…something comes along to give you…
…a ray of beauty and hope in an otherwise dismal universe…
…a reason to believe that the world is not irredeemably evil and awful…
…a reason to live…
I’m talking, of course, about the newest, most sublime, most exquisite form of athletic competition.
Ladies and gentlemen, I give you
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THE LINGERIE BOWL!!!
Yes, believe it or not, two teams of lingerie models playing full-contact football in nothing but bras, panties, kneepads, shoulder pads, and helmets! It is a truly wonderful thing to behold. The sideline reporters are also lingerie models, in teddies and garterbelts.
As they say on their Web site, it’s true fantasy football. Only in America!
And the best thing of all, it’s televised in HDTV!
Who cares who wins the election now? Life is good! We have the Lingerie Bowl!
Didn’t they do this last year, too? Kinda funny considering what ended up becoming the main story of the real Superbowl.
By the way, who won the game, anyhow? The real Superbowl, I mean.
The Patriots won last year, on another last second Adam Vinitari field goal. Going for a repeat this year.
Alas, it’ll pale in comparison to a Red Sox World Series victory… 
Hey, let’s stay on topic here!
Lingerie models… ooooooohhhhhh…
How about team names?
Oakland Panty Raiders
Tennessee Titans
Miami Doll-phins
Yeh, it would be pretty hard to match one of the signs of the apocalypse.
Sorry. I like yours, but they’re actually:
Dallas Desire
Chicago Bliss
LA Temptation
NY Euphoria
San Francisco 69ers
Chicago Bares
Tennessee Tittans
Washington Bareskins
Carolina Pantheroff
Kansas City Cheeks
Thinking of the 60’s song:
Backfield in motion, I’m gonna have to penalize you, you-oo,
backfield in motion baby, you know that’s against the rules 
It cracks me up that they also have female cheerleaders, in fairly normal cheerleader outfits. I mean, you got a couple dozen women running around on the field in their underwear…is anyone even going to SEE the cheerleaders?
I sure didn’t notice them. They should have male cheerleaders.