Jokes that take time to sink in

[Tibby]

@JohnGalt

During Spring Break on the beach in Florida I walked past a girl in a wheelchair, sobbing. I asked her what was wrong, and she said, “My girlfriends talked me into coming with them on Spring Break and that it’ll be a wild party. Well, I’ve been here three days and I’ve never been fucked.” I told her I’d be willing to help her, and she readily agreed. So I took her wheelchair and pushed her into the ocean, up to her chin, then I turned around and walked back to the beach. She yells out, “What’s up with this?” I said, “Now you’re fucked!”

Well, that wasn’t a very nice thing to do to that poor girl.

[Kamino_Neko]

Thank you for the explanation, Derleth.

[Isamu]

@Tibby or Not Tibby

Well, that wasn’t a very nice thing to do to that poor girl.

She had only lost the use of her legs. She could still swim back to shore with no problems.

[JohnGalt]

@Isamu

She had only lost the use of her legs. She could still swim back to shore with no problems.

Thank you Isamu - now my conscience won’t be so bothered.

(No, I didn’t really do that…)

[Tibby]

@Derleth

Says the stableboy.

BTW, you told your joke wrong.

She was only a stable-boy’s daughter, but all the horsemen knew her.

I don’t tell *jokes *and I don’t tell them wrong.

[Tibby]

@Tibby or Not Tibby

Two guys are walking down the street when a one-eyed girl with a parrot on her shoulder passes by. The one guy say’s to the other, “that gal’s a real humdinger.”

It always amazes when those mental midgets actually admit it took them a while to get the joke, or even more embarrassingly, that they didn’t get it at all! :rolleyes:

@Velocity

Do explain.

Explanation: I used the term “mental midget” not to disparage midgets, dwarfs or people with microcephaly. I used it as a euphemism for people with sub par cognitive ability (e.g. unable to comprehend obvious jokes). On reflection, realizing some people on this board may fall into that category, and not wishing to offend, I switched to the less offensive, “we can’t all be Nobel Laureates”, meaning you may not be a mental midget for not understanding a joke—you’re just not a mental giant…like me.

[Rigamarole]

@Tibby or Not Tibby

Explanation: I used the term “mental midget” not to disparage midgets, dwarfs or people with microcephaly. I used it as a euphemism for people with sub par cognitive ability (e.g. unable to comprehend obvious jokes). On reflection, realizing some people on this board may fall into that category, and not wishing to offend, I switched to the less offensive, “we can’t all be Nobel Laureates”, meaning you may not be a mental midget for not understanding a joke—you’re just not a mental giant…like me.

You’re seriously just gonna keep doubling down?

[cochrane]

There is nothing more despicable than some smug yahoo who likes to feel superior to other people who don’t get an “obvious” joke and won’t deign to explain it to the “mental midgets,” as he likes to call them. That’s about all I can say since we’re not in the Pit. May your gall bladder be filled with a thousand precious gems.

[Tibby]

@cochrane

There is nothing more despicable than some smug yahoo who likes to feel superior to other people who don’t get an “obvious” joke and won’t deign to explain it to the “mental midgets,” as he likes to call them. That’s about all I can say since we’re not in the Pit. May your gall bladder be filled with a thousand precious gems.

Oh, lighten up. This is a joke thread. I told a real joke (post #132), followed by a non-joke and implied if you didn’t get the joke, you were stupid. Not getting the joke is the joke. Period. Kamino-Neko got it in one in his post #134 spoiler. Did you not read that?

So desperate were you for an explanation for the joke when there is no explanation to offer other than “it’s a non-joke” (which was already correctly guessed by Kamino-Neko), that you resorted to name calling (smug yayoo) and wishing damage to my gall bladder. That seems a bit of an overreaction to me, or perhaps the non-joke accomplished it’s goal.

