I mean, Satan hasn’t had much to do, since around 30 AD or so-Christ admonished him, and told he off. Events are now dictated by human free will (yeah, I know, we do evil sometimes)-but we don’t need satan to corrupt us. So, other than stoking the fires of Hell, what does the old deceiver do with his time? He has no power over a committed Christain (or Muslim, or Jew)-so what does he do?
I don’t think many Christians or Jews or Muslims believe that the devil has no infuence over mankind. Sure, he can’t touch “committed” christians/jews/muslims, but the whole point is that he’s trying to wrestle people away from goodness before they become committed.
I suspect that Jews and Muslims might dispute your “30 AD” claim.
He makes toast.
Yup.
Yummy toast.
Goooolden brown.
Why do you ask?
He listens to all the kick-ass heavy metal songs written for him \m/ 
\m/
Seriously though, most Christians would say he tempts people away from God. True, he cannot force people to do anything , but by muring people into various temptations, he causes people to be seperated from God.
It’s one of the things I find strange about modern Christianity, the focus on Satan, who, as you mentioned, has little real power and is barely mentioned in the Bible.
Spends his time looking for a new press agent and marketing firm to replace those that screwed up the Job deal.
In all the years I went to services and to Hebrew School, I don’t remember Satan being mentioned once. If there is no hell, and no salvation, it is kind of pointless to worry about God’s right hand. We were on the Reform side of Conservative, and I don’t know what Orthodox rabbis said. I’ve been to enough Reform services that I doubt Satan comes up there either.
Satan, Lucifer, or George, as he’s commonly called, is often believed to still be in his Garden of Eden role, that of “he who tempts.” He is thought to tempt even the saintliest of Christians, though, to keep them from doing a good job of [task at hand]. So, he’s kind of an ass that way.
I don’t know the origin of the pitchfork, red suit, and hooves, however. Except that the goat is symbolic of a “corrupted lamb.” Biblically, he started out as one of the most beautiful angels, then he got cocky.
A view is that he was suppose to help guide humanity - in God’s plan, in Genesis God left us and Satan was there. God entrusted and empowered Satan to care for us. Satan went his own route, instead of blessings and life, Satan introduced sin into the world and death. Since man is incapable of not sinning by himself, every death is justified - and Satan’s plan seems to be working. Here Satan (and his demons) just lead man into sin.
Then we see God pour out His blessings on Job, Satan protests as Job is sinless at first, which would ruin Satan’s plan as death is only justified if one sins, God removes the blessing and Satan finally get Job to commit a sin of idol words - enough to justify death - Satan’s plan for man still holds and though God does not like it, there is nothing technically wrong with what Satan has done.
Jesus came, fully man, and will be found sinless, Satan’s plan no longer holds, that death is unjustified and Satan now is condemned. Perhaps expelled from heaven, or that he fell like lighting for one last attempt to get Jesus to sin here on earth.
This also split the kingdoms, before this Satan was acting as a authorized agent of God, though stretching the rules, technically Satan didn’t violate any. So ultimatly God is shown in OT times for sending things like evil spirits, though it is likely that Satan was the one who sent that evil spirit as a decision of his own, within the limits of power set by God.
After Jesus’ death Satan’s plan for humanity has been proven to be flawed and God will eventually crush him and his kingdom. Until then Satan continues to command his demonic forces against humanity and angels as well as accuse us before the throne of God day and night.
Going forward Satan will cause great deception, a false god that will have apparently great power and deceive many. One last attempt to pervert humanity. There will be a war in heaven where the angels of God will defeat Satan’s forces. Satan will be bound for about 1000 years, after which time he will be released then condemned to the lake of fire for ‘ever and ever’ or ‘ages of ages’, either way it’s going to be a very long time
The original pre-Exilic role of the satan (it’s a title not a name, meaning “the accuser”) was more or less Heaven’s Ken Starr – special prosecutor cum roving investigator cum tempter into error and evil. (God can run an entrapment sting operation; Satan handles the dirty work.)
