Don’t forget the younger ones and their teeth. Sharp, deadly teeth.
::shudder::
Teachers:
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Students:
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This hypothetical really doesn’t have much foundation in reality. 50 teachers for 400 kids? I think 4 teachers per grade is more realistic, so 20 teachers vs. 400 kids. But I’ll answer based on the 50 that you propose, though it significantly skews the results.
Now, I wonder if this is a war that has been brewing for sometime, one that both sides are prepared for, or does one side simply get fed up on day and attack the other. Does each team get to group and strategize first?
Both Sides Prepared:
Teachers win. Strategic application of their dominance in size and knowledge.
Teachers attack:
If the teachers are the agressors and the kids are on the defensive, again I’d say the teachers would win- based on my above stated means.
Children attack:
If the kids are the agressors and the teachers are on the defensive, this would be pretty hairy. The kids would need to take the teachers by surprise and with their entire forces combined, in which case they would win.
But what if the attacks start from homeroom, the kids against their respective teachers? The third through fifth graders would win their turf quite quickly.
HOWEVER, the first and second grade TEACHERS would win their turf quite quickly. If the first and second grade teachers lay waste to the younger kids quickly enough they would be able to provide reinforcements to the teachers of 3, 4, and 5, a possible Pyrric victory for the teachers (though, with great emphasis on the qualifier “pyrric”, regardless of whether or not I spelled “pyrric” correctly).
BUT if the third through fifth graders beat down their quickly enough, they could join the younger kids and soon the hallways would run red with the blood of the faculty.
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Depends on the weapons allowed:
even on an empty field:
Hand to hand, …still the teachers. Even 8 2nd and 3rd graders piling on top of a teacher couldn’t do much. Even a large, 100 lb 4th grader would be no match for a grown 110 lb adult teacher: their bodies havent developed yet. 5th graders, though, could probably take out the teachers by sheer numbers.
Knives: students, easily.
Guns: back to teachers. Too much fragging potential on the students part.
Teachers Go Nuclear
Perhaps this disgusting but relevant bit of information will help.
Tampa middle school teacher Debra Beasley Lafave turned herself in to Marion County authorities Monday, as investigators there released details of her alleged sexual relations with a 14-year-old student.
Throw a couple of perverts at the biggest, most physically mature group of students and the battle ends quickly – although the therapy bills would be enormous.
If this is a fight to the death, I think the kids would lose thier nerve after seeing thier comrades killed in front of them. Especially if the teachers started screaming “Whose next!” while allowing a lifeless body to slide to the floor.
You’re redefining the example by saying the kids would all give up, that’s a little silly since the OP was about what would happen if the kids / teachers started fighting, and one side didn’t immediatley give up.
I was in 4th grade not that long ago, (I say 4th because I skipped 5th) and the students in my grade would definately beat the living crap out of the teachers. It was no contest, we are all faster, stronger, and had more endurance. Take into account the 30-1 ratio and it’s just a joke.
Nope, the OP doesn’t say anything like that. Even START’s second post only requires they run toward each other and start fighting. Evil One’s scenario suggests the fighting has started.
The O.P. specified 50 teachers vs 400 students, which is a 1:8 ratio. This may be a very exclusive school, but more likely the 50 “teachers” includes the office staff and the cafeteria and maintenance personnel. My interpretation of the O.P. is that there are no weapons.
There are 5 grades, so each teacher can be attacked by one student from each grade plus 3 additional students. If the students are divided evenly grade-wise, then there are 80 students in each grade. This means that every teacher can be attacked by a 5th grader, and 30 of the teachers can be attacked by two 5th graders. Ultimately, each teacher can be attacked by either two 5th graders plus one 4th grader or one 5th grader plus two 4th graders, as well as five smaller nuisance students.
I gotta go with the kids.
Have you ever had eight 3rd graders pile on you? That teacher is toast. I am a normal sized adult male, and there is no way I could fight off more than 5 or 6 3rd grade boys at once. Many third graders can leap from the ground and grab you around the neck and hold on. One on the neck, 2 on each limb, any more than that are kicking you in the tender parts. And don’t think that 2nd or 3rd graders don’t know where your tender parts are.
