Reading this thread, I can’t wait until virtual reality makes huge advances (a la when they played the first-person shooter on Futurama.)
Can you imagine acting this out, complete with neckbreaks and disembowelment, and no one actually getting hurt? Funnest. Game. EvAr.
My early thoughts were that the 1st and 2nd graders are merely “unavoidable collateral damage”. If they are at the back of the attacking horde, they’re useless to the attacking students and can be mopped up quickly if they haven’t scattered after the big kids are taken out. If the little kids are at the front, they can be taken out easily – then they can be used as shields and weapons (toss their little bodies at the remaining attackers). And once a sufficient number of the smaller kids are down, their bodies can be used to build a fortress that the attackers will have to scale.
Even if the teachers are equally homicidal, they are battle-savvy enough to realize that their strength lies in a cooperative defense. If the teachers were scattered at the beginning of the fight, they would quickly group together as much as possible. They already have a chain of command in place. They are used to making cooperative decisions and used to making fast decisions under adverse circumstances. As has been pointed out, the teachers already know which kids are trouble, and the teachers would cooperate to neutralize those kids first.
My vote: age and treachery over youth and numbers
I am so going to share this thread with the rest of the teachers at my school! 
I’m telling you that you are vastly underestimating active 7 and 8 year old boys. You simply cannot take them out before they are all over you. Do you really think that you can still be standing with 50 lbs around your neck, 100 pounds on each arm, and 100 lbs on each leg? While being kicked in the crotch? Not gonna happen. They will be feasting on your brains.
Can you really throw a limp 50 lb body with any force? Most people would barely be able to get it off the ground.
I really like the “Fortress of Corpses” idea though.
Please correct me if I’ve misinterpreted your post.
Teachers: 12 votes
Cisco
kunilou
Excalibre
Happy Scrappy Hero Pup
sofia
SsgtBaloo
clayton_e
little*bit
Evil One
wmulax93
Johnny Bravo
lainaf
Students: 8 votes
MikeG
monica
nocturnal_tick
ZebraShaSha
BoringDad
Bosda Di’Chi of Tricor
Diogenes the Cynic
Ryle Dup
Conditional: 6 votes
Call me Frank
Ronincyberpunk
Spezza
bienville
Ludovic
silenus
Where do the janitors and cafeteria workers stand in this?
The teachers would know which students are more of the leader type, and send the gym teachers out to take em down hard and fast. The music teacher would disappear and be held for ransom. Lunch boxes would be deadly. Odds are the weaker teachers would go down quickly, along with the VP’s, but the strong ones will rally and put those kids in their places.
My vote is with the teachers, but I need to put some more though into this.
Based on what I know of elementary school organization, here’s about how it works out.
20 Classroom Teachers (more than half will be under age 35)
10 teachers’ aids (they’ll tend to be in their early 20s)
4 coaches/PE teachers
6 cafeteria workers and 4 janitors (all stronger and in better shape than the coaches)
6 administrators, librarians and music/art teachers (they’ll probably be 35+ but some of those music and art teachers are incredibly strong from lugging their equipment and the librarians can palm a 20-pound dictionary) If there’s a guidance counselor, she can shout out stuff from the students’ permanent records, thereby psychologically destroying them.
My guess is that out of a staff of 50, at least 35 will be in excellent condition.
Batman, if he’s prepared.
WOW! Never expected this many responses maybe 20 or so but this went better than I expected. They all were great
If Batman’s in on this, Robin sides with the kids.
Well there are so many variables.
Many people have written about how the teachers can intimidate the kids.
But what about when your average teacher comes across little Cindy Loo Who in her blonde pigtails and her big blue eyes tearing up as she kneels by the now still body of her best friend? (that you killed) Think Puss in Boot in Shrek 2. As the teacher kneels down to say I’m sorry another kid sneaks up behind and hits her in the head with a brick.
Then he and Cindy Loo high five over the twitching body of the teacher and move on to the next one.
If the on set of hostilites is sudden then each teacher faces his or her class alone.
So every fifth, fourth and I’d say half of the third grade teachers are toast.
The other teachers may get out of their rooms alive if the janitor/cafeteria adults come in to help them. They could regroup but they would be far more tired than the students. They would probably end up in small rooms but not all together. Maybe groups of three or four adults. They could only barricade themselves inside and try to wait till the kids fell asleep.
I’d go with the kids.