped just a little. I think that’s very honest and real and human. And, after that many years in show business, I think she’s allowed. After all, lets see what was going on all at once:
50th birthday.
Recognizing she’ll never be in front of the camera or on stage in her chosen profession again, and that this speech was her ‘before the camera’ swan song.
Starving & working hard just to wear that dress & look good.
Having a parent with Alzheimers, where she’s always going to have to be ‘on-call’.
Trying to keep her private life private after 47 years of papparazzi harassment.
Trying to make a statement about her sexuality: “its private, as everyone else’s is.”
Being the hero that other actresses look to and keeping to ‘the higher standard’. Every. Day.
Raising kids during the midst of all that nonsense (like thats easy alone) and having them there watching.
Speaking unscripted on Network TV where every nervous moment is captured & replayed, like a bad restaurant meal on ‘Frasier’.
Any three of the above would cripple most people during a public speech. Look, I’ll admit I’ve liked some of her work (the pool table angles in “Little Man Tate” showing thought process were brilliant) but I’m no fan-boy.
If I was standing next to her, she’d probably tell me to eff-off. But she still deserves a pass on this one.
I’m really sorry, I just can’t get worked up for a fight over this. I’m sincerely sorry, I feel like a piker. I promise that next time we disagree I’ll break out a strident, raging, and incoherent argument to defend my incomprehensible position. Again, my apologies for just letting this one go.
Bullshit. She backtracked the retirement talk literally seconds after her speech was over. It was a poor choice of words in trying to relate she was entering the “next phase” of her career, not some kind of grand statement.
Bullshit. When you have enough money for personal trainers and cooks and don’t have to work a 9-to-5 job to ensure your continued monetary survival you have time to ensure you can fit into a fancy dress.
Bullshit. See above. Foster is ridiculously wealthy and it’s admirable that she spends a lot of time by her mother’s side. But she isn’t “on-call” the way most people with ill parents are.
Bullshit. She chose to make the statement at the same time she’s complaining about her privacy being invaded.
Bullshit. Even now that she’s single, she’s not “doing it alone.”
Bullshit. Foster knew about this award for months. Her speech was no more “unscripted” than the State of the Union.
When I was in college, 'way back before teh Intranets, there was a much-handed-around joke letter on White House stationery, supposedly written by President Reagan to John Hinckley Jr. Reagan said that he had forgiven his wannabe assassin, hoped for his full psychological recovery, wished him and his family well, etc., and then ended with, “By the way, did you know that Walter Mondale is fucking Jodie Foster?”
Good times…
Justin, you missed one.
Her birthday was in November.
You forgot the bullshit.
Check your pocket.
*
MMMMMAGIC!!!*
Alright. I’ll let it go this time. But I’m watching you. {Makes fingers pointing at eyes gesture}
Just trying to be nice.