The stewardess in a miniskirt a hippie in a leather shirt
I started on the way to Naples Row
While I’m wondering where it’s at I see a Paris diplomat
Call his kids while trying to get back home
Baggage car goes quickly by see my face and start to cry
Stumble to the lounge to be alone
And while I’m trying to get some rest I bite my lips and try my best
To fight the pain that’s making me leave home
LA International Airport…
…Maybe I lost my memory
And just got it back today
Rehearsed in my mind are
Last minute lines
They’re not worth sayin’ I know
What’ll I tell Virginia when I get home from Mexico
I wish I was a Teddy bear
Not livin’ or lovin’
Or a-goin’ nowhere.
I wish I was a Teddy bear
And I’m wishin’ that I hadn’t fallen in love with you.
The most glurge-a-riffic country song ever:
Our D - I - V - O - R - C - E
becomes final today
Me and little J - O - E
will be goin’ away
I love you both and this will
be pure H - E - double L for me
Oh, how I wish that we could stop
this D - I - V - O - R - C - E
Rosa’s was the name of the cantina/cafe/restaurante where she worked.
One of these songs in this thread was written on the back of a Dixie cup. 
Goin thru the Big D, don’t mean Dallas
I cain’t belive what the judge had to tell us
I got the jeep, she got the palace
Why didn’t I just learn how to cook?
Here, you can carry my wallet, I won’t be needin it.
More glurge from Dolly Parton (this song used to creep me out as a kid):
“Jeannie’s Afraid of the Dark”:
Gah! She actually used the phrase “dark stormy night”.
Oh, and Dolly? Unless Jeannie has x-ray vision (which is not likely seeing as how she’s DEAD), SHE WILL NEVER SEE THE ETERNAL FLAME!
He stopped loving her today [cue non-country symphonic violin section]
They placed a wreath upon his door
And soon they’ll carry him away
He stopped loving her
Today.
(The above song makes little sense, IMHO, if you missed the first line of the lyric: “He said I’ll love you 'til I die.”)
Me too, and I find it no less creepy as an adult.
All my ex’s live in Texas,
And Texas is a place I’d dearly love to be.
But all my ex’s live in Texas
And that’s why I hang my hat in Tennessee
or
All my exes drive a Lexus
A Lexus is just a perfect car for me
But all my exes drive a Lexus
I drive a beat up Century
Your choice. 
Um…yeah I know. Joke? Nice screen name though
Countin’ flowers on the wall
that don’t bother me at all
Playin’ solitaire ‘til dawn
With a pack of 51
Smokin’ cigarettes and watchin’ Captain Kangaroo
Now don’t tell me
I’ve nothin’ to do…
She got the gold mine, I got the shaft.
Yeah, they split it all down the middle
And then they give her the better half
Now it all sounds kinda funny (ha ha ha)
But it hurts too much to laugh
She got the gold mine, I got the shaft!
Yeah, it’s glurgy all right–and I bawl like a baby every time I hear it!
You picked a fine time to leave me lucille!
Four hungry Children, not a crop in the field…
and while we’re at it, can you name 3 words that end in gry? hungry is one of them.
Well, I woke up Sunday morning
With no way to hold my head that didn’t hurt.
And the beer I had for breakfast wasn’t bad,
So I had one more for dessert.
Then I fumbled in my closet through my clothes
And found my cleanest dirty shirt.
Then I washed my face and combed my hair
And stumbled down the stairs to meet the day.
and
The judge said son, what is your alibi
If you were somewhere else, then you won’t have to die
I spoke not a word, thou it meant my life
For I’d been in the arms of my best friend’s wife
…are a couple of my old favorites
Well, since this thread has degenerated past the point of any hope of redemption 
, I’ll add:
What do you get when you play a country song backwards?
You get your job back, you get your wife back, you get your truck back, you get your dog back…