I’ve got some adorable kittens that should be ready to go in a couple of weeks. Give me your address and I’ll Fedex 'em to you,
Asshole aside: We can handle this transaction via USPS if it makes one more comfortable. 
Seriously you would have to undergo a strenuous interview process to get one of our kittens because our family has grown quite attached.
Obviously the Missus has gotten involved.