Do judges for the most part use standardized criteria formulas for most of their decisions? Or is it a lot more arbitrary?
I’m sure it varies by jurisdiction. In Washington State the amount of spousal maintenance (fka Alimony) is set by formula. There’s a presumption about how custody will be shared. There is a presumption that assets will be split 50/50. Things can get modified, usually by agreement, but sometimes by court order. Because “fault” for the break up is no longer an issue, dissolution cases are almost never brought to an actual trial. When they are it’s usually because of a disagreement over the value of assets. (if each party gets half of the assets, it’s important to know the value of the fishing charter service the couple owns) I assume in Washington the parties can ask for a jury trial on questions like that, or just go with a judge.
Also in Washington. My ex asked for spousal maintenance when we divorced plus she knew she would get a chunk of my pension and 401K. My attorney came up with a plan that would cover both items and not cost me a fortune. Technically she did not meet the requirements for me to pay spousal support (she had a work history). Instead I paid her a monthly amount for 5 years and she agreed to not go after the pension and 401K. I told her it would be years before she saw any of that, she wanted the money now. The judge thought I was being generous and agreed to the plan. She got paid and I retired a few years ago with my entire pension and 401K.
Well played. I had a similar situation with my divorce. I suggested joint physical custody for my 2-year-old daughter, and my ex refused and said I could set the child support amount to what I wanted if I gave up on joint custody. I set child support to $400 a month, which was significantly lower than what the court would have awarded her if she fought it, and the judge went for it. Saved me a lot of money in the long run. We each kept our 401ks, and neither of us had a pension.
I used to support an HR department, and I was talking to one of the women who handled our QDROs (Qualified Domestic Relations Orders). One guy had six ex-wives, and this woman joked that he was never gonna retire.
But did you have to give up joint custody of your daughter? If so, I’m not sure that you came out ahead.
I maintained joint legal custody of my daughter and had her every other weekend, which was typical back in the day. I gave up joint physical custody for a lower monthly child support payment.