Know What's Worse Than Discovering A Pile Of Cat Puke In The Kitchen?

[TheLoadedDog]

Or maybe brutha Maikha is having a… ahem…

…“tamper crisis”.

:mrgreen:

[TheLoadedDog]

And that my friends, is not only in the wrong thread, but on the wrong message board entirely, the server being embarrassingly located about 16 000km away from the correct one.

Oo-er.

[dogbutler]

Know what’s worse than discovering a pile of ant-covered cat puke in the kitchen?

1. Discovering a pile of cat puke on top of your monitor(which lasted another 18 months before dying of old age).

2. the dog hornking on your bed while you are in it.

3. Watching the cat puke on the dog

4. Watching the dog suck up the cat puke before it hits the ground(Even the cat was grossed out by that one).

[medstar]

@dogbutler

Know what’s worse than discovering a pile of ant-covered cat puke in the kitchen?

1. Discovering a pile of cat puke on top of your monitor(which lasted another 18 months before dying of old age).

2. the dog hornking on your bed while you are in it.

3. Watching the cat puke on the dog

4. Watching the dog suck up the cat puke before it hits the ground(Even the cat was grossed out by that one).

Did the dog try to kiss you afterwards? Did you let him?

[percypercy]

I have such a gross story, y’all should pay me for not telling it. I am, however, gonna tell you about last night. My sister had come over to use my computer(vague excuses about hers), and she brought along her pug as usual. The little thing’s been carried in someone’s armpit since she was born. She doesn’t know different. My five cats, though, that was exciting. Since every one of them was bigger than her, most of them by at least two times, they didn’t have any trouble.

So the dog is left to roam the house while I’m bouncing from computer to computer. Cos, see, my mother was over as well. And they both demanded attention. Which was fine with Coco(the dog). We saw her next when she strolled back into the dining room and began vomitting in front of us. It was a combination of cat food, cat shit, and apparently, she’d also been gnawing on a wool afghan. Much vomit ensued.

Like I said, that story isn’t a tenth as gross as the one I shouldn’t tell.
-Lil

[Tuckerfan]

@alice_in_wonderland

NAY! I like kitties - my friend has two that are lovely - but sadly, I’m alergic to their little kitty bodies so I’ve never had one as a pet.

I had no idea about the, uh, um, puke and stuff. (MOUSE HEADS - ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!?!?!?!? ahem).

FWIW - I have a little fluffy puppy that does a pretty good job of shnoogying, barfs very seldom, and puts his turds in a doodie pan, so I’m doing ok on that front.

So git yerself a hypoallergenic kitty! The most disgusting thing I’ve found is a decapitated and disemboweled bird on the kitchen floor (no idea how the cats managed to catch it, since their both belled). Naturally, this was on a night when I’d had a rough time at work and just wanted to grab a quick shower before crawling into bed. Both the cats seemed horrorstruck with me when I scooped the corpse up with papertowels and tossed it into the outside trash can. (Daaaaad! What are you doing? That was a present!)

I think that they may have another one squirreled away in the place that I can’t find as one day one of the cats that had been inside all day, curled up in my lap for a cuddle, and I couldn’t help but notice that she had feathers all over her mouth. :eek:

[Cazzle]

@Kalhoun

I recently opened a door without noticing a pile of cat puke right by it. The door ground it into the carpet in a beautiful semi-circle. Really nice! You get so much more puke stain for your money!

I had a difficult-to-housetrain puppy who used to poop next to closed doors. You haven’t lived until you’ve tried to clean dog poo off the bottom of a door. :smack:

I woke up several mornings ago to find my cat vomiting on the bed beside me. It’s not the ideal way to start your day, but there’s something about having the washing machine loaded and running within five minutes of waking up that makes you feel productive, lol.

[dogbutler]

@medstar

Did the dog try to kiss you afterwards? Did you let him?

I live in a no licking apartment.

[danceswithcats]

@dogbutler

I live in a no licking apartment.

That could place one at a decided disadvantage when it comes to inviting a lady back for another date.

[lieu]

Let’s see… how about if you were at the doctor getting an enema and halfway through the procedure he held up a full bottle of barium and exclaimed “Hey, what happened to the bottle of cat puke?”

[butler1850]

Years ago, I had “evil cat,” who came to my household via a girlfriend (now, very Ex).

This spawn of hell was the worst of all possible worlds… not just unfriendly, but rather outright mean, and spiteful.

