I’m pretty sure I reported it, but concede that my memory is not perfectly clear on that particular point at the moment.
If it helps you make a decision about sticking around or not, perhaps we could get a mod to look up in the logs if that post was reported (by anyone) or not.
I’d really like to see Shodan’s explanation of this. I’m not holding my breath of course.
I’m not sifting through all the posts that you folks have made that take personal information and use it against the poster. The thread I linked to earlier concerning Morgenstern is sufficient to demonstrate that this sort of behavior the OP is complaining about is not unique and is currently explicitly allowed.
Figured you"d up here, O Pile-on Queen. When was the last time you posted here other than to talk shit on somebody?
Every day. You really should’ve looked at her posting history before you posted this.
MPSIMS is already a ‘Safe Space’. Do we really need to turn the Pit into one, as well?
The very next post took issue with it, and the fourth post after it sort of took issue with it. I didn’t see it, or I would’ve taken issue with it. It’s grotesque and awful.
And it’s still not the same thing. It’s an old fashioned curse, a pox on your family. It’s not finding the greatest struggle of your life, the thing that’s caused you the most trauma, and turned it into a tool to attack you with.
For it to have been the same thing, your kid would need to be dangerously, chronically ill, and she’d have to mock you for being the cause of your child’s illness. Or your kid would have to have constant behavior problems in school, and she’d have to ask you whether your parenting had improved yet.
Say you can see the difference.
I was speaking hypothetically, that it would still be horrible regardless. But especially given your argument I don’t think that’s a good assumption.
Thanks for everyone’s patience while we talked this out in the mod loop.
The issue chiefly revolves around one question: did Shodan know margin’s history with mental illness when he made his comment? Or was he taking a generic shot at a poster with whom he’s had sharp disagreements in the past, that happened to hit closer to home than he expected?
Right now, I don’t see enough evidence one way or the other to make that call. margin has asserted that Shodan absolutely knows about her history, but hasn’t presented evidence to support that. Apparently, at least some of this evidence is on other message boards, which very much limits what we can do about it. Suggesting that someone has/will/should spend time in a mental institution is a pretty common way of calling somebody “crazy,” so the fact that Shodan used that line on someone who has actually spent time in an institution is suspicious, but not definitive. If it was an innocent mistake, not apologizing for it is really not a good look, but “not apologizing for a mistake,” is very much a lower order of magnitude of offensiveness than deliberately attacking someone like that, sufficiently so that I don’t think that, by itself, should be warnable. Shodan himself provided a link to a thread where he asked margin if she had an actual diagnosis, and offered to back off if she did, but she never answered. This is evidence that he did not, in fact, know about margin’s history with mental illness, but it’s very weak evidence - that thread is almost a decade old by now, which is plenty of time for Shodan to have learned differently.
With the evidence for either position being so weak, I don’t feel comfortable moderating the situation. I’m willing to re-evaluate if other evidence is brought forward, but I’m also not a fan of moderating insults for being “too mean,” which is just way to subjective a standard to be workable. Which, incidentally, is why I didn’t moderate the comment from a while back that HurricaneDitka quoted here about his kids, or the “pedophile” crack made about iiandyiiii that he mentioned earlier in this thread.
I’m sure this is a response that satisfies absolutely nobody. Unfortunately, I’m going to be out for most of this evening, and won’t necessarily be able to reply further here until tomorrow. I’ll do my best to keep up on my phone when I have the chance, and will try to answer any further concerns tomorrow when I’m back in front of my computer.
Moderator Warning
This is an official warning for insults / personal attack outside of the Pit.
This is ATMB, not the Pit. Treat others with respect while you are in this forum.
I ask this in good faith and total seriousness:
Do insults and taunts from others on a message board really affect many of you as deeply as it seems? Do you seriously get offended if someone with nothing but a computer and a clever nickname claims your kids are morons or your mother wears army boots? These insults coming from someone who, I think we can all agree, truly knows nothing about your kids’ intelligence nor your mother’s choice of footwear?
Do these slights actually affect your lives or your sense of self-worth at all?
Shodan can’t even post, “I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hurt or upset you,” to margin. And he gets a complete pass. This is the board’s worst moment as long as I’ve been here.
So the answer to the OP is, pretty damn reprehensible.
In other words, “I have nothing”.
I’d like to go on record as saying I think this decision is very disappointing, as well as Shodan’s failure to apologize to margin. If he did make an honest mistake, then an apology costs him nothing.
I went back and looked at that thread. Was I supposed to take Shodan’s—I’m paraphrasing here----“Are you mentally ill? Say so and I’ll backoff,” ? seriously in any way at all? It comes across as a request that I give him another weapon, given that I get the impression he’d turn around and use it as an attack later on----indeed, that is what he attempted to do in the pit. The implication is that if you’re a mentally-ill woman you can be dismissed.
One of the links he himself posted in turn leads to me describing how I was at that very moment on a base in Iraq, and though I was armed with an M-16, I wouldn’t have dared use it on an attacker. I figured the glaringly obvious thing to me at that time-----that predators in the military pick lower ranking soldiers, and that if you can’t probe your case to the satisfaction of the military you will be the one going to prison for insubordonation----would be apparent to anybody.
That one thread was, what, eight years ago? And a board that describes itself as fighting ignorance features people who claim that ‘hysteria’ does not have a history of being used against women. https://www.google.com/amp/s/www.washingtonpost.com/posteverything/wp/2014/07/09/men-really-need-to-stop-calling-women-crazy/%3FoutputType=amp
I find it sad that the (mostly) well reasoned and intelligent people on this forum feel that the only way to release frustrations is by beating each other up in the pit. In middle school, this is the equivalent of “we’ll meet and fight behind the gym after school.” That type of behavior was juvenile back then and remains more so today.
Do you all really feel better spewing mean insults? What’s wrong with you all?
The care and love and well wishes and heartfelt advice and empathy I’ve received from strangers on message boards have brought me through some situations that might have otherwise ended very badly for me. Strangers on message boards have given me a reason to go on and keep fighting that good fight because the knowledge that such grace and kindness from those who have no reason to give it aside from our shared humanity is an affirmation of the worthiness of our species to continue on the earth. The converse is also likely just as true. YMMV.
People have feelings. It’s no less real because it’s on the internet.
People on the internet saved me from people in real life. You can “meet” best friends you would never have met thanks to the internet. You offer help and you give help.
On the contrary, I get confused by questions like this. We’re social monkeys, and messageboards are social interactions. They can affect how folks feel, for better or worse.
Personally, I say very little about my family life on this board, because I know there are some assholes here who would love to use things against me, and I know I’d feel that kind of thing hard. Which is a shame, because there are also a lot of good people here, and I’d like to be comfortable being more open.
(I’m more open about my professional life, because I feel less vulnerable about that–but even then, I sometimes worry that some asshole with more time than good sense could use what I’ve revealed to doxx me and make my life miserable.)
By the way, I wanted to tell you that I’m so sorry for the shabby treatment you’ve gotten from some on this venue–you don’t deserve it and if it’s made your life worse I hope that gets better for you. I’d also like to let you know that on the Giraffe boards we don’t sit still for the kind of putrid treatment you’ve been served up and anyone who tried it would be bitchslapped into well deserved silence. Please feel free to come visit if you like, you’d be welcome.