[sub]yes, this is a parody thread. The France bashing Is really getting out of hand[/sub]
Kermit the frog, beloved entertainer, was killed this morning. His limousine was taking Kermit and his wife, Piggy, home from a day of shooting when it broke down. The purple, rhine stone studded car quickly attracted attention. A crowd soon surrounded it. When the driver told them that an “important frog” was his passenger, the crowd went wild. They tore Kermit from the car and beat him to death.Renowned scientist, Dr Honeydew Bunsen, fired his sleep beam on the crowd. However, it malfunctioned. Only Bunsen’s assistant, beaker was put to sleep.Piggy attempted to defend her husband, but was overwhelmed by the sheer number of assailants.
She has released this statement “Oh! Oh! My Kermy! I don’t know what I’ll do without my one true love! How will a fragile rose like moi survive in this cruel world? I can only hope to find the strength to survive and to massacre all the people who killed my frog! I’ll give 'em a ha and a hya! I’ll snap their necks like toothpicks! It ain’t easy being green. But, it’s a lot harder being black and blue!”
Many of Kermit’s friends have released statements-
“Borgy de floofen, frog. Deshubulgoobek miv boom. De hitten! De smashen! Mungud froggew! Oh, oh, oh”
“I like Kermit. But, his wife’s a real ham! Wokka wokka wokka! C’mon folks! What is this, a funeral? WHAT?”
“Kermit was Elmo’s friend, uh huh. And now, Elmo is very sad. Dorothy is sad too. Comfort Elmo,boo hoo hoo. Comfort Elmo, waaah!”
“I have lost One, One good friend! So now, I am organizing a civil suit. We’re going for Six, six figures!”
Private services were held at Kermit’s home. In accordance with his wishes, he was flushed after a brief ceremony. Security was able to keep paparazi off the estate. But, two intruders did gain entrance. They took no photographs and caused no disruption except to shout after the elegy.
“Hey! How come we have to stand and the frog gets a box seat?”
“What’s the big deal? We saw him die every time he tried comedy!”
Michigan J Frog, Pepe LePew and actor Stuart French have issued statements that they have gone into hiding for their own safety.
