And on the news at 11:00, Justice Dept today announces that it is proceeding with charges against 37,893 Men who were seen taking their daughters into the children’s toilets at Mall of America. A senior spokesman was quoted as saying “these men obviously saw naked genitalia and some even went as far as to touch a naked bottom. These actions are inappropriate and constitute sexual offences of the vilest nature”
Had there not been extenuating circumstances (e.g. the length of time that has passed, the lack of similar material, the age of the cousin at the time), I am confident that 99% of our reactions would have been quite different. But take note: There’s *nothing *innocuous about children being raped.
Equating the OPer’s mild overreaction upon finding child ponography to hysteria over fathers taking their daughters into the men’s room is far-reaching and offensive.
No kidding? Really?
So, if the situation had been different, then the situation would have been different ehhh?
Because, you know, I woulda given the guy a pass for anything short of catching him in the act with a small child :rolleyes:
I am kinda waiting for the big reveal. You know, a “minor” fact the OP leaves out that proves they were right and the “rest of us” are stupid chumps.
Something along these lines.
He babysat some younger relative once and the mother or father of the kid forbid him to ever come around again, but nobody is telling why.
He went of to a “special school” outa town as a teenager for awhile, but nobody will say where or why or what it was.
That he has run an ice cream truck since the day he could drive. He doesnt even make a profit, but he does it because he “loves the kids”.
His wife wonders if he is gay, because he “doesnt seem that interested in sex with me and never has”.
I think you are absolutely right to be concerned, and that you have a responsibility to confront him. After all, for all you know this is the only sheet he missed when he took the rest with him.
It’s important. It matters. all adults are responsible for tracking these things.
Also, even if the police don’t need to investigate him, he may be able to give them information on where he found the site. The creators may still be operating out there somewhere.
Nah, it’s been umpteen years since the stuff was printed. Also, if a 14 year old stumbled upon a site like that (no credit card or means to purchase access to site or material) then it’s been found and ceases to exist.
Agreed with one caveat. Keep your eye on him. Perhaps harmless dabbling, perhaps a marker for future behavior. Now you know, you know. If someone confides in you something that falls in line with your discovery, you’ll have more to go on than a simple hunch or a ‘nah, couldn’t be him, he’d never do that’ assumption.
For all the people suggesting that his behavior should be under more suspicion than anyone else’s, I have to ask: for how long? Years have already lapsed without indication of any further incident or behavior; how much longer should this guy be under extra special surveillance before you’d clear him as OK?
Wrong. Wrong and kinda right.
First, the responsiblity comes with the authority to DO something. If you don’t have the latter, the former is meaningless. He will simply deny it or lie about it and nothing will change except that you will drive him further underground and perhaps if he still does this, NO ONE will find out.
Second, not all adults are responsible for the entire kiddie porn problem.
Third, he wouldn’t be able to give anyone information directly without implicating himself, lose-lose for the family.
He’d need to report it anonymously if confronted.
Here’s the thing, no one’s saying watch his every move, rather it’s a simple thing, if he shows behavior that’s -suspicious- like making sure he’s always alone with little kids, etc. then you have something concrete to act on. This may never surface again, but on the other hand there could be signs people are missing because they’re not looking for them. That happens.
No, but we are responsible for following up when we see any sort of evidence of it.
I disagree with the widespread assumption across all these answers that law enforcement is incapable of a reasonable reaction to this scenario.
Meanwhile, a parent could still be mourning and wondering about a child pictured on that sheet of paper. And maybe they could recognize the adult also in the picture.
Likewise the cousin may no longer remember where (what site) he found that stuff. But maybe he would, and maybe the information would be useful to law enforcement.
What the OP has been confronted with is the evidence of some pretty heinous crimes. It should be turned over to people who may be able to make use of it. I feel certain that they would accept a simple statement of truth about the origins, but an anonymous statement providing any small amount of information could also be useful.
It is a crying shame that the evidence was destroyed.
Bingo.
But the useless outrage remains and must be directed towards something and someone apparently.
Another thing that gets me. The OP didnt even consider/heed the most reasonable advice of all. Take some time to think this through, consider the alternatives, weigh the consequences, get other evidence ect ect…
I guess they had to get to the bottom of it before he headed down to the neverland ranch with all the family rugrats.
I think AquaPura seems to be dealing with this very sensisbly. I probably wouldn’t bring it up at all at this point, but I have to trust that she knows the individuals and we don’t. What she seems to be saying is that even though it’s 99% certain there’s no problem, she has or may some day have kids who would be around this guy, and that is reason enough to verify and make sure everything is okay. Wouldn’t you take a slight risk in a family relationship to make sure your future children weren’t violently harmed, even if that possibility were very remote?
If her responses were not so measured, I’d feel differently, but I don’t really understand people second-guessing her motives here: they seem clear and reasonable.
This needs to be repeated as often as possible. Searching the web in the 90s was weird. All kinds of crazy shit used to just appear when looking for the most innocuous stuff.
And looking for porn? Forget it. I never found any kiddie porn, but the pop-ups on sites that included just run-of-the-mill Playboy scans were fucking creepy.
Update please Aqua Pura.
Okay, for those under the belief that the cousin should be held to a higher standard of what’s considered “suspicious” (ie: moreso than you would hold the average adult accountable), for how long should he be held to this standard?
This entire post really says it all, in particular the part I boldfaced. Even if he denies and the op and her boyfriend believe him, I’d place money that the cousin will never ever forget they entertained this thought about him. That relationship will never be the same.
*also wanted to say that I don’t think it’s the op’s place to be too involved in the questioning since there is no direct family relation there.
Yeah but I don’t think it’s a “mild over-reaction”, but rather totally over the top. And offensive to who? You? The OP? Men?
And being questioned as though you have committed one of the most heinous crimes possible (pedophilia) when you are totally innocent on the other hand is not the lest bit offensive though right?
“Totally over the top” would have been contacting the police, something which at least one poster actually suggested.
Had the cousin not had child pornography in his possession, he wouldn’t have been questioned about it at all. So he bears some responsibility in the matter. And while most posters, including myself, are advocating giving the cousin the benefit of the doubt, none of us, including you, know with certainty that he’s “totally innocent.”
But as OTHERS have pointed out, what the OP has posited as evidence against the cousin is “evidence” that a good fraction, if not the majority of males in the US who had access to the internet in the 90’s would ALSO have against them.
Do you run around asking half the males in their mid twenties today if they are pedophiles? Do you worry about that large a number of guys?
If so, you must grab your children and run in terror when you see a catholic priest coming.
Heck, you might as well say “if you gotta wienner, we gotta ask”