Kiddie Christmas Carols

Cafe Society
1

Ooooohhhhh…

*Jingle Bells
Batman Smells
Robin Laid an Egg
Batmobile Lost It’s Wheel
And Joker Got Away! *

Any others?

2

We three kings of Orient are
Trying to smoke a rubber cigar.
It was loaded
And exploded.
Now we’re on yonder star.

3

Deck the halls with kerosene
Fa-la-la (er… you know the tune)
Light a match and don’t be seen
Fa-la…
Watch the school burn down to ashes
Fa-la…
Now aren’t you glad you played with matches
Fa-la…

4

Gliding through the Snow,

On a pair of Broken Skis,

Over the snow we go,

Crashing into trees!

The snow is turning red,

I think I’m almost dead,

But now I’m in the Hospital Bed

With Stitches in my head!

5

Batman’s in the kitchen
Robin’s in the hall
Joker’s in the bathroom
Peeing on the wall!

6

We three slobs from omaha are
spending christmas eve in a car
driving, drinking, glasses clinking
who needs a lousy bar?

Oh Drink to oscar drink to fred
drink to those two trucks ahead
Whirving, swerving its unnerving
drink 'til we all are dead.

7

It’s debatable whether kiddie Christmas carols are artsy enough for Cafe Society, but I came to the conclusion that they probably are. :wink:

8

For a class project, I set a trio of children’s books to Christmas carols. I dunno if they qualify, but here’s one:

*Hark, it’s Harold’s purple crayon
wielded by a toddler’s hand!
Draws a picnic, draws some food
Harold’s in a happy mood.

Till he slips and almost drowns
He gets lost in sketchy towns
Flies away in a balloon
Looking for home, he draws the moon.

Something clicks inside his brain:
The moon’s behind his windowpane*.

Daniel

9

Angels we have heard while high
Sweetly singing o’er the plains
And the mountains in reply
Echo back this glad refrain:
Ga-a-a-nja-uh Ga-a-a-nja-uh
Ga-a-a-a-a-a-anja
High on Christmas Eve
Ga-a-a-nja-uh Ga-a-a-nja-uh
Ga-a-a-a-a-a-anja
High on Christmas Day-ay-oh

10

It was my post that was the clincher, wasn’t it? :slight_smile:

11

IF D.U.I.s don’t sum up the spirit of the holiday, I’m not sure what does.

12

It seems the definition of ‘artsy’ has come to a new low.

13

I once got in trouble leading a rousing, pre-Christmas vacation, chorus of:
*
Hark the herald angels shout
(x) more days until we’re out
(x) more days of misery
in this penetentery

Grab your ball
And grab your chain

Run like hell
For the nearest train

Hark the herald angels shout
(x) more days until we’re out.

14

Jingle bells,
Shotgun shells,
Santa Claus is dead.
Rudolph took a .44
and shot him in the head.

15

That’s the spirit! Keep 'em coming kids!