Kentucky Legislature -- totally high or just insane?

*HR 256 (BR 2906) - T. Burch

 Encourage the purchase of a submarine to patrol the waters of the Commonwealth and search and destroy all casino riverboats.

 Mar 25-introduced in House 
 Mar 26-to House Floor 

The long version goes like this…

*A RESOLUTION encouraging the purchase and vigorous use of the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class submarine.
WHEREAS, in the past few years the scourge of the casino riverboat has been an increasingly significant presence on the Ohio River; and
WHEREAS, the Ohio River borders the Commonwealth of Kentucky; and
WHEREAS, the siren song of payola issuing from the discordant calliopes of these gambling vessels has led thousands of Kentucky citizens to vast disappointment and woe; and
WHEREAS, no good can come to the citizens of Kentucky hypnotized from the siren song issuing from these casino riverboats, the engines of which are fired by the hard-earned dollars lost from Kentucky citizens;
Section 1. The House of Representatives does hereby encourage the formation of the Kentucky Navy and subsequently immediately encourages the purchase and armament of one particularly effective submarine, namely, the USS Louisville 688 VLS Class Submarine, to patrol the portion of the Ohio River under the jurisdiction of the Commonwealth to engage and destroy any casino riverboats that the submarine may encounter.
Wha??? Are they serious? Is this their April Fools joke for 2002?

I think it’s a symbolic thing more than anything else. There’s a big debate going on in Kentucky right now on riverboat casinos, slot machines and casinos at race tracks, and other gambling situations. The riverboat casinos in Indiana have hurt revenue at some of the horse tracks, especially Turfway in Northern Kentucky.

I’d vote for totally high and insane.

Opal, they are both high and insane. We (the state) are in a major budget crisis and they are more worried about stuff like this and soda sales in schools than the fact that our teachers are paid much too little, the roads are terrible, and we have about 95 other problems. (Sorry about the editorializing.)

Anyway, considering some of their past decisions, this wouldn’t really surprise me.


OpalCat, you left out section two.

This is the important section for determining if it is gonna be used for April Fools.

Typically, you won’t find the word whoopin’ in a piece of legislation… even in Kentucky.

My vote is April Fool’s joke.

Perhaps the site was hacked?

Also an expression of support for a boat (subs are always boats) named after a city in the state. This type of boosterism happens all the time.

When my brother was on the USS Tucson as a plankowner (member of the first crew), he visited Tucson for local events. These included parades. The boat also brought local dignitaries out to Groton to visit at different times, including boat christening and commissioning.

No, if it was vandalized, it was cracked. By a cracker.

World Eater’s usage of “hacker” in this context is quite appropriate and supported by several mainstream dictionaries. I appreciate that skilled computer users may not like this usage, but I’m afraid they’ve lost this particular linguistic battle. One common meaning of “hacker” is someone who breaks into other peoples’ computers, as the following definitions support.

From the Oxford Advanced Learning Dictionary

From the American Heritage Dictionary

From the Merriam-Webster Collegiate Dictionary

For more info, see the comments for “Actual bill filed in KY State Legislature. Don’t miss” on for 3/28/02.

I think manhattan is going to have to set up a cage match between Derleth and Northern Piper to settle the neverending question of “what do you call criminals who unlawfully deface web sites?”

I have spent some time in Frankfort observing the inner workings of said legislature, and I fail to see why it has to be one or the other.

I have dispatched an e-mail to a high-ranking and smart-assed government official, who can hopefully provide commentary. I’ll post any pertinent info.

Dr. J
(who, for the record, is neither a hacker nor a cracker)
(OK, maybe a cracker, but really more of a honkey)

As a man who was born and raised in Kentucky, I demand that we purchase Red October. It is the COOLEST sub. I would be willing to chip in extra if we could get Jack Ryan to pilot it.

I am so pleased to know that the Iowa Legislature is not the only bunch of law makers that is just a little bit more than run of the mill goofy. Our problem is that our gang of goobers and loonies meets every year from just after New Years until the beginning of planting season, some three or four months. The result is that no one with anything significant to do can even run for the legislature. Ours is made up of small town party idealogies, retired farmers, lawyers without practices and insurance agents living on renewal commissions. It is a marvel to behold. :o

Ha! You’re way too late. Oregon already bought that sub:

Nyah! nyah! nyah!

I guess we have no choice but to declare war on Oregon. The handful of people in Kentucky intelligent enough to read a map will be in Portland immediately!

I’d prefer Jeri Ryan, myself.

“Up periscope!”
“Way ahead of ya, Cap’n…”

Personally I think the bill is funny and it was meant as a bit of levity in the face of what’s been an incredibly rancorous debate in our state legislature, although I have to agree with brianjedi that there are a myriad of more pressing concerns with our state than casino gambling. Folks, our state is facing a MAJOR budget crisis. Things are very tense in the legislare, largely because of animosity in the state Senate. In 2000 the Republicans took control of the Senate for the first time in over seventy years (for the record, the state House has NEVER had a Republican majority). The elected a person (I hesitate to call him a man) named David Williams senate president. He and the majority leader, Dan Kelly, have used this year’s legislative session to antagonize and beat up on Democrats. For once, all of our senate Dems have united in their distaste (an perhaps even hatred) of the Republican leadership. Members of the House are obviously aware of what’s going on in the Senate and might be using a “silly” bill as this to ease tensions a bit. Say what you want about our legislature, but for the most part they AREN’T “high” or “insane”.

Geez, how many times did I say “our state” in my post? Sheesh.

True, this is a very frustrating year for them.

My friend replied to my e-mail, telling me that stuff like this goes through all the time as an attempt to insert some levity. One of the bills he was involved with regarding a local health department had an amendment attached declaring the official song of that particular health department to be “Don’t Come Home a’Drinkin’ with Lovin’ On Your Mind”. After some debate, it failed to pass the floor of the chamber.

Dr. J