And the kids don’t have to really even be vicious to fight. To them, it would all be good clean fun! Personal experience: 5 kids ages 2,3,3,6,6 piled on top of me were mighty hard to dislodge, and they all giggled uproariously when my hair got pulled or I got stomped in the ding ding (using the same terminology pressent at the time.)
I’m still not convinced that the kids have it in them to finish the job.
I’m conditioned to being hit. I’m conditioned to strike, not to flail. I’m also not going to stop in disbelief at a severe infliction of pain. If I get hit in the happy scrappy tender bits, well, even if I do go down, I’m lashing out and buying time to kill whoever did it to me, not just crumpling up and waiting for attention. A child is not an adult and does not have the capacity to absorb pain or even accept damage that a full-grown human does.
If I do get jumped at the same time by a 12-year-old, an eight-year old, and two five-year-olds, say, even if I do get hit square in the 'nads, the two fivers are dead before I hit the floor, whether by a thumb in the eye or a twisted neck as I fall. That leaves me with an eight-year-old to use as a human shield until I crush the windpipe, then it’s one-on-one time. And I like my chances against a 12-year-old.
I don’t think a child of 11 (or a significant percentage of 400 children under 11) has the emotional capacity to recognize the need to keep me down.
And what are the circumstances here? If the gloves are off, I can mow down my attackers pretty quickly and move to help the next guy. Are these kids trying to kill me? Am I free to do what I like to preserve my own life/health?
But, we have already established that kids and adults both have the willingness to kill hordes without remorse. That assumes that they do not have regret, and more importantly, emotions in general. Would someone who could kill without remorse feel pain? I am sure they could feel it but would they be affected by it?
Your are taking a system of thought into a field of implementation which it was not designed for.
I have no idea why I am being philosophical about this anyways. The only real way to find out would be to test such theories…
The rules as I understand them:
Any goes until some big wienie starts whining about how there is nothing funny about disemboweling young children, and then this thread turns into a train wreck and gets closed.
Where does it say “no weapons?”
With any amount of warning or prep time, the teachers will mow down the little demons. 
No weapons, no warning = no chance for the adults. We would go down like caribou to a wolf-pack.
If the Young Jedis among the 12 year olds can arm themselves with steel rulers-cum-lightsabers, they could take the teachers all by themselves.
If I’m one of the teachers, I’m taking about 50 of the little pricks with me. I’m not tall, (only 5-11), and under 200 lbs, but I’m a hell of a lot stronger than any 5th grader. They may overwhelm me eventually, but I’m taking a bunch of them out first. Think about the swarm scene in Matrix: Revolutions.
Sorry to double post, but I need to add this.
At the first lull, I’m stripping down naked and using their blood as war paint. Let’s see a 10 year old cope with that.
Slight hijack:
Went paintballing a few years ago and saw something funny. Seems an entire high school soccer team (or something like that. maybe football) had taken a trip to the paintball range for a fun day out. Towards the end of the afternoon, one of the employees came up to us and pointed out the entire team milling about.
It seems the coaches had agreed to a kids vs. adults game. The coaches had been given a few minutes to go into one of the ranges and hide in the brush, and the kids were waiting for the go signal.
The whistle blew, and the adults popped up in a tight circle around the group, cleaning them out.
The moral is that students simply don’t expect any sort of real treachery from teachers. I give it to the adults in any situation where they have even a few moments of planning.
If you get naked in front of the kids, the Moral Majority goose-steps into the room , & drags you away. They paint a sign on the wall: Night and Fog and Jayzuz Luvs Yew!
You are never seen again. :eek:
If all the teachers can take the pain of a 12 year old crunching their bits, and come back up fighting, then it would not be a blow out. The kids would not know to intentionally keep you down or finish you off. Some teachers might get finished off by overzealous attackers, but most would be ignored once they went down. It would be a long drawn out battle.
But I do not think most elementary school teachers have that kind of battle hardened stamina. Likewise most teachers do not know how to kill a 7 year old in a single blow.
Eh. Some of them would think the blood was cool, most wouldn’t even make the connection. And I’m sure that almost all would be pointing and repeating “I can see his penis! Look, look! I can see it!” You’d get more distraction out of the naked than out of the blood.
And my vote for funniest post of the thread goes to lainaf for so clearly stating the rules.