Sorry for bad english. Keyboard screwed. Difficult to type. Certain keys grouped together. Backspace (delete) work, otherwise impossible to type coherently. If I hit, for example, “p”, “v”, or “e”, all three letters type at same time: “pve”. Here is alphabet as I type it:
a obr [cw d pve f g h int j k l umy int obr pve ]xq obr s int umy pve [cw ]xq umy z
What wrong? Keyboard need cleaning? If so, how?
INThaintks
If multiple keys are activating simulataneously, it sounds like you wither have a lot of hair in the keyboard, or a liquid spill.
Cleaning is easy. I’d advise having lots of Q-tips for a thorough job (maybe 20 for a first timer) but paper towels work fine for everything except cleaning between keys The basics you need to know are these:
a) top cover
b) bottom cover
c) flexible plastic domes with a black conductive center core (these may be individual or in a continuous sheet)
d) Printed circuit board with interleaved ‘fingers’ at each contact
e) keyboard cable
f) Printed circuit board for electronics (may be part of D above)
g) keycaps (the plastic parts with the letters on them)
h) on fancier or clickier keyboards, ther may be springs, etc. between the top cover and keycaps.
Pressing the keycap causes the central core of the dome to press down on the interleaved fingers on the contacts of (D) The carbon (black conductive core) shorts out the fingers, closing the circuit. The ‘dome’ acts as a spring to make the keycap pop back up.
a) unplug keyboard
b) place keyboard face down on table
c) remove screws. Hunt for hidden screws under stickers (find by running fingernail over sticker, and poke hole in sticker. Don’t bother peeling sticker.) and under rubber 'feet, etc. (tweezers help here)
d) keycaps are usually captive (they won’t fall out) but may be semi-captive (they will drive you crazy). The flexible ‘domes’, on the other hand will usually scatter to the four winds if you are not careful. They are interchangeable, but don’t lose any. If all you domes are part of a single sheet, life will be much easier.
e) remove bottom cover carefully, watch where the cable runs insice the cover, so you don’y pinch it when you replace the cover. Also note where the plastic pins on the cover line up with the other parts.
f) Without scattering domes to the four winds, examine the Printed circuit board with the contacts. Clean dirt with Q-tip or napkin. Solvents are unnecessary.
g) (IMPORTANT!) examine contacts on black dome contacts for dirt. Clean visible dirt. no solvent/cleaner needed.
h) If keys are sticking or activating together, examine the keycaps and the area under them for hair, dirt etc. You may remove the keycaps, but make sure you replace them in exactly the same hole. (remove/replace a few at a time if you aren’t a touch-typist and don’t have the layout memorized) This ia a pain in the a**, so your degree of diligence should vary with the severity of your problem and
your patience.
i) if you must lubricate a keycap stem, use dry lubricant like graphite or “lithium” powder
j) Reassemble. This becomes easier with practice. You didn’t really notice where the cable ran and where all the pins were, did you? Suffer. Next time, you’ll listen to me.
k) dang, and you lost a ‘dome’ too – use one from a key you never use anyway, the ‘any’ key – what you don’t have an ‘any’ key? What kind of furshlugginner keyboard do you have, anyway? How do you do software administration? Okay, steal a dome from F9-F12 (NOT F1-F8) If you steal F8, the sysadmin will break the keyboard over your head someday.
HAVE FUN!
WAIT!!!
Did you sat P V and E were co-activating?
Your keyboard is broken. Bad.
Maybe it’s something simple, but you’ll never figure it out if you don’t know how to clean a keyboard. Discard it. Or save it for parts. Like I care.
Alternatively, look in your right hand. Is there a leg in it. I thought so. Next time don’t pull my leg so hard.
— KP… 33 minutes to end of call
INThaintks, INT’ll intobrumy inthaint.
(Translation: Thanks, I’ll try that).
I just usually buy a new one. 
Thanks for the info, KP. I’ll know what to do next time I spill something on my keyboard (trust me, there will be a next time).
I had forgotten about an old keyboard I had lying around.
Ahem:
The quick brown fox jumps over the lazy dog.
I’m back, baby! I can type anything!! BWAAA-HAAA-HAAA!!
I think I’ll donate my old keyboard to the CIA as an encryption device.
Chronic spiller? buy a keyboard skin.
ha.