July 4 cookout delimna: my wife always gets sick

In My Humble Opinion
1

Every Memorial Day, July 4, and Labor Day my MIL and FIL very kindly invite us for a cookout with doggies or burgers. Even Fathers Day, my FIL insists on just having hot dogs on his grill despite insistence on us buying him a dinner at a restaurant.

Sounds like Easy Peasy so far right?

One problem: afterwards my wife ALWAYS gets a stomach issue every time we do this. Even this past Fathers Day I had stomach issues, but not as severe as the Missus who missed work the next day (not the first time). This is just not my FIL. We used to often visit a local restaurant that grilled all the food, and my wife got sick after each visit, included the last time missing work for a day again.

We have a theory: food cooked with propane is making her ill.

Now we once again have an open invitation by my wonderful ILs for a July 4th cookout. My wife has already broached that she cant handle propane prepared foods and one or two times we tried something from the kitchen with no issues, but not without a comment or two from our IL that cant have a cookout because of my wife etc etc.

FUCK THAT.

I told my wife recently: no more propane grill cookouts, ANYWHERE, even at her parents. I’m not caretaking her on her death bed every time Daddykins makes propane-BacteriaBurgers just to make him happy.

I suggested we do an all charcoal cookout, but apparently my IL have thrown their cooker out. Would it be rude for me to buy one (cheap) and ask they grill their food on that to see if my wife would react better?

My wife suggested she just bring a hoagie while we enjoy doggies and hamburgers on the propane-poop grill, that seems a bummer for her.

I think I can talk my FIL into us just buying him dinner on Fathers Day (a hard sell because hes too proud to accept a free meal) but as for July 4, Labor Day, Memorial Day does anyone have any acceptable alternatives to the Cookout? On top of this, even if there were restaurants that offered some sort of outdoor dining experience, my FIL ALWAYS insists on paying, even though we always insist.

Food festivals? Are there foods that cook better on propane? Or should my wife just accept the hospitality, be a good daughter, and just shit her brains out for the next 36 hours and be grateful?:mad::mad::mad:

2

Bring a bucket of fried chicken. She can eat that, it’s cookout-friendly, and goes with all the sides.

3

I second your wife’s proposal. In fact, it’s very similar to what I would do (I’d bring something to share, warning the hosts ahead of time, and if they tried to ban me from bringing something then I’d refuse to bring me); that way we’re still all having the cookout and stuff, but I’m sure to not catch whatever it is that’s making me sick. And if her parental units say anything, hey, they’re her parental units: I’m sure she’s used to dealing with them.

4

Bullshit that it’s the propane. There’s something amiss about their food handling. Are they making the patties with their own bare hands? Do they wash those hands 1st?

True story: couple years ago my mom & dad were grilling dinner. Pork chops, that mom had been marinating for hours, in the fridge as is right & proper. She hands me the platter, I ferry the chops out to dad at the grill, walk back in with the raw-pork-marinade platter, and ask for a clean dish, since the chops won’t take long.

She snorts, gives the raw-pork-marinade platter a brief rinse under cold tap water, and then wordlessly hands it back to me.

Yeah, now tell me that meal would have turned out differently, in terms of gastro-intestinal distress, if charcoal was involved.

5

I like the fried chicken option. If they won’t go for something that you bring (and hey, why not invite others to do the same and make it into a potluck), she can eat before she gets there and say she’s not hungry/she’s on a new diet that doesn’t include whatever is grilled/she won’t eat bbq food because it doesn’t agree with her. Salad is great, thanks. Smile and stick to the story.

6

Ah, food issues…

Your wife’s health is more important than her parents’ ego in my opinion. And they’re having a hissy fit and saying they can’t have a cookout because their daughter gets ill from them just makes them sound like spoiled, self-centered brats.

The way I see there are two choices here:

  1. You and wife go to the in-laws cookout but she eats nothing from the grill.

  2. You and wife don’t go to any more in-law cookouts, period.

There is a special circle in hell for people who insist other people put their health at risk over food to feed their own personal ego/pride/whatever. I also agree with others who have said it has nothing to do with propane but rather with food-handling. Your wife, for whatever reason, is particularly vulnerable to food-borne illness and shouldn’t have to endure illness or missed work for something completely avoidable.

And that business about not accepting a free meal? It’s not about pride, it’s about control.

7

[del]She tells them she’s now vegetarian or vegan.
[/del]
No. They have to accept that she has health issues, regardless of their hurt feelings. Her health comes first.

This reminds me of the thread about people pushing their food onto people who are allergic. Same thing.

8

:eek:

I often see news pieces talking about food safety, and it always seemed patronizing when they remind people not to do things like this, because I just could not fucking imagine doing things like this. I guess those reminders are truly necessary.

OP, I will echo others here in saying that propane ain’t the problem. Either her parents are cross-contaminating the grilled foods they’re serving, or they’re just not cooking the foods to a safe internal temperature. On top of that, apparently they’ve got cast-iron stomachs and your wife doesn’t, and this makes it difficult for them to perceive a problem with their food prep practices.
Switching to charcoal won’t make a shit’s worth of difference here (pun intended).

