Two nuns are in a communal shower. One looks over at the other and says ‘Where’s the soap?’ The second one replies, 'It sure does, doesn’t it?
The second nun thinks the first nun says ‘Wears the soap!’ as in ‘This vigorous rubbing between my legs sure does wear the bar of soap down.’ Like I said, it is a real joke, just an overly complicated and not very good one.
Ya know, I actually speak German pretty well, and that one went right past me. :smack:
Thanks.
I was asking about the one with the nuns in the shower.
My favourite (and I learned it here on the Dope):
Q: What does the middle initial in Benoit B Mandelbrot’s name stand for?
A: Benoit B Mandelbrot
Close, but it’s not to do with all dried fruit products that aren’t raisins. CurrentMember() is an actual MDX function that returns the current member of a hierarchy as you are traversing it. The jokes doesn’t really make all that much sense when analysed to death (like most jokes here) because you’d never actually use CurrentMember() to return a specific item like [Product].[All].[Dried Fruit].[Raisins] - the pun on the word current/currant is about all there is to explain here.
Note that this thread is not titled “Good jokes you’ll have to explain”. 
Well, I was kinda hoping that posting the ones I got would get people to explain the ones I didn’t. I figured out the urology one after looking it up*, but I still don’t get the one about “Focus” and raising meat. My guess is that it’s a masturbation reference, but that doesn’t help me get the joke. I also am not 100% sure I get the magician one. Assumedly the guy does the same tricks a lot or something?
And, as for the new one: of course the Mandelbrot joke is similar to the “Banach-Tarski,” just focused on recursion this time. Fractals are recursive.
*Read this Straight Dope column.
I didn’t just overthink it, I totally missed it. And what sucks is that I’ve heard it before, but forgot.
Sun’s rays meet.
The joke, again:
Alex Elmsley developed the Elmsley Count, a technique for displaying a set of cards to your audience in such a way that one of the cards is not shown. This involves displaying one of your cards twice, in place of the hidden card.
As the flight from Warsaw approached New Jersey, the pilot announced to the passengers: “ladies and gentlemen, if you’ll look out the windows to the right, you’ll see the Statue of Liberty.” As the passengers scrambled over to take a look, the plane suddenly became unstable, spun out of control and crashed.
The accident report listed the official cause as “too many Poles in the right half-plane.”
[spoiler]in control system theory (a branch of engineering/mathematics), there is a method for assessing the stability of a complex control system called the Nyquist stability criterion. Through various mathematical transformations a 2-dimensional plot is developed which, if it shows a preponderance of certain features (“poles”) to the right of the origin, reveals the system as fundamentally unstable and in need of modifications to make it stable.
It seemed funnier when I was taking a class on automatic controls theory.[/spoiler]
I remember from Process Control that a system is stable if it does not circle the -1 point.
I learned a similar one through an old Straight Dope column (reprinted in one of the books):
What does the H stand for in Jesus H. Christ?
Haploid.
Did you and I have the same prof? Because mine told that one, too. And it was incredibly obscure the first time. 
But you got to give him credit-35 years later I still remember and chuckle at a joke that I can’t explain to anyone I know!
Diagram of a converging lens, if you’d like a visual.
This one I remember from college Physics. The professor drew a picture of a caterpillar laying on its back with its legs in the air, and the eyes were crossed out. She said you would call this an erg because it’s a dyne centimeter.
An erg is the amount of work done by a force of one dyne exerted for a distance of one centimeter. Dyne sounds like dyin’.
You can’t tell a kleptomaniac a joke.
They take things literally.
Part 2.
Cop searches car.
‘Hey! Do you know you’ve got a dead cat in your trunk?’
‘Well, I do now!’
I sort of remember a chemistry riddle about what you get when you split a BaNa[sub]2[/sub] molecule?
One of my bumper stickers: “Quilters do it in the ditch.”
Dyslexia is it’s own drawer.
Might not be so bad in print, but I always have to explain this one when I tell it.