Kirk "Bananas" Cameron does it again

His newest modestly-titled masterpiece, Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas, is a docufarce in he which inaccurately describes to his born-again brother-in-law Christian White(subtle, ain’t he?) who wants to clean up Christmas from all that commercialism, Santa Claus stuff and all those other Christmas traditions that pagans and others are claiming as their own, were actually Christian traditions all along-even Santa Claus and the commercialism! This movie started on Friday, but not near me. I’d be willing to pay for the cost of a matinee seat if someone would want to give it a shot.

OK, I’d love to see the what-passes-for-logic behind that one.

What? No one wants to watch Kirk explain how the immense pile of Christmas presents under the Christmas tree isn’t excessive at all, but represents the skyline of New Jerusalem?

I can’t remember what the term for it is but a lot of those Mega church preachers preach that Jesus was actually pro materialism and it is your Christian duty to take as much as you can. There’s a name for this this school of thought but I can’t remember what it was and Google was no help but basically it is just thieving, selfish assholes justifying their world view with religion.

Prosperity theology, also known as Prosperity Gospel, most likely.

But Kirk goes much farther that Prosperity Theology in this film. He actually denies that the Christmas tree has any pagan roots at all(there were trees in the Garden of Eden, and Christ was hung on a cross of wood, y’know), and that having Christmas in December is totally a Christian thing that has no influence whatsoever from any other religion.

Bravo for Kirk Cameron! Nice to see someone stand up for decency and intelligence. As opposed to the atheistic fascists at the Colorado Springs high school who don’t want Christian teenagers meeting in free time to pray and sing hymns. Or the lesbian mayor in Houston who tried to subpoena pastors sermons. Because the First amendment doesn’t apply to anyone who thinks differently.

I don’t doubt that he does. I was just offering that in answer to Quimby’s question about the name of the movement preached by Joel Osteen and other guys like him. Sorry if that wasn’t clear.

Who here is attacking his First Amendment rights? Care to comment on the film and it’s contents?

Is clear-Thanks.

Christian White?

Please tell me that’s a joke.

The last time Kirk Cameron told a joke it was written in the script for him…and he didn’t get it.

The first amendment allows anyone to stand up and spout pretty much any nonsense they like. Case in point: Kirk Cameron’s Saving Christmas. Me, I stand up in crowded theaters and shout, “Fluffy Pink Armadillos!” It’s my right!

Wait—I thought Ernest saved Christmas.

This has got to be the first time in the history of the multiverse these two sentences have been uttered in this sequence. Who says there’s nothing new under the sun?

That was it. Thanks!

Don’t be absurd. Of course it’s the Bethlehem skyline. That’s why boxes are boxy.

No, I’m pretty sure that was Tim Allen. Or maybe Will Farrell. Or Vince Vaughn.
You have to start wondering why Christmas keeps getting in trouble like this.

Christmas must have sinned and needs to accept Jesus.

Can’t be, no one who sang such overtly sexual songs such as Get Lucky could be a true Christian!