Have you closely observed how they handle foods for the grill? Are they using a thermometer to check internal temperature? Are they cooking burgers to 160F/well-done? Are they putting them back on a contaminated plate after they pull them from the grill?

Her parents can still have a cookout; they just won’t be grilling for four people. My wife and I regularly grill for just the two of us, so a low head-count does not preclude grilling. If they insist on grilling for more than two people, tell them they can invite whomever else they want, but you and your wife won’t be eating grilled food.

Has your wife made it clear to her parents what the consequences of eating their grilled foods are for her? That it’s not just a matter of a little bit of gas or something but that she is, as you say, shitting her brains out for 36 hours after the cookout?

9

Drop the propane story, and leave the crowd out of your decisions and choices. You don’t owe them an explanation, or involvement come down to it. It’s kind of late now, but something to keep in mind for next time!

Attend the event, make no mention of your suspicions or her complications and then do whatever you think is best.
( It’s not trying to force them to let you buy them dinner instead!)

Imagine if, instead of public conjecture on the causes, and attempts to get them to change their plans, you simply turned up and wife explains she’s been have some digestive issues and isn’t going eat (having eaten before arriving), or she’s been having issues and has decided to go with what she knows will go down easy and has brought her own food! No lengthy explanation required.

I suspect they’d have all happily gotten on board without incident if the waters hadn’t been muddied by blaming the grill/propane, implying it’s maybe their food handling, or attempting to alter their event to suit your needs!

This isn’t that hard, it seems to me.

10

Not that it matters, since the pattern has been established and your wife shouldn’t eat anything that she doesn’t want to eat, but the propane theory appears rather silly. Improper food handling is much more plausible.

11

This theory is almost certainly wrong, and I wouldn’t bring it up anymore if you don’t have to.

If your wife has gotten sick from cookout food, say she’s gotten sick from cookout food and doesn’t feel comfortable eating it.

Bring something to share (fried chicken, hero sandwiches, etc) if the in laws are OK with that, or eat before hand, or bring something just for her.

If they complain, let them know that your wife isn’t going to deal with 36 hours of explosive diarrhea to save them from one uneaten hamburger.

12

I really hate to mention this, but if your wife gets sick every time she has food she knows is cooked in propane it might be psychosomatic. Perhaps one time food that was propane-cooked was handled and/or cooked improperly, and she associates the propane with the illness. I’ve looked online and can’t find anything that would suggest that propane can cause illness.

13

Something else to consider is the fat content of the food. When I had gallbladder issues, extremely fatty foods caused abdominal pain. After it was taken out, extremely fatty foods just cause me to run for the bathroom.
I use lean ground beef when making my burgers and they don’t bother me. If I go to someone’s cookout, I never know what they use and really don’t want to cause any issues by asking so I usually take an immodium before going and another when I get home; which keeps the bathroom runs to a minimum for me.

14

Might also be lighter/starter fluid? I get nauseated at cookouts even when someone is merely just squirting that starter fluid onto charcoal to get it fired up.

15

Hotdogs are typically pre-cooked and loaded with salt. I’d doubt that they’re the issue, *provided *they’ve been ***properly ***stored and handled. In other words, if they’ve been handled and stored properly, you can eat them right out of the package without worry, unless you’re pregnant or otherwise at risk for Listeria.

Unless a propane grill is seriously misadjusted, the byproducts are water and carbon dioxide, neither of which will affect the food.

I guess the question is whether or not your wife has eaten only a hot dog or only a hamburger and got sick from both. In that case, I’d lean toward the condiments/produce/toppings being sketchy, or the meat being stored/handled improperly.

If it was just hot dogs, I’d wonder if something to do with the curing process was causing the issues, such as sodium nitrite.

16

It’s not hard to imagine them being tossed on a plate with raw hamburgers…and then having everything, once cooked, tossed back onto the same unwashed plate.

Possible, if the OP were dealing with charcoal grills (and tossing the food on shortly after lighting said charcoal). But they seem to believe the illness only arises when eating food on propane fired grills, which do not use charcoal or lighter/starter fluid.

17

Rookie.

18

If the question is whether it’s the propane that’s causing her illness, why not buy a cheap charcoal grill (you can get a disposable one) and take it to a local park and give it a go?

If she does get sick (which you seem willing to risk) then you’ll know it’s not the propane. If she doesn’t, maybe it’s the propane or maybe it’s as others have suggested problems with food handling.

19

I would suggest giving her some non-propane cooked food and tell her it was propane cooked to see how she reacts.

20

This is where my thoughts went too. Especially because the OP says “We used to often visit a local restaurant that grilled all the food, and my wife got sick after each visit, included the last time missing work for a day again” and I may be wrong, but I don’t think any place I’ve ever been to that grills the food uses a propane grill. I mean, unless they’re cooking the food outside at the restaurant, that’d be a safety issue.