Kid Jokes (5 And Under)

Yeah, I think that most of the jokes offrered here are a little sophisticated for a 4yo.

A few years ago I was hanging out with a 4yo. Now this is a really bright kid. He knew more at that age about the Apollo space program than I ever have. But his sense of humor was still a little undeveloped. We were telling knock knock jokes in the car, and he laughed at all of them, but it was clear he didn’t understand them. The ones he told were along the lines of

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Um… stop sign!
Stop sign who?
Stop sign light car truck!

Are you doing some sort of routine for kids (at a birthday party or something)? Or are you just trying to come up with jokes for some kids you know? Because what 4 year olds REALLY like is slapstick. Hit yourself in the forehead and fall down. You’ll have them rolling.

For preschoolers there’s not much you can do verbally - there’s almost always some visual element involved. Having said that, contradictions work very well. “I was taking my goldfish out for a walk” would be met with giggles and shouts of “No - a dog”. Or as C3 said, slapstick. Putting your glasses on upside down, tying your shoes together, etc. Little kids LOVE it when you do something the wrong way and they’re suddenly the experts.

My son, just now:

Knock knock!
Who’s there?
McDonald!
McDonald who?
McDonald forgot to put the cake away! Ha ha ha ha ha ha ! Was that a funny, funny one?

Where do Hamsters live?

Hamsterdam!

(Obviously needs the kid to know where Amsterdam is, but was one of the first puns I came up with “independently” as a nipper)

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9.

What goes 99 thump, 99 thump?
A centipede with a wooden leg!

What’s brown and sticky?
A stick!
Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Dwayne.
Dwayne who?
Dwayne the bathtub, I’m dwowning!

Knock Knock!
Who’s there?
Boo
Boo Who?
Awwww, don’t cry!

The interrupting cow and the orange/banana knock knock joke are the favorites among my kids, and they’ve been telling them for years (since they were about 4). Comments upthread are right though- if the joke is “funny” because of a play on words or double meaning, most 5-year olds won’t actually find it funny, but will laugh because it’s a joke.

For a long time my 6-year old’s favorite knock knock joke was one she made up:

Knock knock
Who’s there?
Pizza
Pizza who?
Pizza pie!! [then she and her sister would giggle until they fell over].

Q: Why was 6 afraid of 7?
A: Because 7 8 (ate) 9!

That one makes my nieces laugh and laugh too.

You know what?chicken butt
I don’t even know what that’s supposed to mean, but it kills every time. You know why? chicken thigh

My son made up this joke when he was ~5:

“What if a bunch of oranges and bananas got on a bus and you know what happened?”

(What?)

“It CRASHED!”

You’re not interested in my kids, are you?

This is one of my personal favorite knock-knock jokes. I tried a couple of them (including this one) on my four-year-old a couple of weeks ago, and now my wife and I are occasionally treated to this fine example of the comic art:

“Knock knock!”
“Who’s there?”
“An interrupting cow has come!”
“An interrupting cow who?” — My attempt to salvage what’s left of the joke.
“Don’t cry, it’s only a joke!”

I find this as hilarious as my preschooler does, but for a totally different reason. The moral of the story: Yeah, four is a little young for real humor.

When I was this age this was my favorite joke, bar none:

What time is it when an elephant sits on a fence?

Time to get a new fence! HA HA HA LET ME TELL IT AGAIN!

What goes clomp clomp clomp squish clomp clomp clomp squish?

An elephant with a wet sneaker.
Another good one is to say “I’ve got a knock-knock joke. You start.”
Kid says “Knock knock.”
You say “Who’s there?”
Of course then the kid has no idea what to say after that…

The only one worth telling that I remember from being that young was this:

Q: What’s big, red, and eats rocks?

A: A big red rock eater.

My youngest’s favorite knock knock joke when she was 4:

Knock Knock.
Who’s there?
Scoop!
Scoop who?
Scoop the poop!

She’d laugh herself to the point of incontinence.

When my youngest sister was 5, this was her favorite bit. She’d go up to someone and say “Ask me if I took a bath.”

So the victim would ask “Terri, did you take a bath?”

And she’d answer “Why, is one missing?” Then she’d collapse in a pile of giggles.

One that me and my sibs considered the high of comedy:

Knock knock.
Who’s there?
Micky Mouse’s underwear!

(I think there was a version with Michael Jackson’s underwear, too).

That joke is in a joke book that’s in the Dr. Seuss collection (but isn’t by Dr. Seuss - you know the ones I mean?). I had it when I was a kid and my older son got it out of his school library a few months ago, which was really cool. I hadn’t seen it since I was about 6.

Another joke from that book:
What did the big firecracker say to the little firecracker?
My Pop’s bigger than your Pop!

Of course, when my brother told it at the dinner table, he said, “My crack’s bigger than your crack!” which my parents found HILARIOUS and still talk about nearly forty years later, poor guy.

Here’s the book!