Jokes that take time to sink in

[Scarlett67]

@Nature's Call

Two drums and a cymbal fall out of the window…
Ba dum, pshhhh!

This is my new favorite joke, superseding the longtime champ “So this horse walks into a bar . . .”

Thanks! Something new to torment the friends and family . . .

[ILovCoffee]

@Left Hand of Dorkness

This one REALLY needs to be told out loud.

The three brothers had at last been given the ranch by their father, who was growing too old to run it. So they built a new barn, ran wire around additional pasture land, and installed a state-of-the-art holding pen for the cattle to fatten them for slaughter.

With all these changes, they decided the ranch needed a new name. So they asked their father for advice.

He thought about it all day, and finally told them, “You should call it Focus.”

“Focus?!” they said. “What kind of name is Focus?”

“Simple,” he answered. “It’s where the sun’s rays meet.”

Hmmm, said it aloud to my husband-the smartest jokester I know-now both of us are sitting here doing the doggie-head-tilt thing with our brains saying, “click, whrr, click whrr, click whrr.”

Unless the son’s are all named Ray or their surname is Ray it does not make sense and is not amusing.

[AncientHumanoid]

@ILovCoffee

Hmmm, said it aloud to my husband-the smartest jokester I know-now both of us are sitting here doing the doggie-head-tilt thing with our brains saying, “click, whrr, click whrr, click whrr.”

Unless the son’s are all named Ray or their surname is Ray it does not make sense and is not amusing.

Where the sons raise meat.

[JustAnotherGeek]

@ILovCoffee

Hmmm, said it aloud to my husband-the smartest jokester I know-now both of us are sitting here doing the doggie-head-tilt thing with our brains saying, “click, whrr, click whrr, click whrr.”

Unless the son’s are all named Ray or their surname is Ray it does not make sense and is not amusing.

It’s where the sons raise meat.

[AncientHumanoid]

I meant to spoiler box it! (reported to mod already, thanks)

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

Exactly. It ain’t the world’s funniest joke, but I find the punchline quietly satisfying: it’s a triple pun in which each word has a double-meaning with, more interestingly, two different parts of speech. Very elegant.

Okay, I’m a mega-nerd.

Here’s another one. I may have heard it on this board. Have you heard that Goebbles and Himmler always tried to keep Hitler away from the bars? Apparently, he was a mean drunk.

Daniel

[Daylate]

“Focus?!” they said. “What kind of name is Focus?”

“Simple,” he answered. “It’s where the sun’s rays meet.”

Like I said, it needs to be told aloud. Lots of folks don’t get it ever.

Reader’s Digest June 1942

[chacoguy]

It took ten years for that joke to soak in.

[Left_Hand_of_Dorkness]

@chacoguy

It took ten years for that joke to soak in.

Best delayed reaction ever!

[USCDiver]

@Daylate

Reader’s Digest June 1942

Best user name ever for Zombie Resurrector!

[AHunter3]

More like DecadeLate, ain’t ya?

[Tibby]

Some jokes take a moment or two to sink in, like:

Joke Teller: *Did you hear about that case of the diabetic patient with the gangrenous leg who’s inebriated surgeon amputated the wrong leg?
*
Joke recipient : No, what happened?

Joke Teller: Well, the poor fellow’s other leg eventually fell off. He sued the surgeon for malpractice, but the case was thrown out of court.

Joke recipient: …Why?

Joke Teller: The judge told him he didn’t have a leg to stand on.

Other jokes are even more obvious, but there’s always a couple people of dubious intellect who don’t get it right away, like:

Two guys are walking down the street when a one-eyed girl with a parrot on her shoulder passes by. The one guy say’s to the other, “that gal’s a real humdinger.”

