Um, Miller - who is UGH? And why should we not trust UGH?
Guess I’ll never know. Nobody tells me anything around here.
Man, you guys are all way on the wrong track. Didn’t you notice that the moped was totally frictionless? It belonged to Hotblack Desiato, who, although spending a year dead for tax reasons, plans to crash it into the sun during the climax of Disaster Area’s next concert. Sheesh.
Look, everyone, calm down. There Is No Conspiracy! We’re All Okay! Just remember that!
And, anyway, didn’t They tell you that you’re never supposed to write down the Unwritten Rules? Why, just mentioning that could get me diþÖìf% __úÓÓë*&fW H @#¼»
NO CARRIER
I…uh…have to…re…re…recant my…uh…siteing (WHAP)ouch! I mean…story.
I had, uh, been…mmmm…drinking, yeah, that’s it.
It wasn’t a mope(WHAP WHAP)…what I ment to say, was…It was a…uh…bike…yeah. A pretty pink one.
Hehe. Yeah, no conspi(WHAP WHAP WHAP) I mean mo(WHAP)…that is to say…ummmm…A pretty blue(WHAP WHAP)PINK, PINK bike. That’s all.
These people here are my friends. I actually enjoy this. They …uh…uh…uhhhhhhh…RUN EVERYBODY, RU(WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP WHAPWHAP WHAP WHAP WHAP…
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
[Voice - suspiciously like tranquilis’]
Ok, boys, that’s enough, he’s done. Put the robot back in storage. I think they bought it. My credibility’s safe here.
Now bring that ‘Moon Hoax’ guy in here, he he he…
[/ voice]
For the (more or less) complete lowdown on what is REALLY happening, it may be helpful to refer to:
Just be sure to watch out for rabid flying monkeys and particularly those 'smn-ss;sAAAAAAJM-wu
oodbdbq qoomxdtgfuifff6ryjcvxdtr
9e-jf5’Spdfk+s6531+8911rsodk0-erkif,d
frexxxxeor…
It’s black with no markings…I seem to have misplaced it…
(cowering in dark corner, muttering to herself)
Fnord, Fnord, hmmm. Sounds Norwegian–yeah, Norway, eh, what does that remind me of? Old movie, hmmm, Second World War–oh it’s coming to me–QUISLINGS! FIFTH COLUMN!! SPYS!!! OMIGAWD!!!
(Stealthy sounds, moving closer and closer…)
:eek:
** We now return you to your regularly scheduled thread… **
Hey, folks. Sorry I was capt<twitch> Gone for so long. The <twitch> The dental tortu<twitch> The cold I had has kept me in priso<twitch> in bed the last few<twitch> Kept me in bed.
I’m under mind<twitch> I’m fine now. There are agen<twitch> No Grannies on mop<twitch> Grannies on bikes. I was just warni<twitch> Just yanking your chains. Sorry about that.
[sup]OK, I said it. Can I go now?[/sup] [sub]We have one more task for you…[/sub]
Cougarfang sidles in, jumping and twitching at the smallest sound. slinks in furtively, checks to see if anyone followed her
[sub]omigawdijustescapedcansomeonehidemepleaseohpleaseigottahidethey’relookingformethey’reouttogetmethey’regonnacatchmeagainandtorturemeanddoallsortsofexperimentsandscarystuffohpleasesomeonehidemeohpleaseohpleaseoh…[/sub] OH MY GOD HERE THEY ARE RUN EVERYONE RUNRUNRUNRUNRUN TOO LAAATTTTTEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE… sound of really really heavy club being brought down on cat’s skull
uggghhhhhh…
sound of cat being dragged out of room
RoboCF clanks in clank clank clankety clank clankety clank clank clank
in robotic montone everything is fine there is nothing to worry about there are no black mopeds do not panic everything is under control…
RoboCF plunks down in corner, rocking back and forth and muttering incoherently to itself
::runs in, followed by hagbard celine carrying a dolphin::
come on, cougarfang and tranq, the yellow submarine’s just outside!! howard and hagbard are here to save you!! we’ll get to atlantis, those block mopeds aren’t submersible!!
::hears thud from behind, twirls around, sees hagbard on floor unconscious and “howard” unzipping dolphin costume::
you’re not howard!!
not howard-“no, i’m not. come with me.” hits zoot with metallic black blackjack, picks up, throws over shoulder, grabs tranq and cougarfang by feet, limps wearily out of building.
not howard-“the first million years, those were the worst. then the second million years…oh, i’ve got a terrible pain in all the diodes on the left side of my body”
::door slams::
::silence:
cougarfang recovers enough to mumble
where the h*** are you taking us?
cougarfang falls unconsious again
not howard-" well, there’s this old guy, he’s got this cat, he wants you to sing to it. here i am, brain the size of a planet, and what do they ask me to do?"
::keeps trudging wearily, not really being careful about knocking the heads ofcougarfang and tranq on any rocks in his way.
as head gets banged on rocks too many times
Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…
ows continue in semi-consious monotone
suddenly snaps fractionally more alert
sing?
gets whacked
ow, ow, ow, ow, ow, ow…
not howard-“yeah, sing. oh, who cares. maybe you’ll really talk to him, maybe you’ll sing to his cat, maybe you’ll sing to his cat and he’ll think you’re talking to him. it’s all relative, you know?”
::trudges toward large ship hanging in the air in much the same way as bricks don’t.::
unconscious silence
pssst-- hey, cougar, you awake? can you hear me? i think we can get out of this if we can blow this robot’s logic circuits. any ideas? i thought that if we all 3 started singin 3 different songs at the same time, maybe that would do it. tranq, you awake?
::zoot waits for an answer, aware the the black robot’s shoulder is pressing into her bladder, and she really has to pee.::
[sub]Yeah, I’m awake, zoot. Shhh! Not so loud![/sub]
<loudly> The blue gato is microwaveable. Marbles prefer Cola two-to-frog beside singing clouds. I always lie. Listen to me: I’m lying.
[sub]Heh! That oughtta do it! The liar paradox works every time![/sub]
<Robot stumbles, stops, drops zoot, CF, and Tranq, begins to whack steel-plated skull against convenient door-pillar>
Hey! Ow! That’s my steel-plated skull! Use your own skull, robot!
Sounds to me like there’s a solution implicit in that problem. Urine is very rough on electronics.
::zoot jumps up and, using her amazing ability (discovered during a camping trip) to urinate standing up and send the stream 3 feet, pees on the robot’s leg. amid the popping, sizzling and the smell of burning ozone, she and tranq grab cf and run back into building. slamming and locking door, they turn around to find seven people of shorter stature, dressed in black, sitting astride black mopeds. in the living room!!::
hang on a minute, guys, gotta get some toilet paper here!! ::zootruns into bathroom. short people on mopeds stare malevolently at tranq and cf::
head short person- “so, you have discovered our secret. now you must die, before you can tell the world that we work for…”