Hospital P.A. system announces “Doctor Candiru to Urology”.
An alloy of Germanium and Uranium: Geranium.
From what elements can you synthesise whisky? – Scandium, oxygen, technetium and hydrogen. (Note: If scandium is unavailable, you can substitute sulfur and cobalt for the first two of these)
What is i x infinity? – 8
Hah! Nice.
Perhaps there should be a rule that if you post a joke you have to explain, you come back and explain it a bit later on, so people don’t scratch their heads in puzzlement for all eternity. 62 k a v in a g y w or whatever it was comes to mind.
Two kittens were sitting on a sloping roof and the one with the deeper voice slid off.
Q: What MDX function would you use to retrieve [Product].[All].[Dried Fruit].[Raisins]?
A: CurrantMember
Also, apparently we’ve done this before, in 2004: The very, very bad, obscure and trade-specific joke thread. - Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share - Straight Dope Message Board
I’m probably completely missing the point of this thread, but I’ve never understood what’s supposed to be funny about the joke “The Aristocrats”.
Q. What’s an anagram of “Banach-Tarski”?
A: “Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski”.
Seems like another opportunity to trot out my favourite mathematics joke:
What’s green and commutes? An Abelian grape.
Not especially obscure but:
George W. Bush went on a diplomatic trip to Vietnam. When he returned, he was talking to a bunch of Senators. Sen. MCcain asked,“How was your trip, Mr. President?” Bush replies,“Ok, I guess.” “Just ok, what happened?” “I couldn’t find that Hanoi Hilton I always heard you raving about.”
Anyone who was personally offended by that joke should raise their hand.
Not I.
The Aristocrats! jokes are not about the punchline at all. The object is to make the filthiest joke possible based on a few standard elements. It using involves a family showing their act to a latent agent and then things spin wildly out of control with every bit of debauchery that someone can think up. The punchline is just a bit of irony that denotes that the whole awful thing is truly over. I think they are hysterical when done well.
Try this version of it by Sarah Silverman (definitely NSFW). If you still don’t think that is funny, that type of humor just isn’t your thing.
Sicks-Are you a former POW, or are you a Republican? If the former, my apologies.
It was a joke I have to explain…McCain can’t raise his arms above his head. 
The other day on The Daily Show Seth Macfarlane mad a Kobayashi Maru refence which was completely lost on John Stewart.
(I chuckled)
Anyone who gets this joke does so as they’re walking away: Did you hear about the plastic surgeon who hung himself?
I’m assuming it’s based on Cockney rhyming slang, but I can’t figure out the punchline
One magician is talking to another:
“Did you see those Alex Elmsley DVD’s?”
“I didn’t see the third one, but I saw the first one twice.”
A skeleton walks into a bar and says, “Gimme a beer and a mop!”
(That may have only been obscure because my dad was the one to originally tell it, so mom and I were trying to figure out how it was racist.)
Old MacDonald had a Liber Usualis
E-U-O-U-A-E…
- walks away *
Nope, still don’t get that one. Man, this thread is full of personal fail.
“What did you do to the cat?” Mrs. Shroedinger asked her husband. “Poor thing looks half-dead.”