A while back, some friends and I were having one of those random, rambling mass e-mail conversations full of snark and jokes and other good stuff, and for some completely arbitrary reason it ultimately evolved into a game of, well, trading insults about fashion designer Kate Spade. It was basically a typical “your mama” form of dozens, all centering around Kate Spade’s utter ignorance of any terminology relating to fashion or high society. (I’m sure she’s a perfectly nice and intelligent person; we just needed a coathanger for our terrible puns.) And it was a lot of fun, so I thought I’d share some of our best efforts (a few were genuine gems) with the good and witty folk of the SDMB and see if anyone wants to take a crack at adding some more.
(And, of course, the beauty of the game is that, if people like it, it can be adapted to any number of other celebrities whose staggering incompetence in their field can be recounted via appropriate puns to great comic effect.)
So here you go. I’d love to hear which of these are people’s favorites, and definitely feel free to add more in a similar (or, you know, more clever) vein. Or we can just let this thread sink like a stone and I’ll go weep silently in the corner.
Kate Spade is such a hack that…
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks a visible panty line is what you stand in to check out at Victoria’s Secret.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks a skinny jean is made with skim milk.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks a runway model is something you use to land a toy plane.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks an ascot is where your donkey sleeps.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks seersucker is her astrologist’s prostitute.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks a handbag is when someone feels her up.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks Gore-Tex is what that rodeo bull did last night.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks a tube top is the side that doesn’t have the air valve.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks a brassiere is a French restaurant.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks a bustier is something models use to settle bets about their cup size.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks couture is that guy from Dukes of Hazzard.
Kate Spade is such a hack, she thinks Chanel No. 5 is Rome’s network affiliate.
Kate Spade is such a hack, her fresh style and singular personality reflect a keen sense of wit, propriety, and a no-nonsense approach to life.
Your turn! 