Under the influence of Zoroastrian dualism, this role got altered into rebel archangel and/or evil demigod, the sort of antithesis to God that clutters up fiction from Milton to Cabell.
I am not going to get into a fight with Kanicbird, but I’d say that her presentation in post #9 would not be seen as canonical by any major denomination, though it partakes of the straight bill of goods as understood by several groups in various parts of what she says.
The role of Satan has certainly changed over the years. In Hildegard of Bingen’s Scivias she writes the following about the Antichrist’s mother.
Though Hildegard of Bingen isn’t in the bible it does give us a clue as to how people thought of Satan within Christendom.
Marc
The mother of the Beast?
Her best quote: “Stop slouching towards Bethlehem!” 
And one nasty battle that will be. Ever tried to take cover behind a cloud? Even the little greenhorn devils will be hard-pressed to lob a trident without gigging some angel meat.
Cool idea for a story (or screenplay) you have there, though. God being the all-forgiving type, He probably won’t mind that you cribbed a couple of plot points from the Bible. Or maybe He won’t even notice—you did appear to add a lot of your own extratextual flourish. (Not that I blame you; the source material is getting pretty stale.)
I’ve always heard that the hoofed/horned image is another Christian assimilation of heathen mythology, namely Pan - a bit too fun-loving and nature-worshipping to be tolerated…
I’ve often wondered where the common misconception came from that Satan is in charge of Hell. The Bible makes it pretty clear that Hell (aka the lake of fire) is a place God will create at some point in the future specifically for the purpose of punishing Satan and his followers.
I know what the Bible says about Satan, but I think in a duelistic world one must have both good and evil represented by God (good) and the devil (evil). I see no reason to preach the devil accept to scare people into going to church. Better time spent on dwelling of the positives of life, God’s love for us, and our eternal existence.
That is my opinion.
The reason is that Satan is the biggest ‘bully’ there.
Though that is used that way, the real reason is that we are in a spiritual war, there are rulers, authorities of this dark world and spiritual forces of wickedness in the heavens. God wants us to overcome this with His power. It has nothing to do with scaring people, it is about letting the truth out, that our struggle is NOT against our fellow man - that is Satan’s great deception - to make us think we are fighting flesh.
I don’t know about anyone else, but I found kanicbird’s story much more entertaining than the Bible’s version. Although it seems dickish for God to introduce Satan into the world like that. Or the tree of knowledge. Or maybe he was just a really bad judge of character.
I hope this isn’t too much of a diversion from the OP although it does involve Satan. But I have a question which I’ve never seen answered. OK, here it is: what is the point? Let’s assume Jesus is coming back really soon. What was the point of making souls, putting them in meat suits and then, depending on random genetic, environmental, and geographical happenstance, either rewarding them in heaven or having them burn forever in a lake of fire?
So the timeline goes:
God makes the universe and man
We eat that fruit and sin (smooth move, Eve)
God punishes man
Insert ~4,000 years here
Jesus comes and sacrifices himself, to himself (since Jesus and God are the same)
Insert last 2,000 years here
Jesus comes again and kills everyone, battles Satan
People who believe in Jesus chill in heaven, people who don’t prostrate themselves before the lamb (like me) burn
…then what? An eternity of burning and flying around in the clouds? That was a random 6,000 years for…what? Is God gonna do this again? Are our souls in a perpetual rerun? Is he torturing aliens the same way he’s torturing us? If Satan is such a pissant, why doesn’t God poof him away? It’s because God is a sick puppy, right? We’re ants and he has the galactic magnifying lens? Or is it that Satan is a lot stronger than he’s made out to be and God literally can’t touch him? Is Satan a god unto himself? Is Zoroastrianism right?
Given the claim to fame of Mr. Starr, this was too funny for me to let pass without comment. 
So the Bible says there is no currently no Hell? Then why does every TV preacher I’ve ever heard think otherwise, and pretty much every Christian as well?