Damn. I always come late to these things, I haven’t been keeping up all week, but…
Just today…
(1) valley vet equine catalog (i limit my pet ownership to the canine, thanks)
(1) Geico we-can-save-you-money dealie
(2) AA Advantage airmiles credit card with an outrageous interest rate offers
(1) catalog favorites catalog (never ordered with them before)
(1) 21st century insurance we-can-save-you-money dealie
I could win!
Okay, today I got one item, but this one looks important:
Have you seen Cynthia Britto? She was born in 1986, brown hair and eyes, and was 3’ tall and 60 lbs at age 6. She’s been missing since 1992. 
Apparently, Firestone wants to find her too, since they’re printed on the back. Or perhaps they want me to buy new tires to go look for her with, I’m not sure.
Anyway, just one today.
Just one item addressed to us today, but boy was it a weird one!
MrValley got a mysterious bright orange tube approximately 3" long and 1" in diameter, return address of Dubuque IA (we live in NH).
He said to me, “Do you think this is a bomb?”
I said, “I don’t think they send bombs by presorted bulk rate.”
So we opened it. It contained a car key and a sale flyer for Baker Suzuki of Fitchburg MA. 
I think MrValley should win some honorary stars for Junk Mail Most Closely Resembling a Terrorist Device.
Interesting that you posted that yesterday, because today I got one of those flyers too (for a girl who was 6’ at age 15!). But on today’s flyer, it says “20 years: 1 in 6 missing children reunited with their families”. Given that I think I receive these weekly every Thursday with my bulk mail, that seems like a huge number to me. Does Cecil have a column on these missing kid flyers?
Lily, mine said the same thing: “1 in 6 missing children”, etc.
I don’t know, but I suspect, that the ones found happen soon, and we’re left with a bunch of kids we see over and over again over many years.
Junk Mail can be depressing in more ways than one.
Is this the last day of the contest or will it run through tomorrow? I sure hope the winner enjoys his/her prize pack (valued at over $2.17!).
I never should have bothered with this Derby! You guys are just too good. Yesterday, I got one whopping piece of junkmail - I can get a credit card from Chase!
Unless my mailbox overfloweth today, the only prize I’m going to win is “least amount of junk in a week.”
Nuh-uh … I’ve had *nothing[/i[. 
It’s going to take something pretty damn impressive to beat out Lily’s Key Of Mystery.
I gotta agree that Lily sounds waaaaaaay out in front for the grand prize right now. It will be tough to beat out a bright orange tube that closely resembles a terrorist device.
I’ve been gigglin’ like a pack of Brownies at a Troop meeting over this. 
Tempting as the terrorist device is, I think Hal’s sheer volume for Thursday keeps him as reigning champ.
Day Four: **************** Yay Hal!
As for today, I’ve joined the cool kids - I got an offer from Bank of America, too! And a bill. That’s it. I was so sure I was gonna sweep this week.
UrbanChic, it’ll run through Saturday. I’ll announce the grand prize winner for sheer volume on Sunday, and I’ll probably come up with a few more awards if I feel creative enough. Right now, we’ve got a toss up between the fake bomb and the panties. Decisions, decisions…
It’s a shame those two weren’t combined, that would make it easy…
No, wait, those two probably would NOT be a good thing to combine.
Not a single piece of junk today. Not ONE!
Most interesting junk mail of the week today. One item: LetterMag, an international pen pal magazine courtesy of the German postal service. (I’m a member of the American Association of Teachers of German even though I don’t teach any more…). Is there a prize for international junk mail?
Former homeowner got what I presume is ANOTHER credit card offer (Wilmington DE return address).
And I got a statement for my IRA account.
Woo hoo…
GT
Are the junk mailers on strike? Wouldn’t that be like big honkin’ national headlines? It must be true! Not one stinkin’ piece of junk mail today! Not even one! Why has the weekly, at least, American Express Delta SkyMiles offer forsaken me!?
On the plus side, I got a $2500 bonus check from my secondary employer. See, I have a primary and secondary employer. The primary employer allows this because the secondary employer helps my primary employer remain in business. Ok, remain accredited, which means primary employer can remain in business cause stuff won’t happen without accreditation. So, I had good mail today, just no junk mail.
SNIFF The snail mail spammers of America don’t love me anymore! WAAAAAAH!!!
Three very dull pieces of junk today:
[ul]
[li]Pottery Barn catalog[/li][li]FINAL NOTICE!!!111!! renewal notice for PC Gamer[/li][li]Lance Armstrong’s Livestrong charity begging for money (in a yellow envelope, of course)[/li][/ul]
Woo! Two inna row! (although I think Lily shoulda got Day 4)
Kinda light today…
Day Five Haul:
One (1) postcard from the TriplePlay REALTOR Convention & Trade Expo. Maybe someone should clue them in that my wife is the real estate agent in the family, not me.
Two (2) Pre-approved Household Bank Platinum MasterCard offers. I’m starting to feel like some sort of credit card offer Noah here…
Thursday total: 3 items
Total for the week: 17 items
May I pop in here to offer a credit card solicitation for my youngest sister (who lives in Oregon) sent to my address? Oh, and something from some magazine company who keeps trying to trick me into believing they are acting as agents for my Discover subscribtion renewal. The usual bi-weekly Bed, Bath & Beyond, and the usual daily Comcast internet/digital cable.
Yes, yes there is. It’s certainly more interesting than anything else anyone posted for Friday. Soooooooo:
gardentraveler is the official “Fifth-Day-of-the-Junk-Mail-Derby” winner for July 15, 2005, and is hereby awarded the following stars: ************ for the junk mail that came over an ocean without getting wet.
And unless someone gets a major delivery on Saturday, I think our weekly winner is a given. So we now know who the junkiest Doper is.
The stars coordinate quite nicely with the junkmail.
Is it sad that this is about the best thing that’s happened to me all week? (No, don’t answer that; and yes, it’s been that kind of week.)
GT