The majority of males in the US who had access to the internet in the 90s possessed images of toddlers being raped? Nope, not buying it. Try again.
The consensus here seems to be good fraction probably saw it, at least thats how I read it. You ask em again. All ONE page of THUMBNAILS “proves” is that he most likely saw such things. Again, the majority of porn surfing male teens in the90’s probably SAW the same darn thing.
Were YOU cruising the internet in the mid to early 90s? Because if you weren’t you have NO idea…
I also note that the OP hasnt come back and gloated how “well” the big inquisition went.
Quoted for truth. If you wanted to find the stuff, it was very readily available. If you didn’t want to find the stuff, you stumbled across it at least once or twice a week inadvertantly.
I also want to know how the confrontation went - do hope that Aqua comes back for an update.
Sorry to leave you hanging people. An inadvertent hospital stay over the weekend prevented timely response.
I did consider the most prevalent advice in this thread, which was to just drop it and pretend it didn’t exist.
I found this advice ill suited to the situation at best.
My boyfriend and I discussed the situation at length. Leaving something like this untalked about was a poor idea. If we had done that, we would have always wondered if it was a sign of something larger.
Yes, I AM filled with useless outrage. There is no one to be mad at. I have no idea who abused the children in the pictures and therefore cannot direct my fury at them. Even though I am stuck with this impotent rage. None of it was directed at the cousin. We certainly weren’t persecuting him for “stumbling” upon some kiddy porn, nor would we, which I have stated over, and over and OVER in this thread. He did not “stumble” upon some kiddy porn people. He printed it out off the internet and used it for masturbation fodder. All we wanted to do was find out if it was a sign of a continuing problem, or if it was material used when he didn’t have a clear idea of what right and wrong were.
(I don’t know why I am repeating this. I have said this over and over again in this thread)
The “confrontation” as I so poorly worded it in the beginning went fine. The first words out of his mouth were “Thank God you guys found that and not Auntie”. He couldn’t remember exactly what he had stuffed in THAT folder, but when we told him that some of the stuff was kiddy porn he was not surprised. He apparently found some other stuff in his old porn files that was also as bad. This was not the only folder he had, in fact he said he had at least ten of them. All filled with various types of pornography. All these file folders stemmed from when he was younger and had just found the glorious world of internet porn. At that age, apparently he was not a real connoisseur, and would just print whatever he found. He said he was glad we asked about it instead of just watching him funny for the rest of his days. He also said, in his situation, he would have ALSO asked us. He wasn’t angry, or terribly embarrassed that we asked him about his porn collection. He offered to let us look through his house, and his hard drives if we had any doubts to what the type of porn he prefers is.
We declined and spent the rest of the evening raiding Naxxaramas together.
There appears to be no fall out from this in our relationship with him. He was not shocked or appalled that we thought he might have a problem, we did FIND kiddy porn in his room after all.
I am glad that some of the people in this thread at least realized why we needed to ask about this. I do regret that we had to destroy the pictures but I was not going to risk his life to turn in those photos to the police. Nothing good would have came of it, and even if the police cleared him of any wrongdoing he still would have carried that stain on his name for the rest of his life. It could have cost him his livelihood, his freedom, and perhaps even his life. That isn’t something I idly risk.
If I was him I would be secretly hating on you right now. Just my two cents.
You keep saying this. I’m sorry that you think so poorly of him that this was your immediate and unshakable assumption. No wonder you assumed he was a pedophile.
You don’t get them out of your brain. You remember them the next time you’re tempted to “page through” a folder marked “secret” in search of “prime harassment material.”
x2 for me. This is what has upset me so much about your posts, not that you should want to question him about it (although I still think you shouldn’t have). If you had just said that you found it and wanted to ask him, fine. That you keep repeating and repeating (even in you “post confrontation” post) that it was masturbation fodder is a big leap that says to me that you have already convincted him in your own mind.
In the papers and in court they use terms like “accused” and “alleged” for a reason - it is because language has a very direct relationship to state of mind, if you use language that indicates he is guilty, your mind will make that assumption even if intellectually you are still weighing the evidence.
Sorry for the double post, forgot to add - I am also pleased and relieved for you that it went well and you can all now move past this…
Ahhhhh that would be no and no.
He’s clearly not glad you asked him about it. (You didn’t really think that, did you???) No one on the planet would be. I’d bet dollars to donuts that while you are grilling him, he was boring holes in your boyfriend with his eyes wondering “why the hell are you putting me though this, Why didn’t you call off your sanctimonious girlfriend you nutless wonder and You never surfed the net for p()rn when you were 14?”
And of course he said he would have done the same thing. Because the last thing he wanted was for you not to be placated. The last think in the world he wanted for your you to be trotting around to the rest of the family with the “Well I just had! to confront Timmy about that kiddie porn I discovered. He said he was cured, but he didn’t give me that pound of flesh I wanted, so I just don’t know. I’d watch out if I were you!”
Not sure you are savvy enough to know it, but you are just where everyone said you would be:
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You really don’t know any more about him than you did two months ago.
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He’s pissed at you, and even more at his male cousin who let you put him though this.
