My greatest :smack: moment in a King’s Quest game:
[fade in to King’s Quest 4]
Queen Valanice: Oh, Rosella! King Graham is sick and dying! Go get the fruit from the land of FarTheFuckAway!
Princess Rosella: You got it, mom!
[Rosella appears on a beach]
Rosella: Oh boy, I’m gonna solve PUZZLES and rescue FAIRY TALE CHARACTERS and save my DAD and oh boy oh boy!
[cut scene with Lolotte]
Evil Fairy Lolotte: Oh I’m an evil fairy! In the place of a Dark Lord you would have a Queen! Not dark but beautiful and terrible as the Morn! Treacherous as the Seas! Stronger than the foundations of the Earth! All shall love me and despair!
Henchman Edgar: Uh, copyright, copyright.
Evil Fairy Lolotte: Right. Well, uh, let’s go mess around with Rosella.
[Rosella in a forest]
Rosella: Yay me! I’ve solved some PUZZLES and I got some ITEMS and the fruit that’ll save my dad is behind this waterfall and through this cave and whoah, there’s a troll after me! Maybe I need a different item to get past him. I’ll come back later.
[in Lolotte’s castle]
Evil Fairy Lolotte: Hi Rosella! Run some errands for me, 'kay?
Rosella: Aren’t you evil?
Evil Fairy Lolotte: No, I just look that way. Scurry along, dear!
[Rosella solves some PUZZLES and runs an ERRAND, then gets another errand and solves THAT, and gets another errand]
Rosella: Damn, I pwn these errands.
[Rosella solves the last errand]
Rosella: Hey, Lolotte! I did it! Go me!
Evil Fairy Lolotte: You sure did! Hey, I’m gonna lock you in a tower and force you to marry Henchman Edgar. Be a sweetie now!
Henchman Edgar: Dur.
[Rosella escapes and defeats Lolotte]
Rosella: I win! Yay me! Hooray! And the good fairy is sending me home! Awww YEAH, I’m down wit my bad self, booya.
[Rosella arrives at home and returns to her dad’s bedside]
Rosella: Dad! I did it! I solved all the PUZZLES and I saved all the FAIRY TALE CREAT-… ohshit.
Valanice: You forgot the fruit, didn’t you.
Rosella: :smack: