Sure, you were cute on Sesame Street and various parts of the Muppet Show and the Muppet movies showed you to be a true humanitarian, but it has now become obvious that you are completely insensitive to Miss Piggy’s feelings and completely undeserving of her unlimited love for you.
I’m refering, of course, to how you chose to spend your 25th anniversary. Doing a Denny’s commercial. You even say at the end “I’m a frog, I don’t do French”, implying that you’d never eat at the French restaraunt that Piggy desired to eat at simply because they serve frog’s legs. She didn’t ask you to eat the frog’s legs, she didn’t say that she would eat them, she mearly wanted to spend a special occasion at a special place.
But no, you little web-toed freak, you take her to Denny’s For a Grand Slam Breakfast. Piggy asks what’s in it, and the waitress gets to “Two pancakes, two eggs…” before she orders three of them, confident that you at least have her best interests at heart, even if you wouldn’t go where she wanted to go.
Little does the poor girl know that, with the three breakfasts she ordered, she’ll be confronted with SIX strips of BACON and SIX SAUSAGES.
You’re a cruel, cruel frog, Kermit, and I, for one, refuse to continue to support your perverted and self-serving sense of humor.
“Non-human” celebrities tend to have odd inconsistencies about them. Like, I could never understand why Mickey Mouse was friends with Goofy (a dog) yet owns Pluto (also a dog).
In the surreal muppet world, you can eat AND date pig. Trying to reconcile it may cause a rift in the space-time continuum.
