Kids' funny lyrics to well-known songs

Quite a few of us must know some of these.
When my younger brother was about 13, a friend of his sang a version of the “Colonel Bogey March” (cf. Hitler’s one testicle, as Cecil mentioned in * More of the Straight Dope, * and the movie [Bridge over the River Kwai": ) *
Comet, it makes your mouth turn green
Comet, it takes like Listerine
It makes you vomit
So get some Comet and vomit today! :wink:

I hate Bosco!
Bosco hates me!
Mommy put some in my milk
And tried to poison me!

I fooled Mommy!
I put some in her tea.
Now I have no mommy
To try and poison me!

Bosco was a chocolate drink mix. I haven’t seen or heard of it for years and I couldn’t tell you the words to the real jingle to save my life but I remember the parody.

My kids used to sing the part in Jingle Bells about “bells on bobtails ring” as “bells on Baptists ring”. It always brings back memories of wintry nights and romantic sleighrides with grunting Baptists jingling along as they pulled the sleigh!

“non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem”
– William of Ockham

Hey, Pluto: Did you by any chance grow up in or near Venice, CA, in the 50s? My older brother knew those lyrics to the Bosco jingle! We’d never dare sing that within our mother’s earshot, of course. Especially today.

No, I grew up in Spokane, WA. But I think we must be near the same age!

“non sunt multiplicanda entia praeter necessitatem”
– William of Ockham

I was born June 10, 1949.

I remember the Comet song from my childhood, but I had NO idea what tune was being parodied. Guess you just don’t hear the “Colonel Bogey March” any more …

Sung to the tune of “the star-spangled banner”

Oh say can you see,
any bedbugs on me?
If you do, pick a few,
and I’ll fry them for you.
If you happen to throw up,
I will lend you a cup;
drink it down,
do not frown,
for it’s nourishing too…
Oh say do those bedbugs
ever yet roam
over the land of the free
and the beds of our home?

“Eppur, si muove!” - Galileo Galilei

Oh, this brings back memories…our elementary school principals name was Mr. Spicer…This song has been in existence for years before I started school and as far as I know is still being sung.

Whistle while you work,
Spicer is a jerk,
Ennie Meanie bit his weinie,
now it doesn’t squirt.
Took it for repair,
filled it up with air,
Overloaded and exploded,
now there’s nothing there.

What do you want from a bunch of kids?

An optimist sees an opportunity in every calamity; A pessimist sees a calamity in every opportunity.

Jingle bells, Batman™ smells,
Robin™ layed an egg.
The Batmobile™ lost a wheel
and the Joker™ got away… hey!

Sung to the tune of “My Country Tis of Thee”

My country’s tired of me,
I’m going to Germany
My name is Fritz.

My mother used to sing this all the time. Don’t know why, but it cracked me up.

“I think it would be a great idea” Mohandas Ghandi’s answer when asked what he thought of Western civilization

Umm… Because it’s funny? C’mon Lucky, she’s not my mom, but she cracks me up too!

Remember “Disco Duck”? When my wittle brother and I were young (he was 5, I was 7), way before we knew any curse words, we’d sing:

“Disco, Disco Duck, Risco, Risco Ruck, Misco, Misco Muck, Cisco, Cisco Suck, Fisco, Fisco Fuck…”

My dad says he never corrected us. He didn’t want us to know we were cursing or we probably would have done it more!

Most common question I ask: “What?”
Most common question I get: “Are you really hearing impaired?”

Hey, Zette: Didn’t you see this in * More of the Straight Dope? {/i]
Whistle while you work
Hitler is a jerk
Musssolini bit his weenie
Now it doesn’t squirt.

And to the tune of the “Colonel Bogey March”:
Hitler, he only has one ball
Goering has two but very small
Is very sim’lar
And Goebbels has no balls at all. :wink:

“Jingle bells, Batman™ smells,
Robin™ layed an egg.
The Batmobile™ lost a wheel
and the Joker™ got away… hey!”

Say, AWB, didn’t anybody ever teach you the second verse?

Batman’s in the kitchen
Robin’s in the hall
The Joker’s in the bathroom
Peeing on the wall…