I’ve been appointed to do a standup comedy routine for a gathering of 3rd- and 4th-graders at church next weekend. I need some unbelievably corny jokes (my whole schtick is going to be that I’m incapable of telling a remotely funny joke; they’re all going to be corny zingers - I’ll even have a guy at the drums to provide rimshots).
Here’s what I’ve got so far:
ME (TO STRAIGHT MAN): Hey Justin, a good friend of mine got hurt at work, and now he has a weak back.
STRAIGHT MAN: Oh no, when did that happen?
ME: About a week back. :: rimshot ::
–
ME (TO STRAIGHT MAN): Hey Justin, what’s your favorite baseball team?
STRAIGHT MAN: The St. Louis Cardinals.
ME: I’m sorry?
STRAIGHT MAN: I said “The Cardinals.”
ME: I heard you, I’m just sorry. :: rimshot ::
–
ME (TO AUDIENCE): Have any of you guys ever been to Hawaii?
LETS AUDIENCE RESPOND
ME: Well, I know a little Hawaiian… Her name is Lilo and she’s going into 2nd grade. :: rimshot ::
Nuh uh! It’s ANNOYING Cow. Only you have to be really annoying when you do it. Maybe you can’t be annoying enough so you had to say Interrupting, so there.
As a followup, tell the one about the interrupting starfish. When they get to their second question, cover their face with your palm, your fingers spread out.