Yesterday, I went to a birthday party for my ex-wife’s brother’s son. This brother and his wife are the only of my ex’s siblings that I keep in touch with, and outside of very rare contact with my ex-wife’s sister’s sister-in-law, the only former in-laws I talk to at all.
I’m just wondering how common it is for other people to keep in touch with former in-laws at all. In my case, I went through a divorce under fairly unpleasant circumstances, and I don’t trust most of the people in that family any longer. But these were all people who, prior to the divorce, were folks I would gladly hang out with whether or not my wife was around. For the brother (and his wife) that I still talk to, we never discuss my ex, and I don’t spend time around them when other family is around.
So do any of you still talk to your former in-laws? And if so, what are the circumstances? How much was your relationship with them changed by the end of your marriage, if at all?
If my husband and I divorced, I can’t imagine staying in touch with his family. I like his folks just fine, and I am polite to his brothers, but I’d never have chosen any of them as friends. There’s nothing wrong with them - just not my type of folks.
I don’t think this will ever be an issue - we’re both too old to break in new spouses.
My husband has some ex-brothers and sisters-in-law (the parents have died). They live in another state but when they come to visit the ex, they include us in events (lunch or dinner at a restaurant) and we’re on their Christmas card lists. They like my husband, and they see as much of each other now as they did before the divorce.
They’re nice folks. Last visit, they gave us several bottles of their homemade wine. It’s good stuff.
Not really. My relationship with my in-laws functionally ended with the divorce. I have attended a single funeral, but that was more to be there for my kids and to a lesser degree for my ex. The fact that the funeral was for my former father in-law was almost irrelevant. I was happy to pay my last respects. I really liked the guy. But I wouldn’t have gone except to provide support for my kids.
Not the same but I am quite close with one of my ex boyfriend’s moms. They don’t keep in touch much but I still go down to NC to visit her and we talk on Facebook and in email and stuff. I suspect our relationship (mom’s and mine) sort of helped sour their relationship because any woman after me was just Not That Good.
It’s funny, both my parents are closer to their MILs than to their own mothers. My mum calls my dad’s mother “ma”. They just “get” each other, while their own mother doesn’t, respectively. They would stay very, very close in case of divorce. In fact, I can be pretty sure the mothers would chose opposing sides if it came down to it.
I’m close to my MIL and FIL and even know my SO’s grandparents very well. He is even closer to my parents. We broke up for a while several years ago, and everyone was devastated. I still visited his gran in hospital, I love her!
In fact, I talk to him more than I do my current brother-in-law, and almost more than my sister who he divorced.
Granted, the only reason he and my sister divorced is because he’s gay. They’re still best friends. They talk all the time, hang out together, go shopping together, go to strip clubs.
My divorce was extremely amicable, and we’re still very close friends to this day. I still consider his dad my father-in-law (even though I now have a second father-in-law) and his father-in-law’s husband is still “uncle Conrad” to me. We’ve talked about it and agree that we all still consider each other family. They send me presents at Christmas and I send them cards at Christmas and birthdays (can’t afford to extend my gift circle that wide yet, but when we have the money we’ll get them gifts, too). My ex mother-in-law is dead, so she doesn’t count, but I wouldn’t have kept in touch with her regardless as she hated me.
I’m Facebook friends with my “ex” father-in-law, his partner, my sister-in-law, my ex-husband, my ex-husband’s new girlfriend, etc. We’re all one big happy family.
I email and speak with my first former mother-in-law more now than I did when I was married to her son. I want her to have a connection with her grandson, and I know his dad won’t work to maintain that for either one of them.
During that marriage my closest friend was one of my sisters-in-law (she’s married to one of ex’s brothers). She and I stay in touch online and exchange kid pictures, and threaten to visit but never do (we live on opposite coasts of the US).
My second marriage unraveled this year. We’ve been a couple for years and years and I feel very close to his side of the family. I’ve been spending holidays with them, and my son has considered them his family since he was a toddler. Both his mom and stepmom have called me several times to assure me that my son and I are still part of the family. I had an obligation in town or I’d have gone to his dad and stepmom’s for Thanksgiving.
If my children’s relationship with their father’s family had endured, I would have kept in touch with the ex-in-laws, despite the things they said to me prior to the divorce. But since my kids want nothing to do with them, and they have never even tried to call or send a card to me or the kids for the last 15 years, I think we’re over them. Except I occasionally check out my niece’s Facebook page. Just to make sure who’s alive and who’s finally dead.