Just Leave a Message

You have reached this week’s MMP at a time I cannot respond. As your post is very important to me, please leave a message and I’ll get back to you as soon as I can.
Yer pal,


Rue? Pick up if you’re there, Rue?


(aside) I don’t think he’s home…
Man, I hate machines!! :mad:

[lumburg]Umm, yeah…hi. Listen, Peter, I’m going to have to ask you to…go ahead and come in on Saturday. We’ve been making some cuts lately and we need to kinda…pick up the slack. So if you could go ahead and do that, that would be great. Oh, oh, oh and I almost forgot…yeah…I’m going to have to ask you to go ahead a come in on Sunday, too. OK? Thanks…[lumburg/]

oooo - Just had to share this - I’m supposed to get the call with my official job offer today! Yay! Finally!

So, ya know, when you get around to it, get back to me an I’ll accept all hugs and congrats and stuff. That assumes that I get their call before you get back. I’ve been disappointed before, so who knows what may happen. But being the perpetual optimist, I know they’ll call.

Hope it’s before I go home - I do have rather early hours.

I’m gonna be a mess every time the phone rings…

Oh yeah, one more thing - how many Peeps did you eat yesterday?

K - bye!

I don’t know why, but I just kind of assumed that there would be singing dogs or something like that on his machine. Just seems kind of natural, given the persona involved.

<canned voice>
Congratulations, Mr. or Mrs. Occupant! You have been selected to participate in the greatest MLM/time-share/bulk viagra/illegal canned tuna/insurance opportunity of the 21st century! Simply call 1-900-555-1965 and join now!
</canned voice>

[Strongbad]Ohhh… yes… Hell Rue…
This is your Doctor…Doctor professional… and I…uhh… Your results have come back from the lab, and I am afraid I have some bad news…
You have been diagnosed with serious problems… I mean, these are really serious man… and I only give you a couple weeks… sadly…
So If I were you…I would start give your stuff away to people…ummm… like… put your stereo on your steps right now… and go back inside and see what other kind of stuff I… errr… YOU might want to give to people…
Okay! I hope you had a good life [/Strongbad]

Hey, Rue, could I borrow your car for a couple of hours Wednesday night? Mine’s in the shop again. I know what happened last time, but I’ll hose the trunk out when I’m done, promise. Gimme a call back, willya?

D’oh. I’m not sure who I dialed so I’ll leave all my messages.

Mario, your package came in. Should it be kept cool?

Rue, your test results came in. You’re okay.

Leann, your dental appointment needs to rescheduled.

Roger, you left without your pool cue. It’s in my backseat.

[lumburg]Yeah, hi…it’s Bill Lumburg again. Just wanted to make sure that you were coming in today. It’s not a half-day or anything like that, if that’s what you were thinking. Um…ok…talk to you later.[lumburg/]

Just calling to confirm your order for 4 dozen donuts. Please give me a call back before noon. Thanks.

*phone does not get hung up, the conversation in the background gets recorded until the machine cuts it off.

" You know I heard Tina went out with Billy on Friday night"
“Oh really.”
“Yeah, they went to a club and then to breakfast”
" So are they going to go out again?"
“Probably, she’s such a slut”

Hi, uh, Mr. DeDay… Uh, you - well, you don’t know me but my name is Attie Enduv DeDay and I’m trying to, well, I’m researching some family history. I’m sure you’ve realized that DeDay isn’t all that common a name so I’m hoping I’m on the right track here. Look, I’m just gonna list off some names here, and if you recognize any of them, well, you can… You can get back to me, I guess. Thanks.

As I said, I’m Attie Enduv. My grandmother was Bidie Enduv (I took her maiden name as my middle name) and she married Backin DeDay in 1934. They had my father, their only child, whose name is Sayv. He met and married my mother Werda, and had me. I have heard that there are some distant relatives - such as a cousin with a wife named Catcha, and a son named Soupo. If these names mean anything to you, please let me know.


Oh and uh, my number is 555-3329.

Thanks again.

"Good morning Rue, it’s Pastor Robbins.

Rue, we’re getting complaints from many of the other parishioners about your frequent practice of strumming your fingers on the bottom of the collection plate as it’s passed down your aisle to make it sound as if you’ve contributed a number of coins to the collection. We’ve talked about this before and, like with the slug and toll token issue, we’d appreciate it if you’d respect the church’s position in this matter. Also, if you could find it in you to wear a T-shirt that advertises something other than a tavern on Sundays, well, that would be just swell.

God bless… Hank."

Yeah - sorry, I forgot what else I needed to tell you. That thing you asked about last week? Don’t worry. Breakage was minimal. And the other thing in the basement? We managed to get the drain working. But the plans for that place - probably gonna need to find more spandex. Your choice of colors.

And those pants that you were missing? Behind the recliner - I blame the dog.

And don’t forget to order the donuts. And muffins - at least a dozen.

Later - bye.

[lumburg]Umm…yeah…it’s Bill again. I just left my desk for a minute…thought you might have called. So, uh, if you could go ahead and call me back as soon as you get this message, that would be great. Ok? Bye.[lumburg/]

Ummm… yeah… is this like the After Midnight Adult Novelty Store? If it is can you tell me if my leather pants and riding crop and other stuff is in yet? See, I got this date tonight and I promised I’d wear this outfit and like I ordered it two weeks ago and you said five days and I ain’t heard nothin’ yet… so gimme a call at 555-4321. Oh, and yer answering machine voice sounds real cute. Maybe we could hookup together sometime, ok?

or this:

Rue, honey, Rue? This is your mother. Pick up, please. Pick up. I said pick up! I know you’re there. You never answer when I call. You always screen if it’s me. I know you do. It’s ok. I just gave birth to you, fed you, clothed you, sent you to school and all… don’t bother to talk to me if I call. I’m sure this awful twinge I keep getting will cure itself. I’d go to the doctor but all he wants to do is give me an operation and I can’t afford that. After all, how could I keep up with the three jobs plus clean house, cook and look after your father if I’m in the hospital having an operation. Besides the pain is only crippling and blinding only five or six times a day lately. Are you there? Pick up! Hello??? I’m coming over with some jell-o and a jar of vick’s salve later. I can hear you wheezing in the background. You’re sick I know it! What’s a mother to do?

wait… so there really is someone with 867-5309 as their number??
Where is Jenny?

"Oh Rue… Pastor Robbins again.

Mrs. Marple, Mrs. Cunningham, Mrs. Robinson and dear old Mrs. Loompy all think you might have accidentally grabbed their umbrellas by mistake as you left yesterday. Just leave them all in the stand by the door next week, or on the bench next to it if they won’t all fit.

God bless… Hank"

hullo, Mary, I’ve only enough money to tell you this - I’ll no be home from work till 8 the night so dinnae get may dinnur ready for me, I’ll get something fae the chippy oan the way hame …

[of topic]Actual message I got when I lived in Scotland (back in the day when you had to use a pay phone and use money). My name is not Mary, I do not know who this man is/was.
I’ll bet Mary was pissed as all hell when he finally turned up with his fish and chips while the food she’d prepared was burning in the oven[/off topic]