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And he’ll be worried about this for a long long time and I’d bet you’ll notice him distancing himself from you.
Sounds like this went as best as it could have, considering the circumstances. Maybe I’m in the minority, but I think you went about it the right way, and it sounds like his reaction was sincere and what you were hoping for (though I do wonder why he didn’t ditch it earlier).
I’m sort of surprised how many people automatically chalked it up to childish curiosity. A 14 year old pedo or sexual predator may seem like a contradiction in terms, but they certainly exist (though I’d estimate most if not all are simultaneously victims of abuse themselves).
Printing out porn. What a novelty. I shudder to think what hormonal stupidity and easy access has in store for today’s teens.
But that was the point that you are the OP were missing.
Hormonal Stupidity + Easy Access + 14 Year old = Printing P()rn Thumbnails
And that’s all it was.
Unfortunately for all concerned, adults should have known not to make a “federal case” out of it.
I was under the impression s/he made a point of not getting the law involved.
Again, I think/hope the OP and the boyfriend know this guy well enough to trust that this was the case (rather than, say, the boyfriend knowing the cousin’s family has a history of abuse, or something similar).
If it wasn’t to masturbate to, what WAS it for? Hell, that is what I do with MY porn. This WHOLE time I’ve been thinking that you masturbate to porn. I mean, I guess I could be using it to line my budgie cage, but I thought masturbating to my porn instead of my yarn catalogue was not as weird. To each his own I guess.
It WAS a wank folder people. This did not surprise me. It did not shock me, it didn’t even worry me. I expect MOST people to look at and masturbate to porn. The page of kiddy porn in the folder was not the entire contents. There were other pictures and penthouse stories. If he wasn’t wanking to it what else is it for? I suppose those could have been dried up crusty frosting stains on the papers, but will you excuse me if I guess that they are spooge considering the subject material?
I wasn’t freaked out that he might have used these to wank when he was a kid, I was worried that wanking to kiddy porn might be a CURRENT problem.
Bzzzt, wrong, thanks for playing.
It was either me and my boyfriend find it or his aunt, which do you think he would have prefered?
It wasn’t the “sanctimonious girlfriend” who made the decision to ask him about it, it was the “nutless wonder” boyfriend and relative. It also wasn’t me who asked him about it. It was the nutless boyfriend. I was there, but I didn’t do the asking.
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I do know more about him than I did two months ago. I know he is allergic to tree nuts, prefers to raid on his death knight instead of his mage, prefers marinara to bechamel, and oh yeah, he’s not a pedo.
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Oh yes, he seems quite pissed at me. He brought me my favorite sundae, a new gameboy game, and a stuffed goose while I was in the hospital. The sundae must have been poisoned. I suppose the symptoms are just delayed. He also seems quite distant and angry at my boyfriend. They are right now in the living room playing Xbox.
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Only time will tell with the “How long will he be angry?” bit. He doesn’t seem real distant right now. This could be because he invited himself over for dinner and to bribe my boyfriend to play Halo. I will forgive him though, he knows I always cook enough for an army, and that he is always welcome. Also, if he didn’t eat here his wife would have to eat whatever he cooked when she got home from work. I don’t hate her that much that I would wish that on her. I wrapped her up a doggy bag though.
I think we may have some trouble making a “federal case” out of this considering we destroyed what was there to make certain it didn’t become one.
You’re being a drama queen.
Thanks Cicero. Glad you could add something constructive or even slightly pertinent there.
Is everyone done with the “Randomly Insult the chick who was freaked out over kiddy porn?” thread?
I fail to see how ANY of what transpired was dramatic, but hey, maybe things are really low key in your neck of the woods.
I don’t think it’s very random. Do we need to put caveat emptor in big red letters before you submit a thread? How hard is it to grasp the concept that when you mention a controversial issue, people are going to have strong feelings about it and if you’re going to be upset about that then maybe you should stick to writing in a journal and not on a messageboard.
Asked and answered (in a sense) multiple times in this thread.
I’ll assume that you are reading the thread, and simply were not satisfied or persuaded, and that you aren’t pretending no one has addressed this. At any rate, I really hope you’re right about the cousin’s reaction, and about your own confidence that you really don’t have lingering doubts, for all your sakes.
Yes, kiddy porn is a controversial issue. The scales swing wildly when people wonder if it is good or bad. Perhaps we should make a list of pros and cons?:rolleyes:
I am not upset that my course of action wasn’t agreed with. I am irritated by people stating they know better the feelings and motivations of the people in this situation even though the only report of said situations are my posts.
Then people turning around and telling me I am a drama queen for even THINKING of asking someone about their kiddy porn, and that I am beating the drums for him to be burnt at the stake for this when
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I didn’t make the decsion to ask the cousin about this, I merely agreed with it.
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My first impetus was to destroy the “evidence” which would have landed him in hot water REGARDLESS of the age of it.
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I kept any and all mention of it to either my boyfriend, or an anonomous message board.
Hell people, it isn’t like I posted his name and number and made a post that said OMG LOOKIT THE PEDO>!>!>Onenen11
Get a grip.