The WORST, is coming home after a night on the town, and trying to crawl (at best) into bed after lifting the covers barely enough to slide under, and slipping neatly (and very friction free) through a large pile of vomit & runny shit secreted under the sheets. I’m certain to this day, that the cat knew I’d be coming home in sorry shape, and developed this plan. Any idea how tough it is to not kick the cat who is watching from the bedroom doorway with a sly look, while you’re changing the sheets while trying to ignore your drunken condition?

Didn’t shed even a tear when that cat decided to make it’s escape for parts unknown.

(I am a cat person too… the two at home now are grand, and I’ve welcomed as many as 4 in my house at one time… gratefully! With that one, ONE was too many)

[gigi]

@lieu

Let’s see… how about if you were at the doctor getting an enema and halfway through the procedure he held up a full bottle of barium and exclaimed “Hey, what happened to the bottle of cat puke?”

…that I was keeping preserved in formaldehyde?"

[Broomstick]

@What Exit?

They can be soft and cuddly. A good friend when you are sick or sad. They can take on the position of court jester with their silly antics. They can contribute to the household with their vermin hunting ability.

I used to have a parrot that did all that, including hunting and eating rodents, but without all the puking. Which might be one reason I keep birds instead of cats these days.

[Broomstick]

@VampyChick

Forget the cat puke, try stepping on a severed mouse head barefoot.

It made a little popping sound. And stuck to my foot. I managed to hobble over to the paper towels, remove it, throw it in the trash, and stick my foot in the sink to scrub it silly without ever looking down.

I once stepped on a LIVE mouse. Of course, afterward, it wasn’t alive anymore. I can confirm the “popping” sound. Wonder I didn’t kill myself screaming and bouncing off the bathroom walls

[What_Exit]

@Broomstick

I used to have a parrot that did all that, including hunting and eating rodents, but without all the puking. Which might be one reason I keep birds instead of cats these days.

That is cool, I find cats more cuddly, soft and warm. There is also that whole purring thing. Amazing its affect on many humans. Of course people’s taste in animals differ. That is only to be expected.

Jim

[Broomstick]

Parrots can be quite cuddly. In fact, I can’t get mine off me. They are total attention sponges and quite soft and fluffy

[slaphead]

@butler1850

The WORST, is coming home after a night on the town, and trying to crawl (at best) into bed after lifting the covers barely enough to slide under, and slipping neatly (and very friction free) through a large pile of vomit & runny shit secreted under the sheets.

Wow :eek: . That’s on a par with whoever it was who jumped out of bed and put their jeans on commando to find the puppy had pooped in the pants. We’re getting a cat soon, and I think I will treat the bedroom with orange peel or whatever it is that acts as a cat repellent.

[yo_han_go]

Your cat should be named Aristocrat!

[butler1850]

@slaphead

Wow :eek: . That’s on a par with whoever it was who jumped out of bed and put their jeans on commando to find the puppy had pooped in the pants. We’re getting a cat soon, and I think I will treat the bedroom with orange peel or whatever it is that acts as a cat repellent.

Not all cats. THIS cat. Pure evil. This 9 pound would, could, and did block access between rooms. It’d walk over and swat you, just because. It’d then fool you, sit on your lap and get a quick rub, then bite you hard on the hand. The house was not a happier place following evil cat’s arrival.

I’m certain to this day that Satan called him home, and that’s why he left.

My two current cats are nothing but joy. A few pukes around, but usually easily found… though 2 inches off the hardwood/lenolium flooring and on the rug. :smack: We’ve had as many as 4 at our home, though currently we have 2, which is a nice quantity.

Like any pet, they have their downsides, but I’ll always have a few nice ones in my home.

I credit my wife’s cat as the reason I was able to continue dating her. Her cat hated all men… couldn’t be found when was was around… the cat was in my lap 3 minutes after I arrived in her apartment for the first time. :eek: was the wife’s response… well… he must be a nice guy…

[Cat_Whisperer]

@slaphead

<snip>We’re getting a cat soon, and I think I will treat the bedroom with orange peel or whatever it is that acts as a cat repellent.

Let me re-iterate - make your bedroom a cat-free zone from day one. This is my advice for all new cat owners. And think of me kindly when you’re sleeping all night without a nocturnal animal bouncing on you with incredibly hard feet at 4 in the morning because they’ve decided you’ve slept long enough. And when you put your feet on the floor in the morning and there’s never a pile of puke there. You can still have kitty snuggles - just kick 'em out before you go to sleep.