or. “Why I probaly won’t stop giggling for a week”
Not enitirely sure if this belongs in The Pitt, but…
Just walked in. Busy morning, Classes, plus I had to drive out to Target to get some stuff. This is mostly about that drive.
So I’m driving along in the “Babemobile” on Texas Drive, when some loony in a Toyota T100 makes a right turn onto Texas and clips me.
The Bastard had a stop sign. I didn’t. Rather than pull off to the side of the road on one of the busiest streets in Collegestation, I angryly gesture at him to pull into the parking lot up ahead.
So, we pulled in, and I noticed the guy was even shorter and chubbier than me. Tough noogies. He hops outta his pickup and comes over (holding a bag) shouting “You okay?”
He starts to babble about how he’s sorry, “and here, won’t you just have one of my beers while I pull my insurance outta my glove compartment.”
If you’re thinking “I’ve heard this joke before…” Well, I did too.
I was about to stick it to him, when I noticed a Camaro drive by. The Cops in Prince William county in VA (where I’m from) have unmarked Cameros, so I tend to get wary when I see a Camero with a CB antenna. (Remind me to tell you how I found out they have them one day…)
Sure enough, there’s a cop in it. Mr. Dumbass doesn’t notice, and I say “Sure” I take a beer, while he’s walking over to get his insurance stuff, I make like I’m pulling the cap off and drinking. The Camaro pulls up right next to my , and I see “Brazos County Sheriffs department” in teeny weeny, almost pin-stripe letters on the side. The Cop steps out to ask what’s going on.
Sure enough, Mr. Dumbass comes over and lays out a story about how I wasn’t the one paying attention, and oh by the way, he suspects I’ve been drinking.
Because of my Speach impediment (I was deaf 'til age three, and sound vaguely like a Bostonian) the cop decided it was worth giving me a sobreity test, right then and there. I said “Sure, but can I tell you something? Mr. Dumbass handed me this bottle of Dos Equis. As you can see, sir, I didn’t drink out of it, the cap is still on.”
Of course, I suspect the cop knew that all the long. So he said, “How about you come on down and we’ll give you a test at the station? You too, Mr. Dumbass.”
Long story short, Mr. Dumbass may get in trouble for trying to commit fraud (I’m not sure if he will, since he technically didn’t) and this was about his 10th accident this year, so he’s probaly going to get his license suspended.
The look on his face was priceless when he realised that I had ploayed him for a fool, and he had sucessfully hacked of a cop, who don’t really enjoyed being lied to.
As I said, I’m probaly going to laugh about it for a while. Will have to go in tomorrow to get some bodywork and a headlight fixed.