That may be all scientific and crap, but I still prefer No. 16, strapping the feline into one of those rotating apple peeler contraptions and turning the crank.
See if you can track down radio excerpts from the “Chicken Lady”. I don’t know her by any other name (sorry) but a local morning radio show calls her occasionally. (no, it’s not a skit). The woman is for real, lives somewhere in the midwest, and listening to her Noble Calling to save chickens, you can’t do anything but let your jaw drop, and stay on the ground.
She’s certifiable. Went on about how she’d save a chicken’s life before a childs etc.
I found a few chicken people “cites” online, but I don’t remember the crazy one’s name (sorry).
http://sfgate.com/cgi-bin/article.cgi?f=/c/a/2005/09/13/BAGP6EMQ951.DTL
http://www.thechickenstore.com/
Eh, I don’t know if I’d go that far…maybe I wouldn’t kill all humans everywhere to save some random animal, but there’s probably no shortage of humans I’d rather let die than my dog. (Random kid on the street? Probably not. Charles Manson? Eh, I’d rather have the old jawless poodle who yells at me.)
I remember this news story about this town where a radio news show got more calls about someone abusing a puppy then calls about someone abusing a child. Anyone know about it?
I’m trying to understand what hairy arms have to do with this. Is this just some gratuitous insult? Is she really hairy, or are you just stereotyping?
It comes across as weakening your rant, because it seems like you were predisposed to dislike her and reject her position, which in turn makes the whole story sound like baiting.
Sailboat
I interned at a news station here in Nashville a few years ago when some fucked up little ogres decided to torture and burn a dog on a grill. It was a horrific story.
We got more hate-filled phone calls about that story than anything we’d run all year. A lot of people said, “I’m never watching your station ever again.” Good for you, and good luck finding a channel that won’t run that story.
I started a pit thread about it and was villified because I pitted people for getting more riled up over a puppy than 1) the actual kids who committed the crime, 2) the murders of innocent people [I noticed the lack of vitriol over the random beating and drowning of a homeless woman years later] and 3) the inane coverage of country celebrity scandals in lieu of real news. I learned a great deal about people’s priorities that summer.
I was thinking hairy arm-PIT, myself. It just seems to go with the rest of the rant.