Opposite-of-rant for the title of this month’s thread, btw 
One of my favorite recently.
Aren’t yours done blooming? I have had any pretties for several weeks now. Granted, the greenery is still nice.
How the hell did they mistake peonies for yard?
Dear sweet little toddler it is one am in the morning and you need to go the fuck to sleep! NOW!
This particular ‘stand’ of peonies finished its bloom last week. The only thing I could think of is that they are in a small fence and the stems that were pulled were outside the fence. According to TheKid who saw it happen, it was the 8 year old who did the actual “weeding”.
Maybe if you played the little darling this…
Ditto, except it’s now two in the morning. Please, little girl, go to sleep! (And I just know that, the minute Lily goes to sleep, Michelle will wake up starving. Murphy schedules stuff like that.)
You know what? I hate you, too. I’ve always known you never really liked me and just sort tolerated me the way so many people do. Even so, I never figured you would stoop this low. No space for me this year? Funny, you’ve got space for all my friends and all these new employees who don’t have my 16 years of experience putting up with all this dumb shit. Maybe you’re mad because I complain. You know why I complain? Because if you don’t know what’s wrong nobody can do fuck all to fix it. I’m not like you. I can’t just sit on whatever it is without saying a word and then make decisions against you behind your back. I have no idea what your actual problem with me is since, apparently, I’m not worth talking to about it. Better to just throw me out like trash.
I hope the little shits you replaced me with make you miserable. I hope they screw everything up for you and embarrass you beyond reason. Fuck you and fuck your event and fuck my replacements ( how many people did you have to get to do all the work I did by myself?) and fuck all the other disrespectful, faithless, backstabbing assholes in my life. You know who you are.
My awesome week just gets awesomer. First I lose my job, next day I’m diagnosed with presumed endometriosis. In which my doctor basically told me due to medication side effects I have to choose between excruciating pain and severe depression. She put me on a continuous birth control and told me I’m not going to feel better for a while. I admire her candor, but said excruciating pain… Yeah that’s happening now.
Well I went out to buy my wife an antique mantle clock. I came home with a new laptop for myself. I explained it had a clock in it.
Welp Geico, you really screwed the pooch on getting me back as a customer. Not only do your rates suck, but your stupid ass refund check got here on the 12th business day (when it was quoted at 7-10 business days). And of course I had called to stop-pay and have it re-issued on the 11th business day. Now I’m going to be stuck at least another 2 weeks without a fucking air conditioner. GIVE ME MY MONEY! Then, kindly eat shit and die.
taking a bow
Me? Well, actually everything’s fine, thank you.
…I’d better run, hadn’t I?
Now that you mention it, being around certain of my relatives DOES make time go slower…
Ok, Tenessee weather, what is up with this shit? I pack lots of lovely sundresses for my vacation and it’s fucking cold out there. It had better warm up soon or we’re gonna have words.
SnakesCatLady I’m sorry about your chilly vacation, but PLEASE don’t scare away this weather! It is utter heaven for this transplanted New Englander. I cannot stand the heat and humidity, and I’m in heaven wearing sweatpants and socks right now. It’s going to be high 70s and low humidity today - couldn’t be more perfect 
Cicero, you love to live dangerously, don’t you?
That depends on whether his wife knew that he was theoretically going to buy her a clock. If she knew, then I hope his will is up to date.
Fucking pine pollen. It’s everywhere. Even my skin itches. I hate spring.
I loved the FARK headline on this;
Pine Semen. You’re soaking in it.
(play on the old Pinesol commercials for those too young)
I thought those were Palmolive dish detergent commercials with Madge the Manicurist.
I can’t imagine soaking in Pine-Sol. :eek:
Grr!! I missed my own 1000th post. I saw it coming yesterday and thought I’d make it a good one, then forgot to pay attention.
On the bright side I did catch my car hitting 100,000k about a month ago. Got a picture of the odometer and everything.
:eek::eek::eek:
There’s a medication that has endometriosis as a side effect??
I mean, that’s just … you can be depressed because your brain chemicals are fucked up, or you can be depressed because while your brain chemicals are held in balance, you’re in pain from the side effect of the chemicals you ingest to keep the brain …
That makes my head hurt. What a hell of a choice.
Could she try you on a different anti-depressant?