This, honest-to-Og, is the title of a book a friend of mine met in the Slush Pile at Houghton-Mifflin:
The Littlest Concubine
Maybe it was next to this title:
The Calico Catamite: Cross-dressing trans-generational fun on the prairie!
That’s been written, too? :eek:
**Peter Rabbit Meets Farmer MacGregor’s Ferret
How to Catch Mommy and Daddy Fucking
The Erotic Adventures of Doctor Dolittle
The Wonderful Wizard of Ounce
Grimm’s Unexpurgated Fairy Tales** (you actually can find unexpurgated editions of the Brothers Grimm, but not in the children’s section, and for good reason!)
**Alice’s Adventures in Las Vegas
Mary Poppins Applies a Little Discipline
Fun with Accelerants
“What’s That Hole for in the Toilet Stall Partition?” and Other Answers for Curious Young Minds**
Why Big Brother Washes His Pee-Pee So Long
Mommy and the Pool Boy
Daddy Likes the Babysitter and Long Drives to Her House
Counting the Corn in Your Poop
Zappy the Treerat Dances on the Substation Insulator
Hairy Palms and Other Lies About Touching Yourself
**Scavenger Hunt Challenge: Where Does Daddy Hide His Cigarettes?
“Why Are We Created Only to Suffer and Die?” And Other Brain Teasers
Earning Pocket Money at the Bus Station Restroom
Beyond Scratch ‘n’ Sniff: A Child’s Guide to Blotter Acid
Are You There, God? It’s Me, Damien. You Goin’ DOWN, Bitch!
The Great Brain Plots Global Domination
How to Pretend You’re Listening to Grownups
Encyclopedia Brown Meets Tony Soprano
Encyclopedia Brown Sleeps with the Fishes
How to Tell if Your Teacher Is Gay
Putting Grandma Out of Her Misery
A Child’s Guide to Inferior Races
Slingshots, Air Rifles and Cherry Bombs: A Child’s Guide to Low-Intensity Conflict Weapons and Tactics**
I’ve heard that gag. (I think it was in an e-mail.) Others include:
It Burns When I Pee, Charlie Brown!
All Dogs Go To Hell
Some Kittens Can Fly!
Why Grandma’s Not Moving
Katy Was So Bad, Her Mother Stopped Loving Her
The Princess And The Pill
H.P. Rowling presents; Harry Potter and the Great Old Ones
Bambi meets Mr Ram (Mr…Dodge Ram)
It’s Hunting Season in Teletubby land (oh wait, ones we don’t want to see…)
Curious George and the Nuclear Warhead
You’ve got Radiation Sickness, Charlie Brown!
Barney the dinosaur visits the freindly Leper colony
Barney discovers the real reason dinosaurs went extinct
Kermit the Frog and the French Gourmet Resturant 
Meet our freind, Mr. Ebola
Bob the Builder forgets to turn off the current while fixing his projection TV
Freddy Krueger visits the Village of Make-Believe
The Happy Tree Friends* and the Retarded Animal Babies* visit Sesame Street
*NSFW, very funny, but not for the humor-impaired
Harry Porthole and the Philosopher’s Bone
Harold and His Pink Crayon
(Daddy’s) Too Big For Diapers
The Cat In Heat
Cars, Trucks, And Things That Go Running over Your Pet
The Little Engine That Could Masturbate
Hop On Pop, Like A Good Little Girl
The Three Little Pigs 2: Makin’ Bacon
Mr. Toad’s Wild Poo Stick Ride
Horton Fertilizes An Egg
Nancy Drew Her Panties Down
The Hardy Boys Mystery Of Fire Island
The Jungle-Love Books
Thomas the Skank Engine
Frog And Toad Together (But They Still Can’t Legally Marry)
Puppy’s Getting Pointy!
The Berenstain Bears And The Truth About Hunting Season
Caillou Puts Away His Toys And Finds Daddy’s Gun
The Golden Shower Book Of Fairy Tales
James And The Giant Biotch
Little Red Riding Hood And The Man In The Furry Wolf Costume
Dora Drowned In The Deep Sea
If the gods had never created a hell before this thread, I think they just voted unanimously to do so. 
**Danny Dunn and the Secret Bioweapons Project
Matthew Looney and the Earthling Anal Probe Expedition
Oh, the Stinks You Can Stink!
Bartholomew and the Anthrax**
**The Lion, the Bitch, and the Whore’s Robe.
The Magician’s “Nephew”
Tales of a Fourth Grade Junkie
Ramona the Crack Addict**
The Hardy Boys and The Mystery of Nancy Drew’s Bastard Child’s Paternity
101 Things Worse Than Spanking Your Parents Can Legally Do To You - for problem children
Your Parents Had You So They Wouldn’t Have to Mow The Lawn or Do the Dishes Anymore
Stop Being Such a Fucking Pussy: A Child’s Guide to Self Reliance
So You’re Retarded…
Extortion Schemes for Children
’Experiments’ on Younger Siblings Activity Book
Divorce is Caused by Little Shits Like You
Fuck Sesame Street by Mr. Rogers
All Children Are Stupid and Ugly…Even You!
The Magic Schoolbus and the Heat Death of the Universe
The Kids’ Guinness Book of Records Guide to Uncaptured Serial Killers
Walt Disney’s The Red Badge of Courage Junior Novelization
Davy and Goliath get “Left Behind”
Roger Waters’ A Children’s Guide to The Wall
Why Your Teacher is On Top of You
Daddy’s Special Soda is Fun!
The Mein Kampf Primer