[Mean_Mr.Mustard]

@Tibby or Not Tibby

Oh, lighten up. This is a joke thread. I told a real joke (post #132), followed by a non-joke and implied if you didn’t get the joke, you were stupid. Not getting the joke is the joke. Period. Kamino-Neko got it in one in his post #134 spoiler. Did you not read that?

So desperate were you for an explanation for the joke when there is no explanation to offer other than “it’s a non-joke” (which was already correctly guessed by Kamino-Neko), that you resorted to name calling (smug yayoo) and wishing damage to my gall bladder. That seems a bit of an overreaction to me, or perhaps the non-joke accomplished it’s goal.

Wow, you really pulled one over on us.

Uhhh…good one.
mmm

[cochrane]

@Tibby or Not Tibby

Oh, lighten up. This is a joke thread. I told a real joke (post #132), followed by a non-joke and implied if you didn’t get the joke, you were stupid. Not getting the joke is the joke. Period. Kamino-Neko got it in one in his post #134 spoiler. Did you not read that?

So desperate were you for an explanation for the joke when there is no explanation to offer other than “it’s a non-joke” (which was already correctly guessed by Kamino-Neko), that you resorted to name calling (smug yayoo) and wishing damage to my gall bladder. That seems a bit of an overreaction to me, or perhaps the non-joke accomplished it’s goal.

You accomplished your goal, all right. What goal that is, I can’t say here.

[Tibby]

@cochrane

You accomplished your goal, all right. What goal that is, I can’t say here.

Exactly the same as the No Soap Radio joke. Nothing more; nothing less.

[cochrane]

Except jokes are supposed to have a point and be funny. If it isn’t, it’s not a joke. It’s some non humorous word salad.

And as for your goal, it was to throw something out there and see what reactions you could get. The forum rules keep me from being more specific.

[Ludovic]

Yeah, the Real Humdinger isn’t even remotely humorous because it isn’t obviously a non-joke, even in retrospect when it “sinks in”. The followup about the word “color”, on the other hand, is fairly obvious, but still not ha-ha funny.

[Tibby]

@Ludovic

Yeah, the Real Humdinger isn’t even remotely humorous because it isn’t obviously a non-joke, even in retrospect when it “sinks in”. The followup about the word “color”, on the other hand, is fairly obvious, but still not ha-ha funny.

I think it was funnier than cochran’s sexist Panama Canal joke.

[kayaker]

I got a text yesterday from a friend that read, “very funny”.

I couldn’t figure out what the fuck he meant. I haven’t even run into him in a while. Then it hit me. The last time I saw him was on February 10, which was Ash Wednesday. I said, “for a minute I thought you were Aaron Neville”. Apparently it took him weeks to figure out what I meant.

[Telemark]

@Ludovic

Yeah, the Real Humdinger isn’t even remotely humorous because it isn’t obviously a non-joke, even in retrospect when it “sinks in”.

The “joke” itself wasn’t funny, but since I assumed it was a Soap, No Radio from the start it was mildly amusing watching people react. I almost felt compelled to join in and comment on how it was a clever play on the recent pirate meme, but I held back.

[Nava]

@Knowed_Out

It’s been 11 years and I finally got this one.

Look at a picture of the 5 of Spades and imagine the naked lady has black hair.

Given the geometry it ain’t the hair that needs to be black.

This one is ancient but there appears to be people who still haven’t heard it:

A plane lands on the US-Canada border. Where do the survivors get buried?

[Tibby]

@Nava

Given the geometry it ain’t the hair that needs to be black.

This one is ancient but there appears to be people who still haven’t heard it:

A plane lands on the US-Canada border. Where do the survivors get buried?

In Canada. I heard they bury people alive there.

[VinylTurnip]

@Telemark

The “joke” itself wasn’t funny, but since I assumed it was a Soap, No Radio from the start it was mildly amusing watching people react. I almost felt compelled to join in and comment on how it was a clever play on the recent pirate meme, but I held back.

I’d place it somewhere between “joy buzzer” and “infanticide.”