It always amazes when those mental midgets actually admit it took them a while to get the joke, or even more embarrassingly, that they didn’t get it at all! :rolleyes:

[Derleth]

@Don_Draper

Okay, this one has to be said out loud for maximum effect, and perhaps practiced a few times since it tends to be a bit of tongue twister…

On a hot day in August in British Columbia, a grizzly bear is romping near the outskirts of a small hamlet community and decides to pop into the local saloon for a drink. He lumbers through the door, and at that time of day the only two people there are the bartender and a boozy chain-smoking floozy.

Bear: I’ll have a draft beer please.

Bartender: I’m sorry, we can serve you.

(snickers from the floozy.)

Bear: Why not?

Bartender: Well, y’see, B.C. By-laws Ban Bears from Buying Beers in Bars.

Floozy: Aheh heh heh, y’stupid bear!

Bear: Gimme a break pal, it’s feels like it’s 90 degrees celsius outside, and I got this fur coat I can’t take off. Can’t you cut me some slack?

Bartender: Look, I feel for you, but B.C. By-laws Ban Bears from Buying Beers in Bars, end of story.

Floozy: Ahahahah, dumb bear!

At this point, the frustrated & overheated bear loses his temper and violently assaults the floozy. He messily rends her limb from limb and devours her in her entirety.

Bear: Wow, after that meal I really need a drink. How about it buddy?

Bartender: I’m not going to tell you again - B.C. By-laws Ban Bears from Buying Beers in Bars, and to top it off, now you’re on drugs.

Bear: Are you nuts? I’m a BEAR! I don’t take drugs.

Bartender: Oh yeah? What about that Bar Bitch You Ate???

Well, only because she had to pee…

Ill-Considered Products:

MSG-Free Ketchup

Matoke for the Seriously Depressed

HFCS-Free Fruit Juice

[Kamino_Neko]

I’ve gotten every joke in this thread, except the OP and Derleth’s post resurrection one. Li’l help.

Assuming, of course, I’m correct in that not getting Tibby’s second joke is the joke.

[cochrane]

@Tibby or Not Tibby

Other jokes are even more obvious, but there’s always a couple people of dubious intellect who don’t get it right away, like:

Two guys are walking down the street when a one-eyed girl with a parrot on her shoulder passes by. The one guy say’s to the other, “that gal’s a real humdinger.”

It always amazes when those mental midgets actually admit it took them a while to get the joke, or even more embarrassingly, that they didn’t get it at all! :rolleyes:

Color me embarrassed. I don’t get it.

[Tibby]

@cochrane

Color me embarrassed. I don’t get it.

Don’t be embarrassed. We can’t all be Nobel Prize laureates…nor understand the definition of “color.”

[Totenfeier]

@Improv_Geek

[…]

What do you call that show? [beat] The Aristocrats!

It doesn’t take a while for that joke to sink into you; it takes a while - a good while - for you to sink into that joke. If you do it right!

[Velocity]

@Tibby or Not Tibby

Two guys are walking down the street when a one-eyed girl with a parrot on her shoulder passes by. The one guy say’s to the other, “that gal’s a real humdinger.”

It always amazes when those mental midgets actually admit it took them a while to get the joke, or even more embarrassingly, that they didn’t get it at all! :rolleyes:

Do explain.

[Telemark]

@Kamino_Neko

I’ve gotten every joke in this thread, except the OP and Derleth’s post resurrection one. Li’l help.

Assuming, of course, I’m correct in that not getting Tibby’s second joke is the joke.

I’m pretty sure that’s it.

[Shodan]

@Tibby or Not Tibby

Don’t be embarrassed. We can’t all be Nobel Prize laureates…nor understand the definition of “color.”

Color?
[ul][li]The girl is a pirate, and the “color” is silver, as in Long John Silver, Or[/li][li]“Humdinger” is a reference to a “hummer”.[/li][li]The parrot pecked out her eye somehow. Or[/li][li]This another “no soap, radio” joke.[/ul]Sorry, I am in the position of owning a stag with a white cane. I have no idea.[/li]
Regards,
Shodan